A Single Dream Come True
by seilleanmor
Summary: A story for advent with a new chapter posted every day. Each chapter is one year later than the previous, from 2016 through to 2040. My interpretation of the canon future we were shown. Merry Christmas!
1. Chapter 1

_All I ever wanted_

 _Was a single dream come true_

 _And darling that's you_

 ** _No One But You,_** **Daniela Andrade**

* * *

 **December 1 - 2016**

* * *

"I think it's time to go home."

Kate is watching him struggling at the window. For ten minutes now, he's been trying to get the lights to stay artfully draped around the frame. At the loft, there are little brackets that he leaves up all year round so that he can simply slot everything into place and be good to go. There's no such luxury here, and the inconvenience is making him grizzly. She offered to help and he muttered something about wanting to do it himself, sent her away.

He hears her, of course, and his shoulders come up around his ears in defence. So much of both of them is defensive these days. Rick lost a lot of weight over the summer and she can see the shadow of his ribcage through his shirt.

"Babe."

The floor is cold even through her thick socks. She goes to him, slowly and palms out so that he doesn't get spooked. When she reaches him, Kate slides both of her hands around his middle and lays her cheek to his spine. He's always been so warm, and she finds herself navigating to him over and over again as if he's a furnace in their frigid sublet.

They could afford something nicer than this. Even with the medical bills, and the remodelling of the loft, and the steadily mounting pile of things she refuses to even look at yet, they're not exactly broke. Rick isn't so rich that it doesn't make a dent, especially all at once like this, but they're still comfortably within their means. When they were looking at places on the laptop, she found something wrong with each of them. She didn't want them to make a home, didn't want to get settled in a new place. They chose this one because it was in a good location, and because she knew it wouldn't be somewhere that would make them want to stick around.

She was fleeing, tail between her legs. Rick was beside her just as raw, but he was beside her. For much of the summer, she drew her strength from his solid presence even as she had to watch him waste away. Both of them got worse before they got better.

Kate wanted to hide away at the cabin, and Rick at the Hamptons. He won, because the Hamptons is nearer and big enough that their loved ones could come and visit. When it came time to come back to the city, neither of them could stomach living in the loft. They tried, but Rick found her one morning bent over the counter and sobbing because she discovered a fleck of blood at the bottom of the cabinet that the cleaners hadn't caught. They were professionals, crime scene cleanup specialists, and even they hadn't managed to totally erase the evidence of what happened to them there. How they died.

"We need to think about it. Let's not rush in."

He turns in the circle of her arms, but he still doesn't look at her. His eyes are on their feet, her slender toes hidden away in the fluffy socks she stole from him. She nudges her way between his a little further and steps in close. Her face at his neck, she feels the thump of his pulse against her cheek.

"I don't think we're rushing," she tells him. She doesn't want to force him into this, but one of them needs to take action. She's so tired of homeostasis, and it's not like they're going to be able to cling to it for much longer anyway. "Don't you want to go home, Rick?"

"Of course I do," he grunts. A clumsy hand scrapes over his face, and he lifts his eyes to hers. "I want us to go back to normal, but we're hurting, Beckett. We're both going to be hurting. Maybe for the rest of our lives. Doesn't the loft just make it worse?"

"Not for me," she says immediately, automatically. Only afterwards realising how true it is. "I feel like I can't get warm here. Or comfortable. This was a placeholder, and it was fine to finish recovering here, but isn't it time to start living again?"

He blinks slowly, and his head bows until his forehead touches hers. "I think we already started living."

HIs wide, warm palm spreads slowly over her stomach. The baby rolls over in her belly, a little foot kicking out to meet her daddy's touch. Rick's face washes clean with awe, as it has done every time since he was first able to feel their daughter moving. She's twenty two weeks pregnant, and their little bug is as squirmy and animated as Kate always expected a Castle baby to be.

"I want to bring our baby girl home to the loft. I want her to grow up there."

It's been weighing on her for a while now. Watching her husband come back from the storage unit with the Christmas boxes and then stand frozen with indecision in the middle of their living room was the last straw. The decorations all have their places at the loft. It's been thought out years and years before, and everything comes together so beautifully. Her silly, wounded heart can't take Christmas in this apartment.

"They are finished with the renovations. We can move back in whenever, technically."

"So let's do it, then. Before I get too big to be useful."

That earns her a laugh from him, and pride melts slowly in her chest. Since they were shot, Kate has found herself constantly seeking to make him smile. He's been solemn, but the baby has helped. It's given them both something to work towards, something to focus on that's about hope, rather than just getting back to where they were before.

"How is she today?"

"Had hiccups earlier." Kate smiles wide. She gave up shying away from her emotions weeks ago. Carrying their child, feeling the baby moving inside of her, is the purest joy she has ever known. Her husband's smile grows in echo, and he leans in to touch the happy curve of his mouth to hers. "She's great. We both are. Ready to get back to where we were."

Kate takes the lights from his free hand and puts them back in the box. For good measure, she folds the lid closed. He's growing more eager with every moment now, as if he's coming alive with possibility. All summer, the two of them have gaggled together like wounded geese, left behind when the rest of the flock left for someplace warmer. Now Rick stretches his long neck, flaps his healed wings.

She busies herself tidying away the few things he unpacked from the boxes. He helps, and as they work the eager, goofy man she fell in love with slowly comes back to her. He sheds the skin of their awful summer and emerges pink and shiny. Neither of them is exactly healthy yet, but the end is in sight now. Her body still aches, and she knows his does too, but they both have a firm goal. To be able to rock their daughter when she's born in April.

Once she's done, he wraps his arms around her and tucks her in close against his chest. He's done this a lot lately, as if he's trying to shield her the way he couldn't at the start of the summer.

"Kate," he breathes into her hair. "Next Christmas, we'll have a daughter."

"I always did feel like Christmas can fall a bit flat without kids," she admits. When he pulls back to look at her his eyes are wet. The curve of her belly arcs gracefully between them, and their little girl rolls over inside her. "And I. . .I can't wait to watch you make it magical for her. Alexis has told me stories."

He huffs a laugh and shakes his head at himself. "I've been known to get a bit carried away. It's just so fun, Kate. Their little faces all lit up. Just- amazing."

"Hey." She captures his face in her palms. His cheeks are just starting to plump again, and she smoothes her thumbs over them. "I'm so in love with you."

His mouth opens, closes again. After a beat of silence, he leans in and kisses her. It's more fierce and more desperate than either of them has allowed themselves to be since the start of the summer. She's so tired of being tentative, so tired of tiptoeing around so as not to spook her body.

When he drops to the couch like a stone and tugs her into his lap, she goes easily.

* * *

"Are you alright?" She's really trying not to laugh at him. His shirt is still off and they're both on the floor, Kate in his lap. He's balancing his takeout container on her thigh.

"Yes. Yeah. You wore me out, woman. Aren't you supposed to be the exhausted one?"

"Second trimester. I feel great. Baby girl is being kind to Mommy."

Rick bows his head until his forehead meets her shoulder. She's wearing a tank top, hasn't bothered to put her sweater back on, and even this innocent meeting of skins has the blood pounding at the base of her throat.

"God. It kills me when you call yourself that. I can't believe I get to watch you become a mom."

Kate lifts her arm to wind awkwardly around his head. It's her left side, her good side, but her whole body still contracts sharply in protest. She hisses and drops her arm again, hunkers in close instead.

"It's because of you. All of it. I never thought I'd have this. Didn't even think I would _want_ to have it."

His hands are clumsy where they sift through her hair. He really is tired, and it makes him boyish. Makes her want to mother him. Kate slides off his lap and up onto the couch instead, tugging on him until he joins her.

"I'm not even scared. When I first saw that plus sign, I figured I would be terrified, but I'm not. I'm so excited. So happy."

He's half asleep beneath her. They should move, crawl exhausted into a bed that has never been quite big enough for the two of them. Only, now that moving back home is a concrete plan, this whole apartment is suddenly unbearable.

"When do you want to go home?"

"Soon," she murmurs. His arm is around her, solid and firm as an oak branch. "Because we need to start thinking about her nursery."

That makes him come awake a little more. He blinks slowly at her. His head is bent at an awkward angle to see her, and Kate traces her fingertip along the creases of his neck.

"We could use the guest bedroom. Have Mother's old room as the new guest room?"

"Sounds perfect."

"You know I'm so excited to meet her, but I'm also really looking forward to Christmas with just the two of us this year."

Alexis and Martha both have various other plans, so they'll be popping in and out on the day itself. She's glad for it, so grateful that she and Rick will be able to have a last, quiet year before the chaos of the rest of their lives.

"Me too." Kate kisses whatever of him she can reach. Her lips land at the inside of his bicep and he shivers. "What do you think it'll be like? When she's here."

"I'll fall more and more in love with you every day." He says it so immediately that it must have already been on his mind. Must be something he's thinking about all the time. Her cheeks flood with warmth, but he continues on.

"It won't be easy. We'll be exhausted, and grumpy, and we'll probably fight. But God, Kate, just holding her. Getting to watch her grow. It's the most amazing thing in the world."

So often this summer, they've existed in silence together. At the Hamptons, there were long stretches where neither of them spoke, content to sit in their separate chairs with their fingers tangled together in the chasm between. After what happened, they were both shocked into muteness, and Kate found that so much of what she wanted to say could be told in the brush of her fingers through his hair, or in giving in and admitting that she was hurting.

"Do you know what I'm most looking forward to?" His questioning hum vibrates through her chest. "It never being quiet again."

* * *

 **Twitter:** reallybeanie

 **Tumblr:** katiehoughton


	2. Chapter 2

**December 2 - 2017**

* * *

The baby is picking up on his restlessness, and it's making her antsy as well. Rick has been pacing the loft in circles for the last half hour, Lily in his arms. She's chattering away in that babbling baby talk he loves so much. Her favourite toy of the moment, a wooden caterpillar whose legs twist and make sounds, is tight in her little fist. A couple of times she's smacked him in the face with it in her excitement.

Kate texted him thirty minutes ago to say she was leaving the precinct, which means she'll be home soon. She took a whole six months off after Lily was born, so it's only been a few weeks that she's been back at work at all. He's still figuring out how to do this without her. Not taking care of their daughter, he's got that covered, but functioning around the chasm of her absence. He constantly catches himself turning to say _did you see that?_

Every evening, she comes home to them. It's worth not having her in the daytime just to see the way Lily's whole face lights up when Kate walks through the door.

"Hey, Lilypad, wanna look at the tree?" he murmurs.

Lily smiles widely and pats his cheek. "Dada."

"That's right, sweet girl. Let's go look at the pretty lights."

He walks with her over to the tree and stops in front of it, far enough away that she can't reach to grab hold of anything. She's just starting to pull herself up to standing now, and they're both terrified that she's going to bring the whole thing down on top of herself.

"See this one? Grandpa got that for you." Rick points out the Baby's First Christmas ornament Jim had given them last week. He came by to help decorate, along with Martha and Alexis. With five adults there, they were actually able to get everything up in record time even with their eight month old crawling around the floor and grabbing for everything.

After they were done, Jim had given Kate the box with the ornament inside. It's tasteful, inscribed with Lily's name and the year. Rick taps it to make it spin around on its string and Lily gasps, transfixed by it. The tree lights reflect off of the ornament and she reaches out a tiny hand, her fingers starfished.

"No, Lilypad." Rick dwarfs her hand in his. He brings her grumpy fist to his mouth and pretends as if he's going to munch on it. She squeals with laughter and squirms in his arms. "Just for looking. No touching."

Rick dusts his lips to the dark cap of Lily's hair. Right at the crown of her head she still has that newborn smell and he breathes deeply. It makes her giggle, and then she wriggles violently in his grip. Her babbling gets louder, grouchier, and he laughs.

"Okay, okay. Here." He sets her down on the floor. She starts crawling almost before she even touches the ground, charging for the play station they got her recently. It has various levers and buttons and flashing lights, and Lily is endlessly entertained by it.

When the door opens he's on the couch, taking photos of Lily while she plays. These days his entire camera roll is full of pictures of their daughter, of her and Kate. His wife chuckles from the doorway and he whips around to see her.

"Hi. How was work?"

"Exhausting." Kate sheds her coat and steps out of her heels. Her hair spills in those attractive curls over her shoulders and she catches it up in a ponytail. "Had to discipline one of my detectives. I'm still not used to it. It's so awkward."

He gets up from the couch to meet her in the entryway. Kate leans against his chest and sighs. He kisses her forehead, gives her a minute to shed her day. When she straightens up again she's smiling. She kisses him, freezing fingers curled at his ears.

"Never mind," she says. "I'm here now."

Lily is only just noticing that Kate is home. She yells out her joy, calls for her mama over and over until Kate goes to scoop her up.

"Hi, my beautiful girl. Hey there. Did you have a good day with Daddy?"

Their daughter babbles away and Kate listens attentively, talking back to her. She keeps Lily on her hip as she moves through the loft, holding their daughter with one arm tight around her while she rummages in the refrigerator for a snack.

Lily clamours for the carrot sticks and Kate breaks one in half for her, passes it over. She's just figuring out hand-eye coordination, so her self-feeding can get quite messy, but she chomps happily on the carrot. Rick follows his wife through to the bedroom and takes Lily from her, settling on the end of the bed while Kate changes into leggings. While she gets dressed she chats to him, offering up the details of her day. Every so often, her voice rises in pitch as she responds to something Lily has garbled at her.

"Come here, baby girl." Kate scoops Lily up again and squeezes her tight. "She had any dinner?"

"Yeah, she'll just need a last bottle before bed. You hungry?"

"Starving." She says it so firmly that Lily's eyes fly to her face. A tentative hand reaches out and lands at Kate's cheek.

"I know, sweetheart. Mommy gets grumpy when she's hungry, huh?"

Kate pokes his shoulder and he snags her finger, kisses the tip of it. Her face melts into tenderness, the way it has done so many times since their daughter was born. She smoothes her thumb underneath his eye, her palm at his cheek.

"You open the calendar today?"

"Nope. Haven't burned the candle either. Waiting on you."

He found a calendar online that was perfect for Lily. It has twenty four reindeer on a garland, and each one's shiny red nose is a balloon. Every day they pop the balloon, and he and Kate have been taking it in turns to eat the chocolate inside. Rick felt cruel eating chocolate in front of their daughter, but Kate has insisted that she doesn't want her having candy until she's at least a year old.

It's her turn to get the chocolate today, which means Rick gets to be the one to burst the balloon. Kate keeps a tight hold of their daughter, far back enough that it won't explode in her face. He uses a push pin from his office and jabs it into the balloon. Lily's face goes slack with shock for just a second, and then she giggles and claps her hands and grins widely at them.

He untangles the chocolate from the rubber and pops it into Kate's mouth. Her eyes flutter closed and she hums, the very tip of her tongue darting out to touch her lips. She's so alluring, and ever since their daughter was born he's found her more beautiful every day.

"Do you want to get her ready for bed and I'll make some dinner?"

"Good plan." She rewards him with a kiss, and then she disappears upstairs with Lily.

While he cooks he can hear the sounds of bath time upstairs. Lily loves the water, loves doing her best to splash whoever it is that's bathing her. He can hear her high, happy voice and Kate's lower, more melodious one as she talks back to their baby girl.

The two of them reappear, Lily in her red and white striped onesie. She looks like a candy cane and he kisses her cheek, smelling baby shampoo and the sweetness of her beneath it. He gets a kiss from his wife as well. Her hair is piled on top of her head now, little curling tendrils escaping to frame her face. Just gorgeous. Want flares in his guts and he touches his tongue to the corner of her lips.

She moans softly and breaks apart from him. "Need help?"

"Not with dinner."

That makes her laugh, which makes Lily laugh in echo. Kate bounces the baby in her arms and leans her head in close to Lily's. "Alright, sweet girl. Let's get out of Daddy's way, huh?"

He is thoroughly distracted all the way through finishing dinner. Kate is on the couch, her feet pulled up and Lily leaning against the slope of her thighs. She makes faces at their daughter and sings to her. Lily is absolutely enthralled by Kate, has been from the moment she came red-faced and silent into the world.

Once he's done he calls Kate over to the dining table. She slides Lily into the high chair and takes her seat beside her. While they eat they appease her with little scraps of their dinner and she plays happily with her toys. Lily is just discovering that she has better control over her grip now, and her new favourite game is to drop a toy on the floor and wait for one of her parents to pick it up for her. Over and over again, but she's so delighted by it that neither of them really minds.

"Have you decided what vacation days you're gonna take?"

"I was thinking Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and then New Year's Eve and Day. Work the days in between. That okay?"

Rick reaches for her hand across the table and squeezes her fingers. "You know I want you here all the time. Those six months maternity leave were the best six months of my life. But that sounds wonderful, honey."

"You big sap," she grins at him. Her hand flips underneath his so she can lace their fingers together. Her thumb strokes slow circles at the heel of his palm and she eats with her left hand.

"Mama!"

"Yes baby?" Kate turns to see their daughter. Lily points insistently at some of the cucumber from the salad he made. "You want to try some?"

She offers it to Lily and their daughter takes it in her fist. She waves it around for a minute or so, but they're practicing letting her eat things in her own time. It goes better if she's allowed to explore it before it goes in her mouth, so they leave her to it. They continue their conversation, watching her from the corner of their eyes. When she finally crunches on it, her face lights up and she beams at them.

"Mama! Dada! Yum!"

"I'll get her some more." Rick collects the cucumber from the fridge and chops it into batons for his baby girl. She watches him from her high chair, waving her fists in delight, and when he comes back and passes the cucumber to her she claps her hands.

Kate is watching their daughter, her elbow propped against the table and her chin in the bowl of her palm. "She's so perfect, Rick. How did we get so lucky?"

"Of course she's perfect with you as her mom." He sinks into the chair next to Kate's and wraps his arm around her shoulders. She's warm and soft and she leans against him. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Just- I miss her. Both of you. Work is good, I still love it, but it's not everything anymore. It hasn't been for a really long time."

He studies her for a long moment. "Are you in pain today?"

"Yeah. How'd you know?"

"Makes you maudlin." She laughs, and then she lays her head against his shoulder. "Put her down after this, and then you can take a bath or something?"

"Good plan."

"And Kate? You don't ever need to miss us. Just say the word and we'll come bring you lunch or something."

Lily starts to fuss now that she's finished with her cucumber. Kate plucks her from the high chair and snuggles her close, murmuring something into the shell of her ear. Their daughter is, as always, thrilled to be getting cuddles with Mommy. Rick tightens his arms around his wife's shoulders, keeping both of his girls close.

Everyone seems to think it's hilarious that Rick spends most of his time surrounded by women, but he wouldn't have it any other way. These two dark haired beauties, and Alexis and his mother, are his whole world. Something about the holiday season makes him especially grateful for all the blessings life has brought him.

"Hey?" Kate's elbow nudges against his side. "Help me put her down?"

She's already standing, heading for the stairs, but he has to stay where he is for a moment longer. He's struck by how incredibly lucky he is, and when she turns back to him with an eyebrow arched he can only smile.

"Right behind you, Kate."


	3. Chapter 3

**December 3 - 2018**

* * *

Kate thought it would be fun to get out of the loft this afternoon. She took a half day at work, because she's captain and she can do that now. They're winding through the streets of their city, the sidewalks crowded with tourists and New Yorkers alike. The cold is a copper taste in her throat and the skin of her face feels pulled taut. Lily sits high on Rick's shoulders, her hands fisted tight in his hair, and Kate walks beside them.

"Mommy! Look, Santa!" their daughter calls out.

Across the street, a collection of Santas with charity buckets are gathered outside of a building. They're dividing up the city, figuring out where each of them is going to go. Kate's startled eyes fly to Rick's and he shrugs. Lily doesn't seem bothered that there's more than one Santa Claus here, so Kate's not about to make a fuss.

"Santa! Hi, Santa!" their daughter calls out. A few of the guys turn and wave at her and she giggles, suddenly shy. Her hat is slipping off again and Kate catches it before it can fall in the slush beneath their feet. She tucks it into her pocket, but Lily whines and tries to grab for it.

"What's wrong, sweet girl?"

"Cold, Mommy. Lily's hat."

She flops backwards off of Rick's shoulders. Kate catches her, but the falling weight of her daughter against her chest knocks the breath out of her with an _oof_. Rick herds them out of the flow of traffic and Kate manages to set Lily on her feet. Hands free, she rubs at her sternum and breathes slowly past the shock of it.

"Okay, honey?" his rich, dark voice comes right at her ear. There's a flint of adrenaline in it and she nods, straightens up.

"Good. Yeah."

He's got a hand fisted in the hood of Lily's jacket and she tugs fiercely against his grip. After a minute, she seems to realise they're not moving on just yet and she sags instead. Her knees come close to hitting the ground but Rick lifts her instead, tucking her in close against his body to shelter her.

"What's wrong, little Grinch?"

"Not a grinch," she says fiercely. Lily rubs her eyes and sags against her father's chest. She's exhausted, overstimulated by being out in the city.

Kate steps in close and lays her palm against the curve of her daughter's skull. Leaning in, she dusts her lips to Lily's cheek. They stay like that for a long moment, the three of them huddled tight and tucked in against the facade of an office building. Rick has his arms around them both.

He's always been protective of her, always had her back. It was one of the first things about him that Kate fell in love with. Since Lily was born almost two years ago, she's seen a whole new side to her husband. He's still goofy and so much fun, but his whole world now is about keeping the two of them safe and happy.

"How about we stop for some hot cocoa?" he suggests. He had Lily up on his shoulders for half an hour, and a tight line of pain has appeared along the column of his neck.

They find a cafe, a little tucked away place they've visited a few times before. Kate leaves her family to get settled while she orders for everyone. She gets a peppermint mocha each for herself and for Rick, and she orders a kids' hot chocolate. It comes piled high with cream and marshmallows. When she heads back to the table with it Lily's face lights up and she lunges.

"Whoa there, sweet girl. Let Mommy sit down." Rick bands an arm tight around their daughter's waist. She wails and fights his grip, but he whispers something to her that makes her giggle instead.

These last couple of months, Lily has been testing the boundaries of what she can get away with. She's still their curious, smart baby girl. Only now, she has a fiercely independent streak that makes her difficult to reason with a lot of the time. Every time they catch her with her face scrunched up and her arms crossed, Rick laughs and says it's the Beckett in her. It doesn't help that Kate's father seconds that idea whenever he's around.

Kate sheds her coat and drapes it over the back of her chair, unwinding her scarf as well. It's toasty warm in this little cafe and she huffs a breath as she sits down. Rick has managed to get himself and Lily out of their coats and scarves as well. He's wearing a burgundy sweater today and the sleeves are pushed up to his elbows. Kate works her tongue around her suddenly dry mouth and focuses on her daughter instead.

"You need to be careful, Lilypad. It's hot. You have to blow on it."

She pushes the drink across the table towards Lily, still sitting in Rick's lap. She's resting back against his chest now. Every so often she pats his forearm mindlessly where it crosses her stomach. Her face puffs up like a fish and she blows so hard that the whipped cream spatters all over Lily, Rick, and the table. Her startled eyes dart to Kate to gauge her reaction and Kate grins at her daughter.

"Maybe a bit less hard, sweet girl." Castle has the diaper bag out already and he hunts inside for wet wipes. He's got a blob of cream on the tip of his nose and Kate laughs, shaking her head at him. "Here, I got you."

She comes around the table and cleans them both up. Once she's done, she kisses each of their pink, wind-chapped cheeks. Lily reaches for her and Rick lets her go, handing her over to Kate instead. When she's settled in her mother's lap she yawns widely. Kate sifts her absent-minded fingers through Lily's hair.

"What was your favourite thing we saw today?"

"Cracker."

"The nutcracker?"

They had taken a walk down Fifth Avenue to let Lily see the window displays. It had been worth fighting against the flow of tourists to see their daughter gasp in amazement at each new display, her face pressed to the glass. At Saks they had an animatronic nutcracker figure in the window. He must have been as tall as Kate, and his mouth opened and closed over and over again. Lily had been enthralled, so close to the window that her breath fogged up the glass.

"We could look for a mini version of him to have at home. Would you like that?" Rick glances at Kate to make sure that she doesn't mind, and she smiles back at him. He spoils their daughter, but Kate can hardly blame him. She is just as guilty, comes home just as often with a little gift for their baby girl.

When they were shot and she lay bleeding out on the floor of their home, she thought that was it. She felt her husband's pulse, thready and failing in his wrist, and she knew it was over for them both. To be here now, both of them carrying their pain like an albatross around their necks but with their happy, healthy baby girl, feels like a miracle.

"Yay, Daddy! We have cracker."

Lily tips her head back to share her joy with Kate and she kisses the end of her daughter's nose. It's warmed up now, not quite so pink. Rick chose a table by the window so that they can see out into the street. Lily watches people hurrying by, their chins tucked down into their coats in protection.

"It might be okay to drink now sweetheart. Let's see." Kate scoops up some of the hot chocolate onto a spoon and holds it out for Lily. She slurps it noisily, getting chocolate all over her mouth.

"Not hot, Mommy."

"Alright then. Carefully, Lilypad. Both hands on your cup."

Lily gets her little fingers around the twin handles of the mug and lifts it to her mouth. They both watch her for a moment, but once it's clear that she can manage they leave her to it.

"It's so dark already," Rick says. He's almost finished with his coffee now, and it frees his hands to play with Kate's fingers on the tabletop. "It's not even six."

"Beautiful though."

From their vantage point they can see all the way down the block. Every building has Christmas decorations displayed, lights twinkling brightly. The snow from a few days ago lines the edges of the sidewalk in sludge. If you don't stray too close to the edge there's just the crisp, firm bite of the ground beneath your feet.

"It's so fun this year. Last year was great, but she didn't really have a clue what was going on. She gets the excitement a bit more now."

Kate flips her hand beneath his and threads their fingers together. Rick has so many plans for the rest of the holiday season. They're going to visit a grotto, go carolling, maybe even a carriage ride. It does seem a bit silly when Lily probably won't remember any of it, but they can't help themselves.

"Mommy, yum," Lily pipes up from Kate's lap. She's finished her hot chocolate, only the last dregs swimming at the bottom of the mug. Her face is filthy and Rick passes another wipe over to Kate so she can get their daughter cleaned up.

"Do you want me to call the car service, or did you want to get the subway home?"

Some small, girlish part of her wants to walk for a little longer. The magic of the season and this city fills her up, makes her chest feel warm and at peace. Lily is exhausted though, and neither of them has the energy to carry her any more.

"Car, I think."

He has already pulled out his phone and he calls the service, talks briefly to them. "Ten minutes."

"Perfect."

They busy themselves getting back into their coats and scarves. Kate still has Lily's hat in her pocket and she puts it back on her head instead, making sure to tuck it down over the tops of her ears. By the time they're ready to go and they've bussed their table the car is waiting outside for them.

Rick's drivers have car seats for Lily now and Kate straps her in, kissing her warm cheek before she heads around the car and slides in the other side. Rick's wide palm covers her knee and he squeezes. He's been needy recently, clingy, but she finds that she doesn't mind anymore. She married this man, loves him with her full heart.

"Thanks for spending the afternoon with us, Kate," he murmurs.

As always, Lily has fallen asleep almost the second she was strapped into her car seat. Her head lolls against the side of it, her little mouth open. Her long lashes cast shadows at her cheeks. In her sleep she reaches out and wraps her hand around Kate's index finger. For the rest of the journey home she holds on tight.

Kate carries Lily upstairs, letting Rick take charge of the diaper bag and her messenger bag. He gets the front door open and holds it wide so she can carry their sleepy girl inside the loft.

"She hasn't had dinner, or I'd just put her straight to bed."

The warm, sleepy weight of the baby at her chest is making Kate exhausted too. She sinks carefully down to sit on the couch, manoeuvring very slowly until they're both comfortable. Kate strokes her fingertips in slow circles over Lily's back and sings softly to her until she blinks awake.

"Hi there, beautiful girl. We're home. Are you hungry?"

Lily scrunches her face up and hides against Kate's chest. A little mewl escapes her and Kate laughs. Getting to her feet again, she carries Lily through to the kitchen and settles at the island with her so the two of them can watch what Rick is doing.

"Daddy? What have?"

"I'm making a stir fry. With all your favourite veggies."

"Noodles?" she perks up immediately, sitting straight on Kate's lap and planting her hands on the countertop.

Rick laughs loudly and points his spatula at their daughter. "That's right, baby girl. Noodles too."

Lily cheers and then she babbles away to her father. Kate stays quiet to listen to the two of them, the rich adoration that exists between father and daughter. Every day, she's so grateful that Lily gets to have Rick as her daddy. It amazes her, how good he is at this. And now, almost two years in, she's starting to believe that she's not half bad herself.


	4. Chapter 4

**December 4 - 2019**

* * *

"Okay baby girl. Quietly. Shh." Rick holds his finger up to his lips and Lily copies him. Her eyes are alight with mirth, her dark hair in two pigtails that swing when she bounces on the spot. She was grumbly this morning, missing Kate, so he distracted her with a master plan.

He got up at four thirty with Lily because she had a nightmare and she couldn't fall back to sleep. She's shaken it off now, as quietly cheerful as ever, but the ghost of it still haunts him. His little girl, mewling in his arms and trembling with terror. Calling out for her mother, and if Kate finds out she might kill him, but she needs to rest. It's the same dream Lily has been having for weeks now. Something happening to Mommy or the babies. He does his best to soothe her, and most of the time he manages to get her to fall back to sleep, but not today.

Rick nudges open the door to their bedroom with his shoulder. He's got the tray in both hands, and Lily has the vase with the little bunch of primrose inside it. The blinds are slatted open to let the crisp winter light come sharply inside the room. Kate is propped up against the headboard. When she sees them she smiles widely and opens her arms to Lily.

Their daughter clambers up onto the bed and crawls in with Kate, curling around the swell of her stomach. She's twenty seven weeks now, and almost as big as she was when she was full term with Lily. The doctor wants to induce her early. Her age makes it a risky pregnancy anyway, and when added to the fact of two babies and Kate's long-suffering body, her obstetrician wants to get the boys out as soon as possible.

"Morning guys," Kate smiles.

She's had to massively reduce her activity level, because their sons are sucking the life out of her from the inside. Since the day the test came back positive she's been exhausted, and there's been no energy spike like there was with Lily. His wife is beautiful, and he loves seeing her pregnant, but he can't wait for these boys to be born so she can get her life back.

"Morning, gorgeous." Rick sets the breakfast tray down on the nightstand and perches on the edge of the mattress. He leans in to kiss his wife and Lily groans, flopping onto her back and flinging a hand over her eyes. "Sorry Lilypad. We're done being gross."

"I"m not done," Kate says darkly. She fists a hand in the collar of his shirt and arches her neck, opening her mouth against his. He has to break apart from her on a gasp, and then she gets that coyly satisfied smile he sees so often.

"Mommy, we did make you pancakes," Lily grins widely. She gets to her knees in their bed and lifts up, hovering over Kate. "My brothers are hungry?"

"Your brothers are always hungry."

"Even there is strawberries," Lily says earnestly. She looks utterly adorable today in a dress and woollen tights. Her hair is starting to get long and thick enough now that they can style it. He's always been fairly decent, since he had to learn for Alexis, but Kate loves having that mommy-daughter time so much that he rarely gets to be the one to do so.

Kate reaches for the tray and balances it awkwardly on her thighs. While she eats she shares mouthfuls with Lily and with Rick. He comes around the bed to climb in at his own side and he draws Lily into his lap. She always wants to be close to her mother, wants to climb all over her, so the bump has made things difficult.

"What are your plans for today, sweet girl?"

Kate sets the tray aside now that she's done eating and she opens her arms to their daughter. Lily tucks herself in close and closes her eyes. Since Kate really started showing and the arrival of her new baby brothers became concrete, Lily has been clingier than usual. She's quiet, and fiercely independent, but these days she tends to silently seek out Kate. It's as if she's trying to get as much one on one time in as possible before she has to share her mother for the rest of her life.

"Daddy say we can make a ginger house."

"Oh, that's right," he chuckles. "I got one of those kits. Thought it'd be fun, and you can join in too. Sit at the island."

Kate narrows her eyes at him. He's trying so hard not to baby her, not to make her feel useless, but he can't help himself. He's protective of the people he loves, and whether she likes it or not Kate is pretty vulnerable these days.

"I'm not an invalid."

"Honey." It comes out more patronising than he really meant it to and she scowls. "Sorry. But- I had to help you out of the bathtub last week because you didn't have the energy."

She sighs and rakes an aggressive hand through her hair. He's doing all he can not to let this pregnancy break Kate's spirit, but it hasn't been easy for any of them.

"You're right. Gotta come to terms with it someday, huh?"

"Not much longer now until we get to meet them."

They must recognise his voice. Kate snags his hand and guides it to rest against her stomach. Something nudges against his palm, an elbow maybe, or a little foot. This is his third time around but he is still so awed and humbled to feel his child move inside his wife's belly.

"Daddy, we make it now?"

"Not just yet sweet girl. How about we save that for this afternoon?"

He braces for a tantrum but it never comes. They've been so lucky. So much of the time Lily is a happy, content little girl of almost three. He's not sure how much that will change when she has to vie with twin baby boys for their attention.

They spend a lazy morning with just the three of them. Rick keeps Lily occupied so that Kate can take her time in the shower and getting dressed. She comes into the living room wearing makeup and a dress, looking brighter than she has in days.

"Hi." Rick greets her, sliding his arms around her waist as best he can. "You're so beautiful."

"Thanks." Her cheeks flood with lovely colour and she kisses him to hide it. Her body is pressed so close to his that he can feel the alien movements of their boys. When she breaks apart from him she smoothes her thumb over his bottom lip. "You look pretty delectable yourself."

"Mommy, what's 'lectable?" Lily pipes up. She's sitting on top of the island playing with her building blocks, but her curious eyes are on the two of them.

Kate heads for the counter and props her elbows on it, leaning in until she can kiss Lily's cheek. "It means I think Daddy looks very handsome."

He feels himself puffing up with silly pride, but he is totally helpless to stop it. He turned fifty this year, so yeah. It's good to hear that Kate still wants him, still finds him attractive. Whenever he voices those worries, she huffs and rolls her eyes and tells him _well I let you knock me up again, didn't I_?

Once Lily is content to carry on with her blocks, Kate turns back to him. She lays her palms flat against his chest and he luxuriates in the warmth of her body close to his.

"You also look exhausted. What time did she have you up?"

"After four."

"But before five." Kate sighs and glances at their girl. "Nightmare?"

He settles his hands at her shoulders, his thumb absent-mindedly digging into the knot of tension she's been carrying at the base of her neck for years. "Yeah. It's okay though. She's forgotten all about it."

"But you haven't, have you." She studies him, and he lays it all bare for her to see. Kate is captain of the precinct now, but she's still the detective he fell for. She still knows him. "Go take a nap for an hour or two. I've got her."

Part of him wants to argue, but the second that the possibility of sleep emerges on the horizon his whole body crashes towards it. His knees almost give out. He kisses her, allowing his gratitude to diffuse into the touch of his mouth to hers.

"Wake me if you need anything."

When he emerges grumbling and disoriented into the afternoon, his girls are playing with dolls. Kate is on the floor, her back resting against the couch and her legs stretched out in front of her. Lily's Barbie dream house is next to her, and their daughter makes her dolls talk to each other. For a moment Rick lingers in the doorway watching. Every so often Lily passes a doll over to Kate and she makes it talk back, putting on a different voice for each character. Lily seems mostly content just to have her mother close.

Kate catches sight of him and her whole face breaks open with light. "Hey, sleepyhead. Good nap?"

"I needed it," he confesses.

He's not a big fan of naps that involve sleeping. They always make him feel like he's moving outside of time for a few hours afterwards. No, he much prefers the naps that he and Kate used to have when they were newlyweds. She would sometimes bunk work for a few hours in the afternoon and come find him at his old PI office. He misses that excitement, but there's something to be said for the easy familiarity of their day to day.

"How are my girls?" He comes to sit on the floor beside Kate.

"We're great. Your sons, however, are practicing their acrobatics. Which is good, but I wish they weren't using my ribs as a trapeze."

Rick makes a sympathetic noise and wraps his arm around her shoulders. She leans into him immediately and her eyes flutter closed. "You're tired."

"I'm always tired. Worth it to spend time with the munchkin."

He lets it drop. As much as he would like to insist that she go and get some rest, she looks healthier and happier today than he's seen her in a while. She needs the activity just as much as she needs sleep.

"I was thinking. Maybe this afternoon we could get out of the loft for a bit. Go for a walk?"

"Absolutely."

They sit in comfortable silence and watch their daughter play for a while. She seems to remember the promise of the gingerbread house quite suddenly and she jerks upright, pointing her finger at him. "Daddy, we make a house now?"

"Sure."

He scoops her up and carries her through to the kitchen, settling her in one of the barstools. It takes her a while, but Kate comes to sit beside their daughter. Rick busies himself fetching the kit he bought and mixing up the frosting. He chose a kit that came with the biscuits pre-made, because it seemed easier. Maybe in a few years they'll try making the gingerbread for themselves, but not this time.

Kate has to step in to help the house stay standing because Lily gets frustrated and balls up her little fists. Once it's structurally sound though, she has great fun decorating the outside of the house with frosting and candy. She offers one of the roof panels to Kate and Rick to decorate and they work together to make an intricate pattern.

"It looks beautiful, Lilypad," Kate says once they're finished. The house does look wonderful, in that eclectic way only a toddler can truly pull off.

"We can show Grandpa?"

Rick pulls out his phone to take a picture, but Kate stops him. "How about we call Grandpa and see if he wants to come over for dinner. Then he can see your masterpiece in person."

"Yay, Grandpa come for dinner!"

"Call Alexis as well? And Martha if she's not busy?" Kate murmurs to him. "I want to spend the evening with our family."

He's so smitten with her, so endlessly grateful that this woman is his wife. For a moment he can't even speak. Kate laughs and kisses the slack awe off his mouth, and then he's able to remember his basic motor functions and call their family.

All three of them are available and excited at the prospect of coming over. Lily spends the rest of the afternoon whizzing around the loft, her little body so full up with joy that she can't contain it. It means that Kate can be involved, but settled comfortably on the couch. Rick is glad for this last, easy Christmas before their twins are here. Even so, under everything he does is a thread of electric excitement.

Kate Beckett is giving him sons.

* * *

 **A/N:** It's been brought to my attention that some of you are missing my updates because when they're within 24 hours it doesn't show up on the main page. I appreciate not everyone has an account here and so can put the story on alert. I am tweeting links to chapters as they're posted, and I'm updating at the same time every day so if it's easier you can figure out what time that is for you and just check and a new chapter will be there :) Thank you for all of your wonderful support and kind words!


	5. Chapter 5

**December 5 - 2020**

* * *

"Hey, sorry I'm late," Kate crashes breathlessly through the door. She's got a paper bag stuffed with groceries in one arm, her messenger bag slung over her opposite shoulder. Rick texted her right as she was leaving the precinct with a list of stuff to pick up at the store. Somehow, they always seem to run out of everything at once, and it's easier for Kate to get what they need than for him to lug three kids to the store.

"You're here now." Her husband meets her in the entryway with a kiss. He takes the groceries from her, freeing her up to get out of her layers. They keep the loft pretty warm, so she's sweating in her wool coat and thick scarf.

Kate hangs everything in the hall closet out of the way and goes in search of her babies. The boys are strapped into their high chairs, pulled around the counter so that Rick can keep an eye on them. When they see her their faces light up.

"Mama, Mama!" Reece calls out to her, and Jake waves his fists. They haven't heard any real words from him yet. So far, Reece does all of the talking for the pair, but they're not worried. Jake babbles away to his brother in their secret twin language, and he communicates well enough with the rest of them without needing words.

"Hi, beautiful boys." Kate leans over them and kisses their cheeks one at a time. "Have you been good for your daddy today?"

"Mommy's home!" a triumphant voice rings out, and a second later Lily comes skidding into the kitchen. She's got her hair in two braids today that hang over her shoulders. She holds out her arms and Kate scoops her up, snuggling her close.

There's so much noise in their life now. Rick starts unpacking the bag of groceries and putting things away, Lily chatters in her ear about her day and the boys babble loudly. Kate settles at the island with her daughter and listens attentively to her stories. Daddy took the three of them to the park — brave man — and she went down the slide head first, apparently.

Rick loves getting out into the city with them. Their kids are beautiful, and she's seen so often how pride puffs up his chest and makes his eyes bright. He loves when strangers stop him to compliment their handsome baby boys and their lovely girl.

"Let me put you down, Lilypad. Mommy needs to help Daddy."

She goes easily enough and Kate comes around the island to stand at her husband's side. A palm settled between his shoulder blades, she leans in close to smell the musk of him. Winter clings to his skin and she breathes deeply.

"What can I do?"

"Wanna chop carrots?"

"Sure." Kate takes up the knife and chops the carrots into chunks. The boys are starting to have a little bit of what everyone else is having for dinner and they watch with interest as their parents cook. Lily is off in the living room playing a game that seems to involve driving her Barbie Jeep into the bottom of the couch over and over again.

"How were they today?"

Rick takes the chopping board from her and tips the carrots into the pot with the meat sauce. "Good. Small tantrum from Lily when it was time to come home from the park, but we worked through it. Boys are great. Loved the swings today."

"And how are you?" Kate nudges her way in between his body and the counter. Winding her arms around his neck, she sifts her fingers through the soft hair at his nape.

"I'm great." He darts in close to steal a kiss from her. He's been tasting their dinner and Kate hums, opening her mouth to the touch of his tongue. When they break apart he tucks her hair back behind her ears. "Boys might need changing."

The twins grin widely and squirm in their seats when Kate approaches them. She scoops Reece out of his chair first and palms the curve of his skull, rocking slightly with him.

"Hi there, peanut. I missed you guys today." She manoeuvres him onto her hip and manages to pick Jake up as well. He nuzzles in close immediately and Kate dusts her lips to his smooth forehead. "Come on then. Let's get you all fresh for dinner."

Kate heads upstairs with the boys and settles them down on their twin changing mats. They kick their feet and beam up at her. For a moment she has to stop where she is and take in just how lucky she is to be alive and here in this moment. So many times, she and Rick came close to having it all snatched away, and now here they are.

"Mama," Reece calls out to her. She shakes her head and leans over him, undoing the poppers of his onesie so she can blow a raspberry against his round little belly. He squeals and squirms and she laughs back at him. Kate gets a clean diaper on him and fastens his onesie again, leaving him where she is while she changes Jake as well.

He's quieter than his brother, easier to handle. He manoeuvres his legs to help her get him changed. Once she's finished Kate kisses the tip of his nose and he blinks, a tiny hand landing at her cheek.

"Come here, my sweet boy." She scoops him up and cradles him close until Reece squawks in indignation. Kate lifts him up as well and carries the two of them back downstairs.

Rick has set the table and Lily is sitting at her place, patiently waiting for her food. The high chairs are back in position at the table and Kate gets the boys settled. She makes to help Rick but he waves her off and tells her to sit down, he's almost done. A moment later he sets their dinner down in the middle of the table and serves everyone.

It's messy, as every meal is with them. After they've eaten it takes them a while to clean the table and wipe down the three smiling faces of their children. They're a well-practiced team by now, so it's fairly painless. Once they're done Kate leaves Rick to get everyone settled in for the evening. She takes a quick shower to wash the precinct off her skin.

"Mommy has her stretchy pants," Lily giggles when Kate emerges. Her brothers copy her, the two of them bubbling over with mirth despite the fact that they have no idea what the joke is. Lily plucks at the cotton of Kate's yoga pants to watch it snap back into place.

"Nice PJs, Lilypad," Kate grins back. Lily looks down at her reindeer pajamas and grins widely, doing a little wiggle on the spot to show them off.

Kate settles on the floor with her back against the couch. The boys are in their two bouncers, amusing themselves with the various levers and dials on the front. "Where's Daddy?"

"I'm here," his voice rings out from the cupboard beneath the stairs. After a minute he emerges with a box of festive stationery. "Lilypad says she's ready to write her letter for Santa."

Their daughter is on the floor beside Kate, her legs stretched out in front of her in echo of her mother. Rick comes to sit on her other side and he opens the box. There are a couple of different types of letterhead and matching envelopes, as well as a set of postage stamps that will apparently take the letter all the way to the North Pole.

Lily flips around to lie on her stomach on the floor. She dictates to Rick what she wants to say to Santa and he writes it out for her on a scrap piece of paper, the letters separated and clear. Their daughter's little face scrunches up in concentration as she copies down what her father has written onto the fancy paper. Rick left off her name at the end of his version. She's been learning how to write it herself in the past few weeks, and she gets it right.

"Mommy, I did it," she turns over her shoulder to beam at Kate.

"You did, my sweet girl. What a kind letter. Santa is going to be so glad to receive it."

Lily passes the letter over to Rick so that he can fold it for her. She stuffs it into the envelope herself and writes Santa's name on the front. While she affixes the stamp her tongue pokes out past her lips and when she manages it she lets out a yell of triumph.

"Mommy?" Lily sits upright and passes the envelope over to her mother for safekeeping. "How will Santa know what to get for my brothers?"

From the corner of her eye Kate catches the flit of amusement across her husband's face and she steadfastly refuses to look at him. "Well, baby girl. You know how Santa's elves watch all the boys and girls to see whether they're being naughty or nice?"

Lily darts a glance over towards the staircase as if she's expecting to see a pointy-faced little man in a green hat keeping a careful eye on her. "Uh-huh."

"Well when there are babies in a house, the elves report back to Santa and they tell him that there are children who are too young to write to him, but they still deserve to get a gift."

"Oh." Lily deflates, crestfallen. Her bottom lip wavers.

Kate looks to her husband for help, but Rick seems just as clueless as she is. He shrugs at her, his mouth turning down at the corners.

"Come here, baby." Kate opens her arms to their daughter. Lily climbs into her lap and lays her head against Kate's chest. "What's wrong?"

"I did want to write to Santa and tell him about my brothers. I not want him to forget them."

All of the breath leaves her body in one great rush. Kate can only close her eyes and hide her face in Lily's hair. Their sweet, tender-hearted girl. Everybody says she's like Kate, but she knows the truth. Lily is all Rick, all enormous heart and warmth, brimming over with kindness.

"You can write to Santa, Lilypad," Rick pipes up. Kate lifts her head and is so grateful to find that he looks just as struck down with gratitude as she feels. "You can tell him all about Jake and Reece and what kind of toys you think they'd like the best."

She perks up at that, but she stays in Kate's arms while she dictates her letter to her father. While Lily speaks, Kate watches her sons. Reece bounces happily, spinning one of the blocks on his chair around and around. Jake is more still, content to watch his brother. Every so often he turns to see her and he smiles, showing off his new teeth.

Rick constantly tells her how grateful he is for their boys, how amazing it is to be a father to sons. She feels the same, so in love with their two goofy babies. Neither of them dared to imagine quite how good a big sister Lily would be. They're both only children, didn't know what to expect when it came to siblings, but Lily has blossomed under the new responsibilities that come with having two baby brothers.

Lily is even more careful with her second letter. She writes that Jake likes his stuffed octopus more than anything in the world, so maybe a different sea creature for it to be friends with would be a good gift. For Reece, she asks Santa for the noisiest toy he has. Kate snorts and narrows her eyes at her husband, jabbing him with her index finger when he pretends not to see.

"Ouch, hey."

"Mommy, don't 'stract Daddy. He helping me."

"Right. Sorry, baby." Kate shuts her mouth and folds her hands neatly in her lap. She knows that Rick will probably buy both of the suggestions tomorrow just to see the joy on Lily's face when she gets proof on Christmas morning that Santa read her letter.

Once she's done and the letter is sealed up in the envelope she goes to tell her brothers all about Santa and how magical he is. As always, both boys are held in rapt attention by their sister. Their eyes follow her every move and when she smiles they smile right back at her.

"God, Rick," Kate breathes. He grapples for her hand and squeezes tightly. The two of them are still on the floor of the loft, and it feels humbling. "It's so good."


	6. Chapter 6

**December 6 - 2021**

* * *

"No Daddy!" Reece wails at him. His son is stiff as a board, arcing up out of his car seat. Jake and Lily are already strapped in and they both peer around the edges of their own seats to watch their brother's tantrum. Rick's son hates confinement, hates having anything buckled across his chest. Every time they put him in the car it's a battle of wills.

"Reece James," Rick says firmly. "You need to sit in your seat now. We're going to be late to meet Mommy and your sister."

He's not sure that Reece cares much about that right now, but Rick doesn't want to leave his wife and eldest daughter waiting in this wretched weather. After another minute of furious shrieking Reece sags, defeated. Rick snaps the belt closed across his chest and slams the door. He has to take a moment to collect himself before he can slide into the driver's seat.

Their boys aren't even two yet, and they're already getting a taste of Reece's stubbornness. Jake is quieter, but he can be just as difficult when he feels like it. Rick is exhausted just getting them from the loft to the car and safely buckled in.

From the driver's seat he checks on his children in the rearview mirror. Lily looks close to sleep already and the car hasn't even started moving yet. On her left, Reece is red-faced and silent with a rage he's too young to know how to handle properly. Rick does everything right, offers compromise after compromise to his son, but it hardly seems to matter. On Lily's right, Jake catches Rick's eye and waves at him.

"See Mama, Daddy?"

"That's right, my man. We're going to meet Mommy and Alexis. Everybody ready?"

He doesn't wait for an answer. Rick backs the car out of the parking spot and joins the flow of city traffic. The snow has made everything so much more difficult. It's beautiful, and this evening is going to be magical, but getting there is hellish. He almost wishes he'd taken the subway, but with three kids under five that's even more difficult. He mutters under his breath, checking in the mirror every so often to make sure his kids aren't learning any colourful new additions to their vocabulary.

When he eventually finds a parking spot not too far from the park relief floods his system. Kate texted him to say that she's already here, so he stays where he is and calls her.

"Hey, babe." Just her voice on the other end of the phone makes him immediately calmer. "You here?"

"Found a spot off 59th. We'll be there in ten."

"You _drove_?" Kate gasps. He opens his mouth to explain himself but she laughs and carries on. "Alright. Well, see you in a few then."

Rick hangs up the phone and twists in his chair to see his kids. It makes the pain that lies dormant in his chest flare into life and he grunts. Jake's watchful eyes are on him and he smiles for his son. "Okay guys, ready for our adventure?"

He gets a chorus of cheers. Even Reece seems to have forgotten his anger entirely. The pure joy on their three little faces washes him clean of his frustration. He loves these kids so much, even when they're uncooperative and exhausting.

"When we get out of the car, I want everybody to stay close and listen to exactly what I say, okay?"

"Yes Daddy," he gets from Lily, and the boys nod solemnly.

Rick steps out of the car and is immediately assaulted by the bitterness of this winter. The snow is still falling. It drifts down in fat flakes that cling to his hair and the lapel of his coat. Rick opens the sidewalk side door and unfastens Jake's belt. He lifts his son down from the SUV and sets him on his feet. He gets Lily out as well and leaves her in charge of Jake. It's safer to climb into the back of the car and unhook Reece, have him climb across, so he does just that.

"Daddy, you're squished," Reece giggles. Rick does look pretty comical crammed into the back of the car and he shares the laughter with his son.

Once they're all out he does a quick inventory to make sure everyone's got their hat, scarf and gloves. Satisfied, Rick herds his family down the street towards the park. He spots Kate at the entrance and all three kids charge at their mother, almost knocking her down when they crash into her legs.

Kate crouches down in the snow and opens her arms to them, pressing noisy kisses to every piece of bare skin she can reach. When she straightens up again her cheeks are flushed and her smile so wide. She has little lines at the corners of her eyes now, creases of mirth that he's lucky enough to see growing deeper every day.

"Hey." She extends a hand towards him. He takes it and lets her reel him in until she can press her happy mouth to his. "Okay?"

"Great," he assures her. His gloved fingers are clumsy but he cups the back of his wife's neck and keeps her close for a minute. "Alexis here yet?"

Kate steals a last kiss from him and then steps away. Their kids are like wild things released from captivity and they careen around, bouncing off one another.

"She's paying. Insisted. She says it's her Christmas gift to us."

Rick turns to see a flash of red hair amidst the snow. His daughter is over by the line of waiting carriages, talking to the driver. Kate takes one of the boys' hands in each of hers and leads them over to their sister, Rick and Lily following right behind her.

"Hi Dad." Alexis kisses his cheek when they reach her. The kids descend on her immediately and Alexis laughs, scooping Lily up for cuddles and standing tall through the boys' affectionate head butts. "You guys excited?"

"Maybe a bit too excited," Rick huffs.

Kate hooks her arm through his and jostles him. "Don't be grouchy."

"I'm not grouchy." Really, he's not. Taking care of the kids all day is tough, but it's worth it to have these moments. There are three adults now, four if you count Lily, which he often does. This evening is going to be magical. "Let's get going."

Their driver indicates for them to get into the carriage and they pile inside. It has a roof so they'll be sheltered from the snow and he passes them some blankets to tuck over their laps. Rick and Alexis sit with Lily in between them and Kate settles opposite, the boys on either side of her.

The moment the carriage starts moving the faces of all three children light up. They're transfixed, beaming at their parents and Alexis as the horse makes its slow way around the park. Reece wants to wriggle, as always, but Kate snags him and holds him tight in her lap.

As they ride their driver tells them various stories about the park. Lily almost topples out of the carriage when they roll past Wollman Rink and Rick has to fist a hand in the back of her coat. It's magical at night with the lights of the city reflecting off the ice. Couples skate hand in hand and Rick shares a glance with his wife, remembering a time before their kids were born when they would skate until they could hardly stand.

"Daddy, can we go skating?"

"Maybe in a few years when your brothers are old enough, baby girl."

"I could take her," Alexis offers. Lily climbs back into her seat and lays her cheek to her sister's shoulder.

From the moment Alexis first held her baby sister in the hospital the two have been absolutely smitten with each other. Alexis had whispered her thanks to Kate for giving her a sister, giving her a family, and Rick had sunk into a chair, speechless.

Both girls are looking to Kate for permission and she nods, her smile soft and tender. "That would be wonderful, Alexis. Thank you."

"Let's do it then."

Lily swings her legs in joy and wraps both of her arms around Alexis's bicep. She's only four years old, but pleasure makes her look so grown up. Rick has a sudden flash of what it's going to be like in ten years, twenty. His first baby and his baby girl will always have each other. And all of it, everything he has, is because of Kate.

His eyes find hers and she smiles as if she knows. Maybe she does. She's always been so wise. A part of him wishes he was next to her in the carriage so he could hold her hand. She's got their sons on either side of her, Reece chattering away and Jake occasionally getting a word in edgeways. And he has his daughters. This way works too.

By the time the carriage ride draws to a close the six of them are frozen stiff, but giggling and tipsy with snow-blindness. Kate helps the boys down from the carriage while Rick tips their driver generously. The guy asks Lily if she'd like to feed the horse and the beast eats a handful of oats right out of her hand.

"Mommy, his fur is so soft," she turns to Kate, her face alive with wonder.

Jake is beginning to whine and he extends his hands to Rick. He scoops up his son and Jake snuggles in close. The night is quiet and crisp, the snow still falling. Alexis has Reece's hand in hers, Kate and Lily have their heads bent together while they chat about the horse. He swears he hears his wife tell Lily that Daddy will buy her a pony if she wants and he grunts, but Alexis interrupts.

"Do you wanna go eat somewhere?"

"Eat, eat!" Reece yells, hopping from foot to foot. Everybody laughs and he glances around at them, pride making him look just like Rick.

Kate hooks her arm through Alexis's, her other hand in Lily's. "Sounds like a yes, huh?"

They find a restaurant near the park because Rick doesn't want to stray too far from the car and have to trek back to it afterwards. He notices how the waitress balks when she sees the six of them come spilling inside, especially the twins. They're good boys, sweet boys, and they slide easily into the booth with everyone else.

The kids are clamouring to be the one who gets to sit beside Alexis. Climbing all over her, really, but she doesn't seem to mind. It frees Rick up to help his wife out of her coat and skim his freezing fingers over the warmth at her nape.

She jerks hard and narrows her eyes at him, but he makes it up to her with the press of his mouth. "That was so much fun tonight."

"Yeah." She seems a little wistful as she unwinds her hair from its braid and shakes it out across her shoulders. "Easy to forget how much magic there is in this city when you see the very worst of it too."

Rick drapes his arm along the back of the booth, his hand setting at the ball of her shoulder. "I guess that's part of the beauty of these guys."

"It's part of your beauty too," she says earnestly. Kate captures his face in her palms and holds his gaze. "Rick, you brought magic into my life from the moment we met. I think I told you that once, a long time ago."

"You said that having me around made your hard job a little more fun."

"Still true," she insists. "More so. You make everything more fun."

She leans in to kiss him and he touches his tongue to the corner of her lips. He wants her, feels that age-old yearning deep in his guts. It's as if the spectre of their former selves watches over them. How badly he wanted her then, how he feared that they would never make it.

"Mommy, Daddy, don't be gross!" Lily pipes up from the other side of the booth.

They break apart on a laugh and turn to the four disgruntled faces of their children. Kate's hand settles at his knee, unseen by their family, and she squeezes.

"Sorry, sweet girl. We're done. Do you know what you're having?"

The kids take turns to tell their mother what they want for dinner. Rick stays silent, on the periphery of the action. He's still pretty wiped out from his day with them, but it's more than that. He loves watching Kate with them, how she blossoms in the role of mother. He's happy to observe her, just as he always has done.

He comes back to himself with her lips at his cheek, her gentle fingers at the collar of his shirt. "Babe. You with me?"

"Never be anywhere else, Kate."


	7. Chapter 7

**December 7 - 2022**

* * *

The twins are up early, as usual. It's barely six when the bedroom door creaks and a shaft of light cracks open the morning. Kate opens her eyes to two solemn, sincere little faces in the morning darkness. She slides silently out of bed, stopping at the dresser to tug on some fluffy socks before she herds her sons out of the room. Her husband is sleeping on his stomach, still out cold and snoring like a bear.

"Good morning, my sweet boys," she says once she's got the bedroom door closed. They follow her into the kitchen, still silent, and watch as she overrides the timer on the coffee pot so it can start percolating. The lamps out in the living room are on timers to come on in the morning so that the boys don't stumble in the dark and hurt themselves, but outside the windows dawn is not yet struggling over the horizon.

Kate fixes each of the boys a cup of warm milk and she lifts them to sit at the island while she makes her coffee. They take a while to wake up, just like their father does, but it gives her some time to crawl up through the film of sleep herself.

Once her coffee is done she sits at the island between her boys and the three of them drink quietly together. By the time they've finished their milk the boys are awake and chattering, telling her all about their dreams from last night.

Rick thinks their being twins is the coolest thing ever. Even after almost three years she remembers so clearly the moment they found out. Her husband had cried, clutching tight to her hand and telling her over and over how much he loves her, how happy he was. They didn't know that they were having boys yet, and everyone had joked that Rick was going to end up with four daughters, but he had only beamed with pride. He likes to play up any evidence of supernatural connection between them. Kate is quick to shut him up, doesn't want her boys feeling alien, but even she has to admit that it's spooky how often the two of them have the same dream.

"Mommy?" Reece lays his little hand at her arm. He leans in close and peers into her face. His hair is sticking up all over his head in funky spikes, just like Jake's. They get it from their father, and Kate loves to see her three guys all in a row with their matching bedhead. "Today we are gonna see Santa?"

"That's right, peanut butter cup. We're gonna go and see Santa and his reindeer."

Jake cheers and climbs right out of his chair into her lap. She catches him, her arms tight around her sweet boy. Reece is only two minutes older than his brother, but they're all guilty of babying Jake. Kate rocks with him and kisses his clammy forehead, smelling the sleep-sweat of him.

"Are you excited, baby?"

"Yes Mama." He lays his head to her shoulder and fists his hand in the neckline of her shirt, clinging.

Being married to Rick has been good practice for dealing with her limpet babies. Whenever she's near all they want is to be held by her, to be close. She'd never deny them it, but she's glad she had so many years of her husband's affections to teach her how to handle it.

They're taking the kids to a breakfast with Santa this morning at the Rock Center Cafe. Afterwards, they're heading to Bryant Park to meet and pet the reindeer. Rick wanted to do it and Kate didn't exactly take a lot of convincing. There's a part of her, deep in her guts, that's still raw. The holidays make her mother's absence sharper, but she's no longer just surviving through it. These three little ones look to Kate as well as Rick to find the joy of the season, and it's the best distraction she could have hoped for.

Lily appears first, and then Rick finally. It's a production to get everybody dressed and ready to go out, but the excitement of their breakfast means the boys move more quickly than normal. They're giddy with it, hopping from foot to foot. They'll be three next month and they're so smart already. Part of Kate yearns for the tiny babies her husband could hold in one hand, even as it fills her with so much pride to watch them grow.

They take the subway. It's easier now that the boys are that little bit older, and especially when Kate and Rick are both there. The car is crowded, so they get separated. Rick manages to find a seat and he keeps both the boys in his lap, each of them straddling one of his thighs. They wave at the other passengers and get smiles back from most of them. Jake and Reece have Rick's natural charm, and they're so ridiculously cute that no one seems able to resist them.

At the other end of the car, Kate stands with Lily. She holds on to the rail and her daughter holds tight to her free hand, pressed in close in the crush of people. She's getting tall already, a head above some of the other children in her kindergarten class. Kate does her best to shelter her with her own body as more people pile onto the train.

"Mommy, it's not the real Santa though, right?" Lily asks.

She's inquisitive, always has been, so they've had to tread very carefully. Rick keeps teasing Kate about her losing her belief in Santa at the tender age of three, but she doesn't want that for her daughter. She wants Lily to cling to magic as long as she can, and it's easy when Richard Castle is your father.

"No baby. The real Santa is busy getting everybody's presents sorted, so he sends some pretend Santas to come and meet the boys and girls and report back to him."

"Okay." Lily nods, apparently satisfied with that explanation.

An older lady sitting near them catches Kate's eye and smiles warmly, gives her a little nod. Kate smiles right back. Since she had kids, she's found herself falling in love with this city all over again. She sees it the way her children and her husband do now. How alive with possibility it is, especially at this time of year.

By the time they make it to the cafe the kids are bouncing out of their skin. Rick gives their names to the waitress and she writes a name badge for each of them. The boys try to swap, a new game they're discovering, but Rick narrows his eyes at them.

"Santa will know," he says firmly, and the boys mutely trade their badges back again.

"Kids are over here at Santa's table," the waitress says. "You can help them load their plates at the buffet and then sit at one of our other tables, Mom and Dad."

Kate slides her hand into Rick's, still feeling a little frisson of pleasure at being referred to as Mom even after close to six years. They help Lily and the boys at the buffet. It has an omelette and crepe station, another for bagels and even a chocolate fountain. The kids look to Kate for permission and she shrugs. It's Christmas, why not have chocolate for breakfast?

Once they're happy they sit at the long table with all the other kids. Santa is at the head of it, tucking in to his own breakfast. Rick hovers, and Kate tugs on his hand.

"Come on, babe. They're fine."

They find a table that keeps them in the kids' line of sight, just in case they need anything. Kate sits at right angles to her husband instead of across from him, wanting to keep him close today. The waitress brings them coffee and they tuck in to their own breakfast. Kate was reserved because she doesn't like to stuff herself in the mornings, but Rick has one of everything piled onto his plate.

"They're so confident," he muses. The boys are sitting either side of their sister, but all three kids seem to be chatting to the other children at the table, making friends.

"Well, they've got each other for backup."

Halfway through their breakfast, a woman maybe ten years older than Kate approaches the table. She looks nervous and excited all at once. Kate shrinks back a little to give her husband space to turn on the charm. The woman introduces herself, asks Rick to sign a napkin. He's so kind with his fans, making each one feel as if they're important to him.

"And you must be Captain Beckett," the woman says, and Kate jolts. Rick's eyes are crinkly with pride when he smiles at her, and he drapes his arm over the back of her chair.

"Kate." She offers her hand to the stranger to shake. "Nice to meet you."

"This is just so exciting," the woman babbles. "I'm here with my grandson, and I knew it would be fun, but I had no idea I'd get to meet my favourite author and his wife."

Rick and the woman talk for a little bit longer. She asks whether their kids are enjoying themselves and Rick tells her they are, careful not to actually point them out. Paula has done a great job keeping their children out of the public eye, and Rick is incredibly protective of them on the rare occasions they're around his fans.

When the woman leaves them to their breakfast Rick drops his hand to her knee and squeezes. "Sorry about that, honey."

"Hey, no," she says insistently. Kate tangles her fingers with his at her knee and ducks her head to catch his eyes. "Rick, I'm so proud to be your wife. It makes me happy to meet your fans, because you're amazing and it's important to me that everybody knows it."

"Wow," he breathes. "Merry Christmas to me."

After the kids have finished eating elves come around the table and give each of them a gift. They get their photograph taken with Santa. The guy in the suit seems particularly fond of the twins and he chats to them for quite a while until Kate has to intervene, conscious of the looks the other parents are giving her family.

The kids come back to Kate and Rick's table to unwrap their gifts. Lily has a kids' makeup set that Rick scowls at, but Kate jabs him in the side and promises her daughter that they can do makeovers when they get home. The boys have a toy truck each, which they immediately want to take out of the packaging, but Rick takes charge of them until they get back to the loft.

Now that they've eaten the kids are a little bit less hyperactive, but they still bubble over with excitement on the way to Bryant Park. Reece is baffled that they're going to meet the reindeer, apparently convinced that they're not a real animal.

When they reach the enclosure that's been set up for the reindeer Jake is suddenly nervous. He mewls and clings to Kate's legs and she scoops him up. The other two go right up close, their noses practically touching the fence. The beasts are large, their antlers majestic and impressive. Their hot breath comes in snorts and Lily giggles.

"Daddy, look, he's looking at me," she beams. Sure enough, one of the reindeer has turned his head towards them and his warm brown eyes look right at Lily.

"You can pet him if you want, sugar," the woman in the pen tells Lily.

Their daughter looks to Rick and he nods, pulling his phone out of his pocket to capture the moment. "Go ahead, sweetheart."

Lily reaches her hand through the fence and pats the reindeer's nose. He nuzzles into her hand and she grins widely, speaking soft words to the reindeer. Once Lily has had a shot Reece sticks his own hand into the pen to stroke the reindeer as well.

Jake has his face mostly hidden against Kate's neck, but he peeks at his siblings. "Do you want to pet him, sweet boy? See how friendly he's being to Reece and Lily."

"Okay," a small voice says.

Kate sets Jake down on his feet and he moves slowly towards the enclosure. When he reaches it Lily sets her hand on his shoulder and tells him that it's alright, the deer won't hurt him. Jake plucks up his courage and offers his hand to the reindeer to sniff. He scratches the deer's nose and then he turns and beams at Kate and Rick.

"He likes me, Mama!"

"Of course he does baby," Kate laughs.

Rick is filming now, his phone in one hand, and he slides his other into hers. They both have gloves on, and she misses the soft warmth of his skin, but this is good too. She's so proud to stand beside him as his partner, so proud of their family.

"Hey," he murmurs once he shuts off the camera.

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

"So much," she says back, and kisses his wind-chapped mouth.

* * *

 **A/N:** Today is the birthday of my beta, cover artist and all around angel princess, detkatebeckett! Please all go and wish her a wonderful day 3


	8. Chapter 8

**December 8 - 2023**

* * *

When Alexis was growing up, every day with her was daddy-daughter day. It was just the two of them against the world until his mother moved into the loft. That time with his baby girl was so precious to Rick, and his wife knows it. Once a month or so, she takes the boys to her father's house for the day and Rick gets to have one on one time with Lily.

"What are we doing today, Daddy?"

Lily is sitting at the kitchen island, swinging her feet. She's wearing her new dress, an early gift from his mother. It's grey wool, paired with stripy tights. She's adorable, and so like her mother. Rick moves around the kitchen cleaning up the chaos from breakfast while his daughter colours a picture and chats to him.

Every once in a while his phone pings with a message from his wife. Jim's house has a yard, and the most recent text was a photograph from Kate. A cup of coffee in the foreground of the shot and then, out of focus and through a window, his sons careening around on the grass. He's glad Kate can spend the day with her dad and the boys can hang out with Grandpa.

When Lily was born, Jim had taken him downstairs to get coffee from the hospital canteen. He had thanked Rick for making Kate so happy, for giving both of them their family back. Jim told him that Johanna would have loved him, would have been thrilled to have him as a son in law. He blamed the emotion of the day and his exhaustion for the tears that escaped him.

Today's plan with Lily is a secret. He and Kate have been planning it for a couple of months, late at night when they're sure the kids won't overhear. Kate has been the one to arrange everything, because it's easier for her to get away for an hour or two without making their children suspicious.

"Today, sweetheart, you're getting your Christmas present from Mommy and me."

"I am?" Lily gasps, and her whole face lights up. She drops her pencils and bounces in her chair, the excitement too much for her body to handle. "But Christmas isn't for two more weeks."

Rick starts the dishwasher running and comes around the island to stand beside his daughter. She throws his arms around his middle and squeezes. He gives an exaggerated huff of breath that makes her laugh and she lets him go.

"It's something that's better to give you now. But we have to go get it, so you need to get some shoes on."

"Is Mom and my brothers coming too?"

A sharp line of guilt bisects Rick's abdomen. He talked this part over with Kate, made sure she really considered it and was certain. He doesn't want her to miss it, but she said she didn't want Lily's surprise to be overshadowed by her crazy brothers. She made him promise to film her reaction though, and he has his phone charged up and ready.

"They're not, but you can tell them all about it when they get home this afternoon."

Lily darts around the loft looking for her shoes and coat and hat. She skids on the hardwood in her thick knit tights and Rick catches her, chuckling at her innocent enthusiasm. Once they're both bundled up and ready to face the weather, he takes Lily's hand in his and leads her out into the city.

"Are we walking?" she hops along next to him, orbiting the tether of his grip on her hand. "Is it far?"

"It's really near, Lilypad. Only a five minute walk."

It's actually a coincidence that it's so nearby. They researched online, and when Kate found the one and looked it up she had laughed and told him it must be fate.

Lily chatters the whole way, a stream of consciousness fuelled by her delight. Rick replies whenever she leaves a gap for him to do so, but mostly he's content just to listen to her. She's so smart, wise beyond her years. First grade has seen her blossom, allowed her to expand on the love for learning that they've been sure to instil in all three of their children.

When the building looms in front of them Lily stops in her tracks and stares at the sign over the door. She's a good reader already, practicing a lot at home. Her mouth opens and she whips around to look at him.

"Daddy? Does that say animal?"

"It does, sweet girl." He grins widely, can't seem to help himself. "Do you want to come and meet your dog?"

She screams, loudly enough that some of the other people on the sidewalk stare at her. It's immediately clear that she's happy, though. She jumps up and down and claps her hands.

"Daddy, Daddy, oh my gosh. Thank you," she babbles.

Rick crouches down to her level and rests his hands at her biceps. She stills, but he feels the livewire of excitement rippling just beneath the surface of her skin.

"Lilypad, Mommy and I decided that it's time for you to get a dog. You've been asking for a really long time, and all this year you've shown us that you're mature and responsible. We're very proud of you, sweetheart."

"I love you, Daddy." Lily throws her arms around his neck and showers his cheeks in wet kisses. "And I love Mommy and my brothers. And, Daddy? And I love my dog."

"Let's go meet him."

Inside, one of the staff members takes them through to the back to meet their dog. They reserved him last week, after they passed the home inspection and the interview stages. Their dog is an ex-racing greyhound. He's around four years old, they think. He injured his leg, and was rescued just in time before he was scheduled to be put down.

The moment she came to meet him for the first time, Kate had been smitten. She'd come in the door breathless and pink-cheeked and told him that they'd found their dog. He's good with children, kind and patient, and all he really wants to do is nap for most of the day.

The teenage boy lets them into the pen and Lily kneels down. The dog sniffs at her curiously and then, satisfied, he nudges his head against her chest.

"Go ahead baby, you can pet him. He's your dog."

Lily strokes her fingertips along the dog's smooth nose. He licks her cheek and she giggles, wrapping her arms around him in a hug. She's gentle with him, and it's clear already how much love there is between the two of them.

Rick has to sign a couple more forms, and then they're allowed to go home with their dog. They stop off at the pet store and Lily picks out a new collar and leash and some toys for him. His crate and food and bowls and all the rest of it is in the trunk of the SUV after Kate picked all of it up last night.

When they come through the front door of the loft and unhook the dog's leash he bounds around the living space of the loft. He jumps up onto the couch and runs along it, leaping gracefully off the other end. Lily giggles and chases him around and Rick dumps the stuff on the kitchen island. He shoots another video and sends it to Kate and she texts back that she's on her way home with the boys.

The dog explores every inch of the loft, his long nose twitching as he sniffs every nook and crevice. Lily follows along behind him, petting him whenever he stops long enough for her to get the chance. His tail wags so fast that it blurs and he hops from foot to foot with excitement.

By the time Kate gets home the dog has worn himself out. He's up on the couch because Rick didn't have the heart to say no, napping with his head in Lily's lap. She strokes his velvety ears and murmurs to him, telling him all about the life he's going to have now that he's with them.

When the door opens Rick intercepts the boys before they can charge at the dog. Kate told them about him in the car and they're both noisy with excitement, but Rick takes them aside and explains to them all about being gentle and patient with their dog. It gives Kate a chance to join Lily on the couch.

"Thank you for my dog, Mommy," their daughter says. She does her best to wrap her arms around Kate with the dog still asleep in her lap.

Kate strokes Lily's hair and kisses the crown of her head. "You're so welcome, my big girl. Did Daddy take you to get him a leash and some toys?"

"Yeah."

"I'll go and get his bed and his food out of the car then sweet girl."

While Kate is down in the parking garage, Rick lets the boys introduce themselves to the dog. He's woken up from his nap now but he stays on the couch. He gives each of them a lick to the face and they beam with joy, instantly smitten. He trusts the kids enough to leave them alone with the dog when his wife gets back and help her get everything set.

They put the dog's crate in the laundry room so that it's out of the way and he can have some quiet time if he needs it. Kate hooks her arm through his and lays her cheek to his shoulder.

"I feel like the couch is gonna become his bed."

"Yeah, sorry honey," he says sheepishly. "I couldn't bring myself to tell him no."

She laughs and turns her head to kiss the inside of his arm through his shirt. "Doesn't matter. He's not gonna do any worse damage than the boys."

Once they've found a home for all of the dog's things and shown him where his water dish is, Rick calls a family meeting. Everyone piles onto the couch and the dog hops up and drapes himself across multiple laps. He rolls onto his back so that they can scratch his belly.

"Alright, Castles. We have a very important job to do."

"What Daddy?" Jake asks. He's got his fingers curled around one of the dog's paws.

Lily lifts her eyes from her adoring stare at the dog and looks at her little brother. "We have to pick a name for our dog."

"Mama say he's your dog," Reece says, looking to Kate to make sure he hasn't misunderstood.

"We can share him. It's good to have lots of people to love you, even when you're a dog."

Emotion chokes Rick and he squeezes his daughter's shoulder. Kate is refusing to meet his eyes and he knows it's so she won't cry. After a minute they get over the humbling gratitude that this girl is their daughter and they get down to business.

A whole host of names are tossed into the ring, from the peculiar (Philip) to the downright ridiculous (Eggshell). Rick has a name in mind, but the last time he offered it up he was immediately shot down by his wife. That was ten years ago though, so he suggests it anyway.

"What about Cosmo?"

"Like the magazine that you and Mommy were in?"

"Ohh, I'm gonna kill Espo."

"Mama, you _not_ kill Tío!"

"Okay!" Rick raises his voice and his family fall silent. "The magazine has the same name, yes. But way back when Mommy and I were boyfriend and girlfriend-" he pauses to let his kids groan and gag. "I told her that I wanted to name our baby Cosmo."

Lily's eyes widen and she glances from Rick to Kate and back again. "You wanted to call me Cosmo, Daddy? That's not a name for a person."

"You're quite right, baby girl." Smugness puffs up Kate's chest and he scowls at her. "No way I was going to let that happen."

"It's a cool name for a dog though," Lily muses. She pets the dog's silky head and he blinks up at her. "What do you think, my dog? Are you Cosmo?"

The dog's tail thumps against Rick's thigh and he licks Lily's palm, his slender body wiggling with joy. Everybody laughs, and Kate gives a long-suffering sigh.

"I think that decides it. Welcome to the family, Cosmo Castle."


	9. Chapter 9

**December 9 - 2024**

* * *

"Cosmo, stop jumping up," Kate calls out sharply, and the dog drops back to the floor. Alexis doesn't seem bothered — she's met Cosmo enough times that she's used to it — and she closes the front door behind herself. The dog hops in tight little circles, ecstatic to have a visitor, but he lets Alexis come further inside the loft without bothering her.

"Hi Kate. How are you?"

Kate accepts Alexis' one-armed hug. Rick's daughter has the car seat in her other hand, the baby fast asleep inside. She smells like spices and woodsmoke and looks exhausted, but she smiles widely. Kate steps back to take her in and then she takes the carrier to let Alexis get out of her coat.

"I'm great. You guys doing okay?"

"We're good. Little man was fussy earlier but the drive seems to have worn him out. Where is everyone?"

Kate heads for the couch and sets the car seat down on the floor. She eases the baby out of it, holding her breath, but he doesn't wake up as she brings him in for a snuggle. Alexis sits down beside Kate and unzips her boots, looking immediately more relaxed.

"My dad is helping the boys put together a new train track. Martha and Lily are off playing dress up. Your dad's in the shower."

"So I've got you to myself?"

"Until they realise you're here."

"Oh, good," Alexis says with such relish that Kate smiles widely, can't help herself. She and Alexis have grown closer throughout the years, since the kids were born. Now that Alexis has a baby of her own she comes to Kate more and more in search of advice or a comforting word. Still, some small part of Beckett still feels like she needs to earn Alexis's approval.

Alexis scoots down the couch to check on her infant son, and her bicep brushes Kate's. Being a new mother is difficult and emotional and gruelling, Kate remembers it all too well. How she floundered with Lily, how she worried that every choice she made was going to be the wrong one for her baby. Kate had Martha to ease her fears, and now she gets to do the same for Alexis.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, just- you know my mom was here this week?"

Meredith had been in the city for a few days earlier in the week. It had been, apparently, the first break in her schedule that allowed her to make it out to New York. She didn't stay with Alexis and her husband, choosing a fancy hotel instead and complaining about having to travel out to her daughter's home. Rick let her use the car service, and still it was an inconvenience she chose to grumble about for her entire visit.

Harry is almost three months old, and Alexis's mother only just met him this week. Rick had been so furious with Meredith that Kate had had to send him to their room to cool off, because he was scaring their children. Three round, wide-eyed little faces had been sitting all in a row watching Rick. There'd been a lot of shouting and a glass was smashed, but he worked through it. Kate had insisted that he not let Alexis see that anger, that he just let his daughter be happy to spend time with her mother.

"I remember. How did it go?"

"Not that great." Alexis wrinkles her nose. She's picking at a hangnail, refusing to meet Kate's eyes, but she's here. She's sharing her feelings with Kate. It's more than she ever even knew to hope for.

"Oh?"

"I kind of got a taste of what it must have been like for Dad when I was a baby. She just didn't want to do anything. I wasn't expecting her to change diapers and stuff, but she hardly even wanted to hold him."

Kate eases an arm out from under Harry so she can wrap it around Alexis's shoulders. She's a mother now, but Kate still sees a wounded girl in her sometimes. "Well, some people just get awkward around babies. I used to, until I had Lily."

"But Harry is her grandson," Alexis practically wails.

"I know, honey. But it's her loss, okay? You and Harry are so loved, by so many people."

"She said she doesn't want to be known as his grandmother. That it makes her feel old. She said he can call her Auntie Meredith when he's older."

Outrage zips through Kate like an electric shock and her spine straightens. She knows Meredith is selfish, has heard too many stories from her husband, but she's always thought of her as harmless. There's no malice in her actions, because she doesn't consider them for long enough to realise the effect they have on everyone around her. Even so, it's hard for Kate to quell the frothing hate that churns in her guts.

"I know it's not really any consolation, but your dad loves being a grandfather. He shows Harry off to everyone he comes across."

One corner of Alexis's mouth quirks into a little smile. "I know he does. I just really hoped this might be the thing that finally made my mom care about me."

"Oh honey, she does care about you. I know she does." Kate strokes Alexis's hair and lets her have a moment to grieve.

Sometimes Kate forgets. She had her mother for nineteen years, a mother who adored her and let her know it. Alexis has never had that. It's always been just her and Rick, really.

"But not as much as you do." Alexis nods, managing a small smile. "That's kind of. . .what I wanted to ask you. It's okay if it's too weird, but I was hoping maybe- can Harry call you Grandma?"

It _is_ weird, but it sends a flood of humbling joy through her guts all the same. Kate's own babies are only four and seven. They still need her so much, are still so tiny. To be somebody's grandmother, even if not by blood, is bizarre. She's Rick's wife though, and even if she's not Alexis's mother she loves her just as fiercely.

"Alexis, I'd be honoured. Of course he can call me Grandma."

"It's just- I know you're only forty five and you're so young and stylish and no one is going to look at you and think _Grandma_ , so I didn't want to offend you or anything and-"

Kate cuts off her babbling with a hug. That's how Rick finds them, fresh from his shower and smelling delicious. He beams to see that his eldest daughter is here and he leans over the back of the couch to hug her once Kate lets go.

The baby is awake and fussing. He squirms unhappily in Kate's arms and Alexis takes him from her, arranging him to feed. Kate leaves her on the couch to have a quiet moment with her son and she nudges her husband back into their bedroom.

"Alexis just asked me to be Harry's grandma," she says, feeling the peculiar shock of it all over her face.

Rick smiles widely, lopsided mouth and crinkling eyes. He backs her up against the door and dips his head to chase her kiss. She opens to him, sliding her flat palms up his chest until she can lace her fingers at the nape of his neck.

In the last few months grey has begun to bloom at his temples and across his jaw. He grumbles, but Kate thinks it makes him look distinguished and oh so sexy. His knee slides between her thighs and Kate hums into his mouth, feeling lazy and predatory all at once.

"I love how you love my daughter," he says when they break apart. He looks stricken by it, and she smoothes her thumbs over his cheeks.

She gives him a minute to collect himself and then she steals a last kiss from him. "You good?"

"Yeah. Kate, does this mean it didn't go well with Meredith?"

"I'm sure she'll tell you all about it in her own time. And I reminded her that she's loved elsewhere, that she and Harry have a family that appreciates them."

"God, you're so good at this."

She laughs and laces her fingers with his, bringing him out into the living room again. Lily appears at the top of the stairs, sees Alexis, and almost falls the rest of the way down in her excitement. She yells out to let everybody else know that Alexis is here and the boys come thundering downstairs as well, with Martha and Jim bringing up the rear.

Alexis moved out of the city because she wants to raise her son someplace with a yard, someplace quieter. They still see her all the time, but the gaps in between are long enough for Lily and the boys to ramp up their excitement every time.

The kids crowd onto the couch with their big sister and peer down at the baby. He's a content little thing, already falling back to sleep after his feed. Kate stays on the periphery of the action with her hand in Rick's. Their babies have a nephew. Her twins, her four year old sons who last night had to fall asleep in the big bed because a movie freaked them out, are somebody's uncles.

"Weird, but so good," Rick murmurs to her.

It's exactly right. Kate squeezes his hand and allows him to lead her into the living room. The kids are giddy and struggling to sit still. Lily's got makeup on which Martha must have done for her and she keeps looking at her reflection and preening, batting her eyes at herself.

"Sorry, Katherine." Martha nudges Kate and shares a smile with her.

She doesn't mind, not really. Kate opens her arms to her daughter and Lily comes to sit in her lap. She can be a little shy when Alexis and her grandparents are all here. Usually it's Rick she seeks out when she feels unsure, looking to him for support. Kate can hardly fault her daughter for that when she does the exact same thing.

"You look very nice, sweet girl. Did Gram teach you all the tricks of the trade?"

"Gram says that theatre makeup is over the top so people in the back row can see it. She said for pretty makeup to wear every day I should ask you."

Kate catches Martha's eye and finds her smiling. Rick's mother is in her eighties now, but she's as sprightly and energetic as she always has been. Harry has been passed to her and she coos to her great-grandson, showering his chubby cheeks with lipstick kisses.

"Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!" Reece comes charging at her and flings his arms around her neck. He almost smacks his sister in the face and Lily grunts, kicking out at him.

Kate gets one arm around her son and it helps to still him a little. "What is it, baby?"

"Grandpa helped our train set to be sooo cool." Reece grins, out of breath with the pleasure of being four years old and having your whole family close by. "It does have bridges and even- oh, Mommy, even a _lake_."

"I just coloured it in on some paper," her father chuckles. He's got Jake in his lap and petting curiously at his stubbly cheeks.

Alexis and Rick are in the kitchen making dinner for everyone. Their voices are quiet but firm. Alexis must be telling her father about Meredith's visit. He whips around to see Kate and she nods at him, gives him an encouraging smile. She doesn't want to dictate what Alexis needs from her father, but she's fairly sure that fury isn't what she's looking for.

Her husband beckons to her and Kate eases the kids off her lap. They crowd around Martha and the baby, leaning in to love on Harry, and Kate leaves them in the capable hands of their grandparents.

"Okay?"

"Yeah." Rick tucks his fingers into the back pocket of her jeans. She leans in to him, because he looks grief-stricken and she knows having her close is often what he needs. "Alexis told me that Meredith doesn't want to be called Grandma."

"Dad, I'm telling you, it's fine," Alexis butts in. She skirts the clutch of his arm around her shoulders and heads for the refrigerator. "I don't need her. I've got Kate."

Rick lets out a breath as if he's received a punch to the guts. Kate turns into his body and lays her cheek to his chest, her arm around his waist. "Babe, you've all got me. You always have done."

"I love you so much."

"Don't be gross," Alexis huffs. "And stop being dramatic. It's fine. Help me chop carrots."


	10. Chapter 10

**December 10 - 2025**

* * *

The parents are all milling around in the reception area, waiting to be allowed to take their seats, when the twins' kindergarten teacher pokes her head around the door.

"Mr and Mrs Castle?"

Kate strides immediately towards her and Rick follows, tugged along in her wake by their clasped hands. Their teacher, Ms Caine, opens the door a little wider and brings them both through into the hallway. There's a lot of noise back here.

Almost all of the elementary students have some part to play, and they're crowded into the gym to wait for their turn on stage. The eighth graders are the main characters and the narrators, and then each of the lower grades has a dance or a musical number to perform. Lily is in third grade and her class are all dressed as snowflakes. She looks adorable in the costume his mother made for her. When she tried it on last night she couldn't stop grinning, goofy and gap-toothed.

The kindergarten class have a dance to demonstrate Christmas morning and they're all supposed to be dressed as parcels and gifts. Not their boys, though. The play's director wanted to have a kindergartener as Tiny Tim, but they were all struggling to remember all of their lines and cues for the whole thing. A stroke of genius, apparently, had prompted Mr Sanders to cast Jake and Reece both as Tiny Tim, one of them for each act.

"The boys aren't happy. The problem is, Jake is playing Tim in the first half. So in the second half, he gets to join the rest of the class as a Christmas gift. But Reece is playing Tim during that scene, so he doesn't get to do the dance."

Yeah. . .that's not good. Rick wrinkles his nose and looks to his wife. She's always been better at conflict resolution than him. It's part of being a captain, after all. She opens her mouth to speak but her phone starts ringing and she has to answer it.

"Can I go in and talk to them?" Rick asks.

Kate is walking off down the hallway, her hand over her other ear so she can hear the person on the phone better. She skipped out early today when she really shouldn't have done, but she insisted that she didn't want to miss opening night. Martha and Alexis are coming to watch tomorrow, and Rick did suggest she go with them instead, but she'd been resolute. Kind of scary, actually.

"I'll send them out."

Ms Caine reappears from the gym a minute later with the boys. When they see him they both open their mouths to start arguing. Rick sinks to a crouch to put himself at eye level with them and he hears them out, one at a time.

The unfairness of the situation has Reece pink-cheeked and on the precipice of tears. He stares at the ground, his arms folded over his chest. Jake is in the Tiny Tim costume ready for the show to begin, complete with little crutch. It's adorable, and pride wells in a great wave in Rick's chest.

"Where's Mommy?" Jake demands.

Rick turns over his shoulder, but Kate has disappeared. The call must have been urgent, then. "She had to take a phone call. She'll be in the audience, cheering just for you guys and Lily, I promise."

"Daddy it's not fair. Jake gets to do two things and I only get to do _one_ thing."

"I know, peanut butter cup. But I have an idea. How about, tonight Jakey goes first and he gets to do the dance. And then tomorrow, you go first and you'll get to do the dance?"

Both of their faces light up. Jake rests his hands at Rick's cheeks and leans in close. "Daddy, you are so smart."

"I'm glad you think so, my man. Happy?" They both tell him they are and grin widely. "Okay. You better get back in the gym then. The show's starting soon."

"That was masterfully done, Mr Castle," the boys' teacher tells him. He gets to his feet, grunting through the stiffness in his knees, and gives her his most charming smile.

It doesn't work. The boys and Lily attend Marlowe Prep, the same school Alexis graduated fourteen years ago. It's a good school, great really. He had to talk Kate into it because she didn't want their kids to be private school snobs and look down on those less fortunate. It was Alexis actually who came to his rescue on that front. He's not sure exactly what his daughter told his wife, but when she got back from their lunch she admitted defeat. One of the best things about this school is that the staff are totally unflappable. The children of diplomats and royalty attend Marlowe Prep, so no one raises an eyebrow at a somewhat famous novelist.

With Kate, it's different. She's a cop, a captain, so the staff here make allowances for her that they wouldn't make for the other parents. She never does it on purpose, never flashes her badge, but they respect Rick's wife more than any movie star or politician.

"I've had quite a lot of practice as a mediator," he tells Ms Caine. If charming her isn't going to work, he figures honesty is his best bet.

"It shows. Please, take your seat. We can handle it from here, can't we boys?"

They follow their teacher back down the hallway, mute with respect for her. Out in the lobby Kate is waiting for him. She gives him that smile that lights up her whole face and some of the other parents turn to follow her line of sight. He has to force himself not to wiggle with silly pleasure at being the person she smiles like that for.

"All sorted?"

He slides his hand into hers and squeezes her fingers. "Sorted. Everything okay?"

"Yeah. Just bureaucracy. Dad's inside. Saved us seats."

Rick lets her lead him into the theatre. She came straight from the precinct and she's tall and striking in her slacks and heeled boots. He loves that she sometimes wears dresses or pencil skirts as captain, loves that being mostly off the streets has let her soften her wardrobe, but her outfit today is giving him flashbacks to being her partner. A chasm of nostalgia opens in his guts and she practically has to manhandle him into his seat.

"What's wrong with you?"

Kate is in between him and her father and Jim peers around his daughter to scrutinise Rick as well. He arranges his face into a smile, feeling awkward and too big for his skin with them both looking at him like that.

"Nothing. I'm fine. Hi, Jim."

"Hello son."

"Babe," Kate prods. She's taken his hand into her lap and she fiddles with it, stroking the lengths of his fingers and working her knuckle into the meat of his palm. Her peculiar affections have him thrown completely off kilter tonight. "You look spaced out."

He sighs and rests back against his seat. "It's just seeing the way everyone carves a path for you. How awed they are by you. Makes me miss being your partner."

"What are you talking about?" His eyes lift to her face and find hers narrowed. "You're still my partner. Married you, didn't I?"

"I. . .yes?"

"Rick," she says. It's softer than he was expecting, as if she feels like she has to mother him. "Do you know how proud I am to walk hand in hand with you? How proud to have you as my husband? People might be awed by my badge and my pantsuit, but I'm awed by you. Your heart."

It chokes him. For a moment all he can do is clutch at her hand and breathe slowly through the shock of it. She's watching him, has always been watching him. When she's sure he's not about to start blubbering she curls her fingers at his ear and brings him in for a kiss. He didn't mean to be so dramatic about it, but something about the holidays and seeing their children perform is getting to him.

Jim has been studying the programme and very carefully ignoring them. When Kate breaks apart from Rick she twists back around in her chair and laughs, pats her father's knee.

"Sorry, Dad. We're done."

"Right," he gruffs. For a minute he can't meet either of their eyes. "Boys are credited."

"They are?" Rick reaches underneath himself for his own programme. It's crumpled, because he sat on it like a hulking buffoon, but he can still see his sons at the bottom of the cast list. "Oh, Mother's going to gloat. Five years old and they're the stars of the show."

Kate starts to respond, but the lights go down and the curtains come up and she snaps her mouth shut. She lets him hold her hand the whole time. When the eighth grader playing Bob Cratchit enters the stage with Jake sitting high on his shoulders there's a chorus of awws from the audience and a scattering of applause. Kate does that sharp police whistle and the people all around them turn to look at her. She doesn't seem at all bothered, grinning and flushed with pride as she is.

Jake doesn't have many lines, but the few he does have are delivered with confidence and mischief. The audience are on his side immediately and Rick beams. When it's time for Lily's class to perform their snowflake dance, Kate watches with two fingers against the arc of her smile. Joy forms creases at the corners of her eyes and he could swear he sees moisture there too.

During the interval several people around them compliment Jake's performance. Rick does most of the talking, more used to this sort of thing than Kate is, but she stays right beside him while her father goes to collect refreshments.

The show starts up again and it's Reece's turn to play Tiny Tim. He's just as good as Jake, maybe even a little better. He's always been the more outgoing of the two, and his cheeky grin during his scenes has the audience chuckling. When he utters Tiny Tim's famous line, "God bless us, every one!" he gets a cheer from the audience and he soaks up the applause, buoyant with it.

During the bows at the end of the show the boys get a standing ovation when they take a bow together. They're the youngest of the cast by eight years, but they held their own. Rick claps as loud as he can, his wife whistling beside him. He didn't mean for them to be _those_ parents, but he's so proud of his children tonight.

The kindergarteners have to wait in the gym to be collected and Kate and Rick both go, leaving Jim to wait for Lily to appear.

"Mama, Daddy!' Jake shouts when he sees them and the boys charge. Kate catches them both in a hug, smothering them with kisses and telling them how proud she is.

When she lets them go it's his turn. Rick scoops them both up and holds them tight. "I'm so proud of you, boys. You were fantastic. Did you enjoy it?"

"It was really fun, Daddy," Reece says right in his ear. He has to put them down because his shoulders are protesting but they don't stray far. Various other parents keep coming up to congratulate them on their performance.

Jake is bashful now that he's off the stage, half hiding behind Kate's legs, but Reece basks in the praise. They'll have to watch that it doesn't go to his head, but there's no harm in letting him enjoy it for tonight. Lily and Jim come to find them and Kate hugs their daughter tight.

"Your dancing was so beautiful, my sweet girl. Well done."

"Thanks Mom." Lily is a head taller than most of the other kids in her grade, even the boys. She can be shy about it, about her gangly limbs and her missing teeth, but on stage tonight she blossomed. "It was so so fun. And Mr Row let me watch the boys from the wings. That's the side of the stage."

Kate hooks her arm through Lily's and the two of them lead the way, Lily's face turned up towards her mother as she tells her all about her experience backstage. Rick corrals Jake and Jim takes Reece, and the six of them manage to make it out of the school gates.

The car service is taking them all home except Jim, so he says his goodbyes. He shakes Rick's hand, the kids hopping around his feet like sparrows. He lifts an eyebrow, so like his daughter, and glances down at them.

"You think they're lively now, wait until Martha sees the show. Bet you a dollar she cries all the way through."

"No bet," Rick laughs. He can picture so clearly his mother's face when she sees the kids perform, how effusive she'll be with her praise afterwards. "Goodnight, Jim."

They see him into a cab and Kate corrals the troops. "Alright, starlets. Let's go home."


	11. Chapter 11

**December 11 - 2026**

* * *

Kate is doing absolutely everything she can to avoid being late. It's their family's Christmas party tonight. There's a guest list as long as her arm, hired caterers, and Rick has spent all week perfecting the decorations in the loft. She has a little over an hour until the first partygoers will descend on the loft. Kate is trapped deep in the trenches of bureaucracy and she doesn't dare poke her head over the top to see whether the end is in sight.

Her phone vibrates underneath her thigh again. She slides it out until she can see the screen. Another text from her husband, asking if she's left yet. There's a picture attachment and she unlocks her phone to see it better. Her three children all lined up in a row, all with their bottom lips jutting out and frowns creasing their foreheads. Missing her.

"I'm so sorry." The words spill out of her and she stands up without realising she's doing it. "Something's come up. I have to go. Excuse me."

She ducks out of the room all nodding head and fumbling apologies. In the corridor she tugs her coat on one arm at a time, her phone trapped between shoulder and ear as it rings and rings. Her shoulder bag swings back with the momentum of her hurrying and catches her in the ribs.

"Ow, jeez," she hisses.

"Kate?"

"Oh. Hey."

His presence on the other end of the phone sets her at ease immediately and she smiles in spite of herself. People are giving her weird looks as she hustles down the halls of 1PP. She has her coat on finally, her scarf still clutched in her fist so that the tails flutter as she goes.

"Leaving now. I'm so sorry."

"Plenty of time, honey. Be safe."

"I always am."

She lets him hang up because she's trying to get out of the building and put herself back together all at once. Tomorrow is her day off, which means she can get a little drunk tonight. Not crazy — she is a mother of three now after all — but she can have a glass or two of wine and maybe let Rick get a little handsy.

A cab pulls up outside immediately and she slides into the back seat, gives the driver her address. The safety of the car lets her organise herself and she puts her phone away in her bag, winds her scarf around her neck. The driver lets her out a block away because the traffic is so bad it'll be faster to walk.

Kate lifts her chin into the mournful weather, feeling the wind whipping pink into her cheeks. The cold is a copper taste at the back of her throat, her lungs in two fists. When she steps into the lobby the doorman laughs and hurries to close the door behind her.

"Good evening, Mrs Castle. Cold one tonight."

"Stay warm, Ernie," she tells him. She's running late, but what the hell. Kate takes the time to squeeze his hand and meet his eyes, make sure he sees how she means it.

It makes him blush and Kate leaves the poor man alone. She squeezes into the elevator right before the doors close. Her cheeks and the tip of her nose are numb, her skin stretched taut across the bones of her face.

When she comes in the front door the loft is quiet. All of their decorations are up and the lights have come on, but with the main overhead lights on as well they lose their effect. The stereo system is set up but nothing plays yet. The catering staff are busy in the kitchen and she leaves them to it, sneaking into their bedroom.

Her dress is hanging in the closet in a garment bag and she leaves it there, stripping down to her underwear while she gets ready. She put on a matching lacy set this morning when she dressed for work and the secret thrill has been with her all day, filled her up with mischief. Kate curls her hair and catches it in a messy chignon at the nape of her neck, little pieces escaping to frame her face. She darkens her makeup and applies a careful coat of red lipstick.

Surveilling herself in the mirror over the dresser, she leans in to inspect her crows feet and laughter lines. She feels good tonight, glamorous. Kate steps into her dress and reaches behind herself to fasten the zipper. It's a sequinned black number, not the most revealing thing in her closet but she feels pretty in it.

Once she has her shoes on and her engagement ring in place, silver drop earrings catching the light in the midst of her hair, she's done. Right as she's about to go in search of her husband, he comes into the room instead.

Rick stops cold in the doorway and stares at her, his jaw slack. He collects himself and comes to her, all blushing familiarity as he kisses the _hi_ from her cheeks.

"Castle." She winds her arms around his neck, intoxicated by the intimacy of that name in her mouth. She almost never uses it now, broke the habit when Lily was a toddler so she didn't confuse their daughter. "Do me up?"

He turns her around and fastens the little hook at the top of the zipper. Bowing his head, he opens his mouth against her top vertebra and lets his tongue dart out to taste the musk and precinct of her day. His hands slide around her and splay wide at her abdomen, his pinky grazing the line of her underwear through her dress.

"So gorgeous."

It has her flustered already. Kate lays her head back against his shoulder and meets his eyes in the mirror. "What have you done with them?"

"They're out in the living room with Mother. All dressed up and waiting to show off for you."

She makes to break out of his grip and he clings tighter, letting her feel the rumbling moan in the chasm of his chest.

"I'm not done."

He turns her to face him. Manhandling her, but the clumsiness of his bear paws on her makes her hot for him. Kate steps in close and opens to the insistent press of his tongue. He's careful, touching her everywhere without messing up her hair or rumpling her dress. His knuckle digs into the meat of her thigh and she gasps, breaks apart from him.

"Babe. Kids. Party."

"Right." He scrapes a hand over his face. It's sweet, endears him to her, and Kate pats his chest.

She hooks two fingers around one of his and leads him out into the living room with her. The kids are restless and antsy and when Kate emerges they charge. Martha is orchestrating the catering staff and putting the finishing touches on the place, turning off lights as she moves around the loft.

"Katherine, just exquisite darling. Really," she calls out. Kate grins and offers a compliment to her mother in law in return. Martha does look lovely tonight and she gives Kate a pleased smile, gracious but fully aware of her magnetism.

The party picks up quickly. Kate does the rounds as host, proud to be on Rick's arm this evening. The kids have friends here, as well as their cousins. Every so often one of them whips past her in a blur of sticky, childish euphoria. She did say she wasn't sure about the chocolate fountain, but it's not to worry about tonight.

People keep passing drinks into her hands and then she puts them down again someplace else. She's struggling to keep track. Not drunk, not exactly, but pleasantly aware of herself. Happiness bubbles like champagne in her belly and she smiles at everything, everyone.

This year was ten years since that day. Ten years since she and Rick hunkered down close to the earth and vulnerable to sit out the summer. It was a while before either of them sent tentative green shoots out into the world, but they got lucky. They blossomed quickly.

Kate winds up sitting with a plate from the buffet balanced on her knees. When she looks up, Alexis is sitting down beside her. Her husband has Harry in his arms and he makes conversation with Martha and some of her actor friends.

"Hey. You look lovely."

"Thanks, Kate. I really like your dress."

"Good," she huffs. "I bought it on a lunch break. Didn't even have time to try it on."

Alexis laughs and shakes her head. "Well, you're gorgeous in everything."

They sit in silence together for a little while. Alexis has a plate of food as well but she picks at it. Tipsy as she is, it takes Kate longer than it should have to investigate.

"Can I get you a drink? You look like you need it."

"Oh, no, I. . .I'm not drinking tonight."

Kate narrows her eyes at Alexis. It takes a second, she's not proud, but then it clicks and her eyes widen again. "Oh my god, Alexis!"

"Shh," she hisses. "Don't tell anyone. Don't tell Dad. We didn't want to steal your thunder tonight."

"Oh but honey, he'll be delighted." Alexis gives her a sighing look and she laughs, has to blot her mouth with a napkin. "Right. Family dinner next week, huh?"

"Yeah. Can you keep a secret until then?"

"Of course. Nauseated?"

"Threw up in a bag on the car ride here. Twice," Alexis says grimly.

Now that Kate is paying attention, she does look grey around the edges. Her skin is papery and translucent. Kate squeezes her hand, feels sympathy rearing its dormant head. "Go lie down in Lily's room if you need to. Should be nice and quiet up there. I'll make your excuses to Rick."

"Thank you," Alexis breathes. She's out of her seat immediately and skirting the edges of the party, heading for the stairs.

Kate gets up as well. She's pleased to find herself steady on her feet even in these heels. She starts trying to make her way to her husband, getting intercepted over and over by various people wanting to congratulate her on the party. Some of them she doesn't even know, has to introduce herself as Rick's wife. And then they say _oh, the twins' mother_ and she has to apologise and her cheeks get hot.

When she makes it to Rick he beams, delighted with her. There's mistletoe hanging in the alcove next to the stairs and he brings her with him, an arm at her waist. His kiss is all fumbling, graceless enthusiasm. She catches the toppling pillar of his body and backs him up against the wall instead.

"Mm. You're drunk," he says into her mouth.

"Not as drunk as you." She nips at his bottom lip in retaliation and earns herself the sharp snap of his hips towards hers. "We can't be doing this, _Cas-sle_. We're hosting."

He whines low in his throat and opens his mouth at her jaw. His hot wine-breath washes over her skin and she shivers.

"But I _want_ you," he says, so petulant that she finds herself waiting for him to stamp his foot. He doesn't, not quite that far gone yet, but he does fist his hands in the material over her hips.

"Our children are here, sweetheart." Kate cards her hands through his hair, babying him. She knows he likes the scratch of her nails over his scalp, and maybe it's cruel to tease him, but she can't help herself.

As if summoned, one of the boys comes and headbutts his father in the leg. It makes him grunt and Rick scoops him up. "Hi, peanut. Enjoying the party?"

"Daddy, can we play Nintendo?"

"Good idea, my man." He sets Reece down and their son goes scurrying off to tell the rest of the kids that Rick said yes.

Kate meets his eyes and he winces, one side of his face tugging upwards. "Beckett I don't think I can set that up right now. There's so many wires."

"Why don't you ask Tom?"

"Oh, yes! You're so smart. Honey, I love you." He kisses her, clumsy and not quite finding her mouth. She lets him have it and then he disappears in search of Alexis' husband and his technical knowledge.

For a minute Kate stays on the periphery, watching their guests talk and laugh and dance. Seventeen years ago when she first met this man, she never could have imagined that her life would be this rich and good. She leans against the wall with one hand against her chest, her fingertips at the flutter of her pulse in the base of her neck. He did this for her. The goofy man currently weaving a path through the guests with his son-in-law right behind him gave her everything she has.

And _oh_ , is she going to thank him for it later.


	12. Chapter 12

**December 12 - 2027**

* * *

They're meeting Kate across town at the rink. The four of them troop through the subway station in a line. Lily goes first, the boys behind her and Rick bringing up the rear so he can keep an eye on all three kids. Now that they're that little bit older, it's easier to manage. They're better at listening and following his instructions, and in turn he's better at not getting stressed. Lily is in fifth grade already, so grown up, and she leads the way with confidence.

It's packed, as it almost always is. He manages to find one free seat and the boys squeeze their skinny butts onto it, pressed in tightly together. Lily stands in the cove of Rick's body, her hand fisted in the bottom of his coat so that she doesn't fall down.

"Dad, I'm nervous."

She'll be eleven years old in April and he can't quite believe it. Lily is tall and smart and kind and they are both so proud of her.

"Don't be, Lilypad. You just need to take some time to find your feet and then you'll be great."

Her nose wrinkles. "I don't want Mom to zoom off without me."

That makes him laugh in spite of himself. Kate's a decent skater, comfortable on the ice. Her competitiveness sometimes goes to her head, but she loves these kids more than her own self.

"If you ask her I'm sure she'll stick right beside you, don't worry."

"Kay." Lily nods.

Her hair is starting to grow out now. She kept it in that short, Beckett-like bob for a couple of years but the last year or so she's been letting it get long again. He thinks she's adorable either way, but he knows how much Kate missed getting to play hair shop with their girl. It's in two braids that Kate did for her before she left for work this morning, and when she turns her head they fly about.

The train pulls in to their station and Rick ushers the three kids onto the platform. The boys have been giddy all afternoon. They still believe in Santa, quite fiercely so. Lily figured it out a couple of years back, but now she finds such delight in helping Rick and Kate maintain the illusion for her little brothers that it hardly seems to matter. The closer Christmas Day gets, the more excitable their sons are.

Rick keeps the kids back out of the crush of people until most everyone has made their way up the steps. There are a few stragglers back here, an elderly couple and a lady with a stroller. He sends the kids up the stairs in front of him and helps the woman with her baby.

"Alright, gang," he says to the kids once they make it outside the subway station. "Let's go find Mom."

She's waiting for them at the rink, according to her text. When they get there he has to pay for entry and skate hire. The kids hop around his ankles like sparrows, trying to see over the barrier and spot their mother. When they're finally allowed through they dash off. Rick opens his mouth to call them back, but he hears Kate's voice instead.

"Hey there, guys. What have you done with Dad?"

"He's coming, he's just slow," Jake tells her sombrely.

Kate stands up from the bench when she sees him approaching. He catches her body against his and slides his arms around her waist. She's warm and soft and good, almost as tall as him in her ice skates. He kisses her mouth in spite of their dramatic, wailing children.

"Hi. Missed you today," she tells him. Her thumbs smooth over his cheeks.

Reece worms his way in between them and stretches his arms out to separate their bodies. He's frowning fiercely and he folds his arms across his chest to glare at them. "You're so gross."

"Sorry, my man," Rick laughs. "One day you'll have somebody that you love as much as I love your mom and you'll understand."

"Lex and Tom aren't gross," Jake scowls.

Thoroughly chastised, Rick busies himself helping his sons get their ice skates on and their sneakers stored away in a locker. Lily is already in her skates, tottering around like a newborn foal and clinging tight to Kate's arm.

Once everyone is ready they make their way onto the rink. They've skated before, have done this a few times every winter since the twins were four or five. Still, it takes everyone a while to find their feet. Kate and Lily skate hand in hand, his two beautiful girls.

"Dad, look, I'm doing it!" Reece zips past, the tails of his scarf flapping wildly behind him. He's not really watching where he's going, and right as Rick's about to call out a warning he crashes hard into the barrier.

Jake erupts into showers of laughter, but he skates carefully over to his brother and helps to pick him up off the ice. Rick stays close to his sons until he's sure they're okay. Eventually they get tired of his hovering and he hangs back.

"Hey, handsome," a voice behind him says.

Lily skates past him, but Kate comes in close and slides her hand into his. The kids are in front of them, close enough that they can keep watch, but they can still get away with being a little gross. Their hands are gloved, but he can feel the warmth of her through the wool.

"They're doing well. Only a couple falls so far."

She hums in response. It's kind of awkward to skate hand in hand like this, and he's afraid that if he falls he's going to take her down with him. When he makes to let go of her hand she clings tighter and he lets her have it, hardly about to peel her off him.

"I have a feeling they're gonna be black and blue tomorrow," Kate laughs, right as Jake loses his footing and smacks down hard onto the ice. "But it's worth it. They're having fun."

"Are you?"

"Course." She doesn't look at him, too focused on what her feet are doing. From the corner of his eye he sees her lips thinning in a grin. "You're doing well. What happened to your clumsiness?"

He pokes his tongue out at her and she laughs, jostling him with her elbow. It's been a mild winter so far and he's sweating in his coat and scarf. He misses the windchill at his cheeks, but it's nice to enjoy this beautiful city without having to hurry from one warm place to the next.

They skate for close to an hour, until the kids start to flag. Jake gets whiny when he's tired and once they see his bottom lip quiver it's time to call it a day. Rick herds his family off the ice and they take their time getting their shoes back on.

"Dad, I'm starving" Lily says from beside him on the bench. Her stomach grumbles loudly as if to prove her point and she giggles, pressing her hand to her belly.

He looks to Kate to make a plan. She's kneeling on the ground in front of their sons, talking quietly and urgently to them. They both look furious. He must have missed the argument, but Kate's handling it. When she's done the boys give each other a hug and it's like nothing happened.

"They okay?"

"Yeah. Tired and grouchy."

"They hungry? Lily and I are starving."

Kate sits on the other side of their daughter and wraps her arm around Lily's shoulders. She leans in to her mother immediately, her eyes fluttering closed. Kate strokes her hair and kisses her forehead. She's so tender with their children, soft in a way he never thought to expect.

"I think we're all hungry. Suggestions?"

"Remy's? It's not a million miles from here, and we haven't been in a long time."

"Boys?" Kate calls out. Jake and Reece are playing some kind of game involving their shoelaces, but their heads snap up at the sound of their mother's voice. "Burgers and milkshakes?"

The boys cheer loudly and jump up from the bench to bounce on the spot. Their enthusiasm is catching and Rick's stomach growls in echo. He makes sure everybody's got all of their belongings and they make their way outside, handing their skates to the guy at the counter.

By the time they finally make it to the diner the boys are feral with hunger, snarling and snapping. Kate ushers them into the booth, one on each side because they can't be trusted next to each other when they're like this. She slides in next to Reece and Rick sits beside Jake. Lily assesses her options and then shrugs and slips into the seat next to her mother.

"Hey, Castles," their server says.

"Hi Nessa!" the kids all chorus and she smiles, charmed by their children.

Nessa has been a waitress here for years. She knew Kate and Rick before they started dating, back when they would come here and sit opposite each other in the booth. Kate would always dip her fries into his milkshake and he'd let her because she looked so pleased with herself and so beautiful.

They put their orders in and Nessa gives the boys a colouring sheet and a packet of crayons. She offers one to Lily as well but their daughter declines. She sits up straighter in her seat, trying to look more grown up. Nessa laughs and takes the colouring sheet away again.

"Look at you, Miss Lily. I remember when you were still a twinkle in your daddy's eye."

Lily frowns at him and he gulps, not exactly looking forward to explaining what that phrase means when they get home tonight. Their daughter has all of Kate's tenacity, and she doesn't stop until she's sure she understands. It's led to some awkward conversations, and more than once he's had to hand her over to Kate because he's run out of answers.

Beside him, Jake is already working furiously at his colouring sheet. He's bent almost double over the table, tongue poking out between his lips and his eyebrows like two grouchy caterpillars. Now that he's a little older, he tries his hardest to stay within the lines and complete the word search properly and get it right. Reece doesn't care at all. His sheet is already covered in scribbles.

"Looks good, my man," Rick says.

The diner is playing Christmas music. When the song changes Lily's face lights up and she pats Kate's forearm to snag her attention. "Mom, sing with me."

Kate joins in immediately, her voice soft and shy in the bustle of the diner. Lily is more carefree than her mother, louder, but she has that same soft pleasure all over her face. When the song finishes the boys applaud loudly, and the elderly couple the next table over join in as well.

"Mommy, Mommy, guess what?" Jake says eagerly. He leans across the table to get in Kate's space. "Even my bruises have bruises."

"Is that right, kiddo?" she chuckles.

She looks exhausted, now that he's studying her. Coming straight from her day at the precinct to the rink probably wasn't the best thing for her, but she's smiling anyway. Rick flutters his fingers at her and she snags them, threading her more slender ones through his.

"Early start tomorrow or?"

"Nah. I'll try to make it in by lunchtime," she shrugs.

As captain, Kate takes her responsibilities very seriously. She likes to be at the precinct, overseeing everything and helping her detectives when they need her to. She loves their kids though, so fiercely. Not one person in the entire precinct begrudges her the occasional day off.

"Good. Breakfast in bed, then."

She lets him see the happy tilt of her mouth. Underneath the table, her feet nestle their way in between his. She's tactile tonight, wanting him. He can read it all over her after all this time. Their kids are like three mini detectives themselves, and they can't get away with much. After they go to bed tonight though, he's going to run Kate a bath.

He'll pour her a glass of wine and break out the nicest bubbles he can find. Maybe she'll let him get in with her, maybe she'll ask for some space to soak. Either way, he's content just knowing that she's happy and close by.

 _Love you_ , he mouths at her from over Jake's head. Her lashes lower to brush her cheeks and colour rises there. Still, after all this time, he can make her flustered. She gathers herself and lifts her chin.

 _Love you, too_.


	13. Chapter 13

**December 13 - 2028**

* * *

Snow falls in fat, cheerful flakes outside the windows of the loft. It's dark already, barely four in the afternoon. The sun has been gobbled up by the frozen earth, and the moon hangs suspended in the sky above them. Its wise, round face peers in to see the happy warmth inside each apartment. It's quiet, as if the whole world is holding its breath.

Kate lies on her back on the couch in the office. Her daughter is tucked in the gap between Kate's body and the back of the sofa. Long-limbed and skinny, her head is tucked below Kate's chin and their feet tangle together beneath the huge throw blanket. It started snowing about an hour ago. Lily came to find her and asked her to curl up and watch it come down.

The boys, all three, are out freezing their noses off. Kate's father is with them as well. They're on a gift-buying mission that Kate and Lily were forbidden to join. She's glad for this peaceful time with her eldest baby, glad to hold her close while Lily is still girlish enough to allow it. She's in sixth grade somehow, already. Marlowe Prep runs right from kindergarten to senior year, so even though Lily is a middle schooler now her routine and her classmates haven't changed. Still, a little flutter of alarm comes to life in Kate's chest whenever she thinks about it.

"Mom? Is Lex coming later?"

"Yep, and the babies." Kate resumes her fingers' absent-minded sifting through Lily's dark hair. "We're going to make the tree ornaments."

When they decorated the tree this year, Alexis' cookie angel had shattered in Rick's hands the moment he picked it up. Her husband had grieved, his head bowed over the angel's broken body. The kids had mutely wandered away and left Kate to handle it.

She had wrapped her arms around him and kissed his cheek. The suggestion to have Alexis come over and make a new cookie angel, and for their own kids to make one as well, had brightened him immediately. He'd launched into planning and quizzing their children about what kind of cutters to get. He eventually decided just to get whatever he could find so they'd be able to choose while they were making.

It's adorable, how enthusiastic he gets. So easy to make him happy, and Kate has loved him so long that it comes as a habit, now.

Lily yawns widely and Kate kisses her daughter's warm forehead. "Tired, sweetheart?"

"Yeah. I wish it was Christmas break already."

"Only one more week. And I'm sure you'll be doing all the fun Christmas activities anyway, baby girl. You can do it."

Lily breathes a huffing little sigh. She wiggles to get comfortable and the arm around Kate's waist tightens. Her hair smells like apple shampoo and Kate hides her nose against Lily's crown, her eyes closed. They stay that way, in and out of sleep, until their boys come crashing through the front door.

"Mom, don't look!" Reece yells out from the living room. "Both shut your eyes."

Kate exchanges an amused look with her daughter and Lily giggles, covering her eyes with her palms. They wait until they're given an all clear and then Kate untangles the blanket from around them both and follows her daughter into the living room.

All three boys are flushed and giddy with the magic of the city. The twins run at their sister immediately and drag her towards the kitchen, whispering urgently. Excitement is catching and Cosmo runs a circuit around the living room that involves him dashing the length of the couch and then coming to butt his slender head into Rick's thigh over and over again.

"Okay, crazy dog. Chill out," Rick laughs. His hand settles on top of Cosmo's head and he scratches behind the dog's ears. He's worn himself out and he curls up on the couch, resting his head on his paws to watch the two of them.

"Success?"

"Yeah. Really good. Alexis texted me. She'll be here in five."

Kate steps in close to him. Winter clings to his coat and she shivers, sliding her hands inside it to ease it off his shoulders. His hands are busy at the hem of her sweater and questing beneath it. The freezing brush of his fingertips over her sides makes her yelp and she squirms, but he clutches tighter.

"Let me love you," he whines. It's so petulant and pitiful that she laughs in spite of herself.

He kisses her, or he tries to. He's grinning so wide at the prospect of seeing all four of his children and his two grandchildren that he can't quite manage it. Kate breaks away from him and pats his cheek. She leaves him in the living room and joins her children.

"Hi, sweet boys. Did you have a good time with Dad and Grandpa?"

Her boys are tall, for eight years old. As they get older they're growing less identical. Jake has a little pockmark at his cheek from when they both got chicken pox. Reece likes to wear his hair a little longer, so that it starts to curl. They're gorgeous, her sons.

"It was really good, Mom. Shopping for presents is fun," Reece says. He's sitting at the island, spinning from side to side on the barstool. Jake and Lily are doing something suspicious involving the refrigerator, but Kate leaves them to it.

"It is, huh."

"It's cool to imagine people smiling so big when they open it."

Kate comes around the island and ruffles Reece's hair. She gets the grouchy furrow of his face in return, but he lays his head against her stomach.

"I'm proud of you and your huge heart, peanut."

He squirms under the praise, his cheeks flushed. The second she gives him the opportunity he breaks out of her embrace and scurries to join his siblings. They're a little shy about their kindness, not liking to have attention drawn to it, but Kate could explode with pride. She's so grateful that it's Rick she's doing this with, that they inherited his wide open way of loving. Even if he does argue that all of their courage and determination to help others stems from her.

The front door opens and Harry comes charging into the loft with Alexis right behind him. She's got Charlotte on her hip and Rick hurries to close the door behind his daughter. Harry clings to his legs and he scoops him up instead, murmuring to him.

The kids all crowd Alexis to give her cuddles and she sets Charlotte down to hug her siblings back. The baby toddles towards Kate and she scoops her up, cradling her close and kissing her chubby cheeks.

"Gamma! Hi, Gamma!' Charlotte beams, clapping her hands together.

It takes a few minutes for everyone to say their hellos and get settled in. Rick has laid newspaper out over the dining room table to protect it and he sends everyone to find a seat. In the kitchen, he collects the flour and salt that they'll need to make their dough. Kate joins him, the baby on her hip.

"Need any help?"

"I'm good, thanks honey. And anyway, you've got your hands full."

Charlotte is a squirmy thing, fierce in Kate's grip. She relents and sets her down and the baby toddles off towards everyone else at the table. Alexis gets her settled in her lap so she can help her daughter make her ornament.

Rick has the flour and salt and the measuring cups all balanced in his arms. "Actually. Could you fill one of the big plastic bowls with water?"

She does as she's asked, fishing one of their enormous mixing bowls from the cabinet. It's awkward to actually get it to fit underneath the faucet without the stream of water spraying back into her face, but she manages the best she can.

At the table, Rick lets everyone take a turn to help make the dough in another bowl. Lily takes charge of the flour, adding four cups of it to the bowl and ending up with it streaked across her cheeks and on the tip of her nose. Jake adds a cup of salt and Reece adds a cup and a half of water, miraculously managing to stay mostly dry himself in the process.

Harry gets to mix the dough together. He does it by hand, half of his upper body inside the bowl as well. He's getting filthy, but he looks so pleased with himself that Alexis doesn't seem to care. Once the dough is ready to be used, Rick divides it up so that everybody has a chunk to work with.

He's beside her at the end of the table, with the five kids and Alexis at the other end. Something about it feels mischievous, like giggling with her crush at the back of the classroom. Their heads dip together and he teases her about her cookie ornament. She's trying to make an angel, but its wing keeps coming out all funky and she has to start again a few times.

Naturally, his candy cane comes out perfectly first time. He uses the scraps of his dough to make a freehand Cosmo for their tree. It's bugging her that he's better than her at this. He must see the wrinkly irritation on her face, because he leaves wet kisses at her cheek until she gives him a smile.

"Looks good, sweetie."

"Don't patronise me." She narrows her eyes at him and he shows her his palms, busying himself back at his own ornaments.

From the other end of the table Lily calls out that she's done and she brings her ornament down to their end so they can inspect it. She's made a gingerbread man and she cradles him carefully in the cup of her palms.

"Looks great, Lilypad. You need to make a little hole so we can thread some ribbon through later and hang him from the tree."

Once everybody has finished their ornaments Rick lays them all out together on a tray and puts them in the oven. They're going to take a half hour, so Rick suggests they order in some dinner while they're waiting.

"Grammy?" Harry's expectant little face appears beside Kate. She lifts him to sit on her knee and he fiddles with her engagement ring. "A boy in my class said you're not really my grammy. He said his mommy told him."

Kate is hyperaware of both Rick and Alexis watching the two of them. They're both doing a really good job of pretending to be oblivious, but she felt the way their awareness expanded to include her and Harry.

"Well, sweetheart. I'm not related to you by blood. Remember how I'm Lily, Jake and Reece's mommy? And Grandpa is their daddy, and Grandpa is your mommy's daddy as well, but I'm not her mommy?"

It's confusing for her, let alone a four year old. She gives Harry a minute to work through the wash of information, his little face all scrunched. After a moment, he nods. "Mommy has a different mommy, not you."

"That's right. Well that means that technically, I'm not your grandma." His face falls, and Kate rushes to explain. "But that's not how family works. We get to choose our family, if we want to. And I chose to love Alexis, and she chose me to be your grammy."

"So Jed's grandma loves him because she has to, but you love me because you want to?"

 _Jed_? Kate wrinkles her nose and lifts her eyes to meet Rick's. He's smiling at her, looking just like he did almost nine years ago when their twin sons were handed to him for the first time. He shrugs, and Kate returns her attention to her grandson.

"Absolutely."

"That's much cooler!" Harry does a little fist bump in the air. He gives her a wet kiss and then slips down from her lap and hurries off to find the twins and Lily, tell them all about his new revelation.

Rick comes to sit in the chair beside her and his wide palm splays at her knee. "Nicely handled."

"I can't believe your fans are saying this stuff to their kids." She's trying not to be grouchy, but really. What kind of mother tells their son that kind of thing about his classmate? One who names him _Jed_ , apparently.

"An anomaly," he assures her. "Most of them adore you. And those that don't are jealous. I think you having been a fan makes it worse. Makes them think they really stood a chance with me."

She lifts an eyebrow at him, her lips pressed together. "Are you saying they didn't?"

"Course not." He's flippant, but she feels the core of sincerity in it. "All that time, I was waiting for you."


	14. Chapter 14

**December 14 - 2029**

* * *

The cabin is splitting at the seams. The six of them and the dog have spent as much time outside as possible, because there isn't really space for them all to squeeze inside the little wooden house. It's freezing, snow in a blanket over the earth since they got here. Jim is in the kids' room with the twins in the bunk bed, and Lily is on a blowup bed on the floor of Kate and Rick's room.

He'd been grumbly about it, annoyed that he wouldn't be able to have Kate all to himself. In return she had threatened to bring Lily in the bed and relegate him to the floor, and he had promptly shut his mouth. It's actually nice, in a way. Two of his three favourite girls are close by, right there when he opens his eyes in the morning.

His youngest daughter is a gangly, grumpy preteen. She's snippish and furious and she turns her back on all of them about eight times a day. And still he loves her so fiercely. She's all Beckett, all stubbornness. It means that she clashes with Kate often, and he has to kiss the tears from his wife's cheeks and promise her that Lily still loves her. It puts him in a difficult position, because he really doesn't want to choose sides, but both of them come to him when they're hurting.

Right now, Jim is outside with the three kids. They skated on the lake this morning, so everybody is bruised and tired. Grandpa is teaching the children how to split logs for kindling, and later he's promised to show them how to set a fire.

"Hi," a sweet voice says. Slender arms slide around his middle, and Rick feels the press of his wife's nose at his spine. He wants to turn and see her, but she's clinging tight. "Are you just watching?"

"I was watching Cosmo."

Their dog is getting to the twilight of his life now. He's ten years old, so Rick has been keeping a careful eye out. He's still his alternately sleepy and goofy self. It's just that bit more difficult for him to jump in and out of the back of the SUV these days.

"He looks pretty good. Enthusiastic." Kate comes to stand beside him instead. Her fingers lace with his and she lays her cheek to his shoulder. "Don't hover, babe. You'll jinx him."

She's right. Rick turns to see his wife and he steals a kiss from her happy mouth. It was a big year for both of them. He had a party for his sixtieth with practically everybody he knows. Alexis and Kate and his mother organised it together, because they know how happy it makes him to be surrounded by people. How he feeds off of other's pleasures.

For Kate's fiftieth last month they kept it much more lowkey. Family dinner at the loft, with the Ryans and Espo and Lanie and their families. All of the people Kate loves most dearly. She's gorgeous still, of course. Slender and graceful and letting strands of grey thread through her hair. There's a timeless class about her now that reminds him of Audrey Hepburn or Ingrid Bergman.

"Snowing." Kate tips her head towards the window. Sure enough, fat snowflakes are drifting down. It doesn't make much of a difference when there's so much snow already laying, but it's beautiful to watch. "Wanna go out in it?"

"Not at all," he says immediately. She laughs and wraps both arms around his bicep, pleased with him. "It's cold out there. And Jim has them busy. I want to enjoy you."

"Oh do you now?" She arches an eyebrow at him.

He growls and goes for her mouth, his hands at her hipbones. He's clumsy with yearning, but Kate's soft kisses gentle him. She tastes like hot cocoa and he moans into her mouth. Kate lifts onto tiptoe in her socked feet, her body surging against his. Her arms slide around his neck and she hums, angling her jaw to deepen the kiss.

The French door opens and a rush of cold air comes howling inside the cabin. They break apart and Kate peeks around him to see what's causing the interruption.

"Mom, I think Cosmo's cold. Can he come in?"

"Of course he can," Kate tells Jake.

Their soft, sweet boy has the dog's leash tight in his gloved fist. Cosmo is wearing snow booties and his grey fleece jacket, looking distinctly unhappy about it. Their son comes inside the cabin and brings the dog with him.

"Can you help him with his coat? We're doing a contest for who's fastest to split the log."

Rick winces and darts a glance outside, but Jim has Reece under control. Their son is adventurous, but they're both wary of that spirited streak tipping over into recklessness. Jake has already hurried back outside to join his siblings.

The dog stands just inside the doorway, dripping snow onto the hardwood and staring at them with huge, doleful eyes.

"Alright, alright." Kate kneels down beside Cosmo and unfastens his coat, easing it off his skinny body. The boots are next and once they're off Cosmo shifts his weight from foot to foot, as if remembering what the floor feels like under his bare paws.

"I hope they hurry up and get the fire going," Rick grumbles.

Since April, since he's officially been in his sixties, he's been wary of becoming a grumpy old man. His wife assures him that that won't happen, that he's not old and he finds too much joy in life to ever be so miserable. It does help to have her so earnest and beautiful, reminds him of all his many blessings.

"Remember when we were here as newlyweds?" Kate comes back to him and tucks her body in close to his. "And I taught you how to light the fire?"

"You sure did," he leers at her, earning himself a twitch of amusement at one corner of her mouth. That first New Years as her husband was fifteen years ago now, but he still remembers every detail. Sometimes when they're alone together in the cabin he imagines he can see the spectres of their younger selves dancing together in the kitchen or lazing in the bath.

Kate is studying him, her head tilted to one side. After a moment she smiles like she's delighted with him. "I fell even harder for you over those few days. Snow madness, I think."

"Must have been," he grins back. When he kisses her the curious work of her fingertips at his ear makes him shiver. They break apart again on a sigh and she pushes on his shoulder until he sits on the couch.

Cosmo takes it as an invitation and hops up to drape himself over their bodies. Rick scratches behind the dog's ears and Kate wraps her hand around his paw and squeezes.

After a little while, Jim and the kids come back inside. They're all freezing, puffing the cold out of their lungs and stamping their numb feet. Lily has her hair in two braids, a wooly hat on her head. She's smiling, a rare sight these days. Her braces make her awkward and reluctant, but she's as beautiful as her mother.

"Hey, Lilypad. Did you win the contest?"

"No, peanut did. It's okay." She shrugs, already whipping out her cell phone to check for any missed texts. There's no wifi here, which their daughter had wailed about when they planned their trip, and a patchy at best cell reception.

It's been wonderful to see her with her nose in a book again, or writing in her journal. She's fiercely protective over it, especially with Rick. He doesn't even get to see any of the creative prompts she does for English class. She lets Kate read them sometimes, but never him. It stings, but he understands.

Lily flops into an armchair and dangles her legs over the side. Her thumbs move furiously over the keypad as she texts and her feet swing, her heels thudding against the side of the chair. Kate untangles herself from beneath the dog and goes to collect everybody's wet shoes and coats, arranging everything on the airer to go in front of the fire later.

The boys are setting up for another Nerf battle, part of the war that's been raging since they received the guns for their birthday in January. Their fights have gotten more and more complex in the following eleven months. Jake is building a barricade out of dining chairs, and Reece is scribbling on what looks like a map of the cabin's layout.

"Dad, can you help me?" he calls out.

Rick heaves himself off the couch, his ageing bones protesting. Every time he stands up now that old skiing injury in his knee pops in protest. It's not painful, not exactly. More like awareness. The sands of time, he calls it, and Kate sighs at him.

He debates for a minute, and then shrugs and gets right down onto the floor with his son. Reece might have to help haul him up again later, but it'll be worth it. "What's up, peanut?"

"I'm doing my plan of attack. Jake won the last battle and I don't wanna lose again."

Rick spends the next fifteen minutes plotting out various strategies and routes through the cabin. Reece is a clumsy oaf of a boy, too tall to keep all of his limbs in order. He's never really going to have stealth on his side, but Rick figures out a couple of ways he can get the drop on his brother.

"Thanks, Dad," Reece says once they have multiple plans all outlined in different colours. "I'm glad you're on my team."

He startles and darts a glance to Jake, not wanting to upset him. Instead, he finds Kate helping their son arrange the dining chairs for maximum protection. Fair enough, then. He's team Reece and she's team Jake. The boys are raring to start the battle, but Kate insists that they get a fire going first.

Jim gathers all three kids by the hearth and walks them through it step by step. It gives them a moment away from prying eyes and Rick laces his fingers with his wife's and leads her to their bedroom. He backs her up against the door and slides a knee between her thighs, opening his mouth at the hollow of her throat. Her hips snap upwards against his and she makes a needy, breathy sound.

"Rick, babe, please. Not fair."

"I can't help it," he says into her jaw. "You're such a great mom. Makes me hot for you."

Kate's fingers sift through his hair, her nails scratching at his scalp. His eyes slam closed and he drops his head to her collar bone. He knows it's cruel of him, that they can't start anything right now, but his guts ache with need.

"I'm so glad I married you," Kate says. She tugs on his ears until he lifts his head to see her. "How you love me, all of us. . .you're amazing."

"Ditto, honey," he says. She accepts his kiss and the splay of his wide hand at her side, but when his tongue touches the seam of her mouth she breaks away from him.

"Our kids are out there. My dad."

"Our dog."

"Right." She lays her palms flat against his chest to hold him off. "I love you so much, Rick Castle, but I need you to keep your hands off me."

She says it so seriously that he can't help the spill of laughter out of him. It makes her laugh too, shaking her head at herself. He kisses her cheek, smooth and warm. "Yes, ma'am."

When they emerge from the bedroom the kids have managed to get the fire going. They rush to tell their parents all about it, talking loudly over the top of one another. Jim is in the armchair, Cosmo curled up in his lap like a much smaller dog.

"Okay, okay, one at a time," Kate says. She sits on the couch and the kids crowd around her, taking it in turn to tell her about the part they had in setting the fire.

Rick heads for the kitchen to fix some hot cocoa for everybody. While he works, he listens to the sweet voices of his children and the more melodious, richer tone of his wife. She makes them feel so important, so valued. They always have her undivided attention. He doesn't know how she does that.

"Dad!" Jake calls out and he turns to see his son. "Come back. You're missing family time."

"Coming, my man." He takes a second, takes a couple of deep breaths, and then he can join them once again.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15 - 2030**

* * *

Kate is curled up on the couch with a cup of coffee and a book. It's a lazy afternoon, the best kind. Her husband is in the office, bent double over his laptop as he finishes the final edits for his next book. He retired Nikki a few years back and he has a new character now. When he first decided to let Nikki live out the rest of her days in peace he had worried that Kate would be offended, but she understands completely. It's time for him to move on from the character. It doesn't mean he's moving on from her.

"Mom? Can I curl up with you?"

"Of course you can, baby."

Kate lifts up the edge of her blanket to make a space for Jake. His eyes are red and raw looking. She sifts her fingers through his hair, making it stand up all over his head at different angles. Jake lays his head to her chest and lets out a staccato breath.

"Christmas is going to be weird."

"It will," she agrees. Kate tucks the blanket in a little tighter around her sweet, huge-hearted boy.

Six weeks ago, Martha had a massive heart attack. She was gone before the paramedics even got to the theatre. She died surrounded by her fellow actors, at the afterparty of one of the most successful shows of her career. She won a Tony for the performance, and Rick has it displayed proudly in his office now. She was eighty eight years old, and she had a rich and full life. Still, they're all wounded. All grieving in their different ways.

"I really miss Gram," Jake confesses.

He's been the most open with his pain. Reece has been surly and selfish, spending all of his time holed up in the boys' room on his computer. Lily has been spending more time than usual at her friends' houses. Rick has written more these past six weeks than Kate has ever known him to. And Kate has been rereading her husband's novels, using them as a crutch to handle the loss of her mother in law just as she did for her own mother's death so many years ago.

"It's okay to miss her, sweet boy. It's okay to be sad. But Gram wouldn't want us to have a miserable Christmas, would she?"

"No. She loved Christmas."

Kate laughs softly and holds her son tighter. "She did. I think that's where Dad gets it from, don't you?"

He nods, the crown of his head bumping against her chin. The twins are not quite eleven. Not quite emotionally equipped to work through things themselves. There's been a lot of hugs lately. A lot of clinginess from Jake, as if he's terrified it's going to be Kate or Rick he loses next.

"Mom, can we do something to remember Gram? Something she'd like?"

"That's a really good idea. What sort of thing were you thinking of?"

Jake chews on his lip, his nose wrinkled. "I don't know. Maybe a theatre thing."

"A long time ago, Dad started a scholarship in Grandma Johanna's name. So that students who wanted to dedicate themselves to justice could have help to do so. And Gram has her acting school. Maybe we could combine the two?"

"Yeah!" Jake struggles upright. His elbow digs into her stomach for balance and she grunts, has to breathe slowly until he gets off her. "We could have a scholarship so that a student could go to Gram's acting school for free."

Warm fingers at Kate's cheek make her startle and she tips her head back. Rick is leaning over the back of the couch and he kisses her forehead.

"Hey, you two. What's going on?"

"Jake wants to do something special to honour Gram."

Rick comes around the couch and sits at the opposite end, hauling Kate's feet into his lap. He wraps an enormous hand around them, his thumb stroking along the line of her bare toes. Their son is about to burst out of his skin with enthusiasm now and he bounces on the spot.

"Mom told me about Grandma Johanna's scholarship. Could we do one for Gram?"

"That's a great idea, my man. She split her money between the school and her four grandchildren, so there's lots to work with."

Jake claps his hands and leaps off the couch. From the armchair, Cosmo lifts his head to watch Jake go charging past towards the stairs. He calls something behind him about telling Reece and Lily the plan and then he disappears.

"Did you get your edits done?" Kate sits up and knee-walks down the couch to her husband. He's in sweatpants, apparently not planning on leaving the loft today. Neither is she, so she won't begrudge him his laziness.

"Mostly. Kind of reached the stage where whatever I change now I'll just end up changing back later."

Kate slides her arms around his middle and props her chin on his shoulder. "And how are you holding up?"

"Okay. I don't feel very Christmassy. Not sure it's going to happen this year."

"Oh, babe, I know," she soothes.

He turns over his shoulder to see her. Like this she only catches a shard of his face, the craggy outline of his profile. It's enough that she can press a kiss to the corner of his mouth, though. She's had to work hard not to baby him since Martha died. A part of her wants to wrap him up and cradle him close, not let the hurts of the world come near her so-soft husband.

"Kate," he breathes. "I can't imagine how you did this on your own. I've got four amazing kids and the most incredible wife, and it still hurts so much. It feels like something alive right here."

He lays his palm flat to his chest. She knows exactly what he means, how it feels like the beast of grief is lurking in the cage of your ribs.

"I wasn't on my own. I had you, even then."

She gestures towards his book, discarded at the other end of the couch. It makes him smile and he shifts until he's facing her properly. Like this, he can capture her face in his palms and take a proper kiss from her. Kate keeps it soft, mindful that their kids will reappear any second now.

"I wish I knew you then."

"No you don't. I was miserable, and wounded. I would have broken us straight away. And hey, things turned out alright, didn't they?"

"More than." He gives her that goofy, lopsided grin that she cherishes.

Thundering footsteps cascade down the stairs and all three kids come charging into the living room. They pile onto the couch, a jumble of gangly knees and elbows until everyone is settled. It's a rare thing these days, to have all three of them together at once.

"Dad, Jakey says you're gonna set up a scholarship for a student at Gram's school?"

"It seems like a really fitting way to honour her memory, don't you think?"

"Yeah," Lily nods enthusiastically and her two braids whip around her head. "I think she'd really like that."

They spend the next hour or so planning how the scholarship will work, and a fundraiser much like the one Rick hosted for Kate's mother all those years ago. It heals something in all of them, to spend time as a family remembering Martha and all that she embodied for them.

After dinner the kids disappear back upstairs to do their own thing. It makes Kate's heart ache that her babies don't want to spend time with her anymore. They're too cool to hang out with Mom. She gets it, was exactly the same herself at their age. When they're a little older she knows they'll be friends again, so she just has to ride it out for now.

"Hey, gorgeous." Rick slides his arms around her at the sink, his body crowding hers until her hips meet the counter.

She's up to her elbows in suds. They have a dishwasher, but she felt like washing the dishes by hand tonight. Something about the mechanical work of her hands helps her brain to switch off too. Kate rests back against her husband's chest and closes her eyes.

"What's wrong? You look mournful."

"I miss your mom. I miss _my_ mom. Martha being gone hurts, but she was almost ninety. She did so much with her life. My mom never got to do so many things. Never saw her grandkids."

It's unfair of her to unload this on Rick when the wound is so fresh, but she can't help herself. She aches. Freshly motherless again, she feels nineteen and foolish. Rick turns her in his arms and wraps her in a tight hug. She has to hold her hands out to the side in her rubber gloves so she doesn't wet him, but she does her best to snuggle in close.

"I'm sorry. I know it's not about me."

"Of course it's about you," he says immediately. He tugs out of their hug to frown down at her. "Everything is about you, because you're part of this family. Just like everything is about me, and about our children."

She feels the heat of it in her cheeks and she ducks her head. It's been so many years — twenty one since they met, but who's counting — and still she finds herself a little bit starstruck by him. Not the him of talk shows and red carpet appearances, but the man who _showed up_. Day after day, year after year, a solid presence at her side. She's been the same for him, she knows that, but she's still awed by how fiercely he loves her.

"It makes it easier. To have lost her. She was ready, Kate. These last few months. . .I don't know how, but I feel like she knew. She was treating that performance as her last."

"She went out with a bang," Kate smiles in spite of herself. "Just how she would have wanted it."

Rick tucks her hair back behind her ear. She needs to touch him, suddenly. Kate peels off the gloves and dumps them behind herself on the countertop. Surging onto tiptoe, she frames his face in her hands and kisses him. In it, she pours both her grief and her gratitude that she doesn't have to walk this darkest of roads alone. Neither of them do.

"Leave the dishes," he tells her. "Come sit with me. I want to snuggle."

"You always want to snuggle," she laughs, but she goes.

He crowds her on the couch, drawing her legs into his lap. His fingertips knead the meet of her thigh and the first stirrings of something awaken low in her guts. Kate lays her cheek to his shoulder and fiddles with the buttons of his shirt.

"Do you know how I knew that you were the one I'd been waiting my whole life for?" he asks.

It's not quite what she was expecting and she sits up to peer at him. He has that strange, far away look on his face that he gets when he talks about the early days of their partnership.

"How?"

"When I saw you with my mother and Alexis. You fit so easily into my family. Remember when we went to that charity auction, and the next morning you came for breakfast."

"I came to return Martha's jewellery," she corrects. "I was coerced into breakfast."

He doesn't seem too bothered by the details. He waves a hand at her and she catches it, holds it to her chest for safekeeping.

"You told them all about our evening, and they were both just rapt. Both entranced by you, Kate Beckett. That was when I first knew that if you ever gave in and let me love you, it was going to be for keeps."

This man. This peculiar, wonderful man. Kate kisses the jut of his chin and lets him have his hand back. "I loved your mother for who she was. Brave and fierce and loyal. And, Rick, I loved her for raising an incredible man all on her own."

"She loved you, too. The fact that I found happiness with you was her greatest joy. And those children. Kept her young until the very end."

Kate suddenly wishes they had something they could toast with. Empty handed, she settles for kissing her husband once more. Hoping that somewhere up there, Martha is keeping watch over her legacy and she and Johanna are bonding over their shared family.


	16. Chapter 16

**December 16 - 2031**

* * *

His body is weary. Travelling always wipes him out these days, so for the entire tour he has been grumbling and exhausted. Getting across town from the airport was a trial, but he's here now. The doorman offered to help him upstairs with his luggage but he's not that old, thank you. He managed.

The moment Rick opens the front door the children charge at him. It reminds him of when they were very small, and an afternoon of meetings was enough to make them overjoyed when he came home. Now that they're older — Lily is a _freshman_ — they're a bit too cool to show their enthusiasm most of the time. Apparently three and a half weeks is their tipping point, because they're crowding him so that he can't even get inside.

"How was your trip, Dad?" Lily asks him. She's got her arms around his neck and he hugs her back, dropping his suitcase in the entryway so he can pick her up and spin her around.

The boys are clamouring to feed the birds with him and he offers them his pressed together fingers. All three kids are noisy and chattering. Lily is as gracious as always, taking his coat and scarf and hanging them in the hall closet. She offers her arm for him to lean on while he unfastens his shoes. It reminds him of his mother, all class and elegance. A young woman already, and his heart aches for the tiny girl they have lost to time.

"My trip was great. I missed you guys. Where's your mother?"

"She had to run to the store. She's cooking something special for you," Jake tells him.

His sons are almost as tall as their sister already. Almost as tall as _him_ , which they think is hilarious. Rick ruffles Jake's hair and gets a disgruntled sigh in return. He's more particular about his appearance than Reece, gets his hair cut every two weeks like clockwork. He smoothes it back down immediately and steps neatly out of arm's reach so Rick can't mess it up again.

He comes further into the loft to make himself comfortable. It's not quite the same without Cosmo's long, skinny body coming to nudge him. For just a moment, a flare of grief burns sharply in his chest. It passes, as it always does, and he carries on towards the kitchen.

"I'll put your bag in your room, Dad."

"Thanks peanut," he calls out.

Jake and Lily are hovering, waiting to hear all about his adventures on the European leg of his book tour. His publisher has been pushing him to drive Christmas sales, so he's done signings and talk show appearances all over Europe these past few weeks. He told his family quite a lot when they Skyped every couple of days, and the kids have been keeping track of him on social media. Even so, he kind of wants to wait until Kate is home so he can tell them all together.

His kids hoist themselves up onto the barstools and watch as he potters around the kitchen. He grabs a bottle of water from the refrigerator, a banana from the fruit bowl, and comes to lean over the other side of the island.

"How was school today?"

"Turns out when you're a freshman, you don't have Christmas week." Lily wrinkles her nose. She has deep shadows under her eyes, and her braids are more dishevelled than usual. "I had two tests and a project due."

Rick comes around the counter and embraces his daughter. She sags against his chest immediately and he palms the back of her head, his lips at her crown. "I know honey. High school is tough going. It'll be break so soon, though."

"But I'll have so much homework over break," she wails.

"Talk to your sister. It's not that long really since Alexis was in high school. I'm sure she'll have lots of advice for you."

Lily sighs and breaks out of the hug. "But Lex is super smart."

"You're super smart," he fires right back. "That's a Beckett brain in your beautiful head, Lilypad. I know that you can handle anything high school throws at you."

She grumbles, but she does look a little bit brighter. He and Kate are doing their best not to be too strict about school. They make sure their kids work hard and pay attention in class, but they've also implemented a mental health day. They're each allowed two a semester, where they can stay home from school and recharge if they need it. It's only happened once or twice, but Rick thinks just the confidence of knowing they have the option is enough to push them through the harder weeks.

Reece comes back from the bedroom and climbs onto the stool next to his brother. He's been hooked on some app on his phone lately and he pulls it out of his pocket immediately, head bowed at the screen. Jake leans over his shoulder to see as well and the two boys chatter about the new levels that were released yesterday. They're not quite twelve, and Rick and Kate have clashed heads over whether they're too young to have cell phones. Rick argues that in this city, it's necessary for them to be able to contact the boys. Kate is less eager, but she gave in as long as they have an hour in the evening with no technology allowed.

Rick settles on the last stool and eats the banana, acclimating to family life again. He has always hated the empty hotel rooms with their depressingly similar furnishings, but now that he has a whole wonderful family waiting at home for him he aches every time he's away from them. Even now with his kids here, a part of him is restless without his wife home as well.

When the front door finally opens and Kate steps inside, all four of them orient towards her. She's got a brown paper grocery bag in one arm and she closes the door behind herself with her hip. When she sees him she smiles and strides towards him.

He stands up from the stool to meet her. Kate dumps the groceries on the counter and fists her hands in the collar of his sweater. Lifting onto tiptoe in her flat sneakers, she kisses him fiercely. He clutches at her, his hands traversing the column of her spine and delving inside her scarf in search of warm skin.

"Hi," she breathes when they separate. "Missed you."

"Missed you too. All of you. So much."

He had wanted to bring them with him, but the kids couldn't miss that much school. Kate's a senator now, so she didn't want to be away from their city for such a long time. He had to leave them at the airport gate in the bleary-eyed morning. The kids had still been in their pajamas underneath their coats and shoes. Their round, pale faces had watched him walk away and he had missed them before he was even gone.

"I'm making a pot roast. Had to get some more onions for the gravy."

"God, I love you." He rests his hands at her hips and draws her in to him again, steals another kiss. She's a laughing, quicksilver creature in his arms and the next moment she's gone entirely.

The boys are absorbed in their phones, but Lily meets his eyes and then flushes bright pink and looks away again. She props her chin in her hands and traces patterns in the condensation of his bottled water. Their daughter had her first kiss a few weeks back at a party. She told Kate about it, a rare girlish moment of insecurity that only her mother could help her with.

Kate told him the bare bones of the situation because he was worried about his little girl. Worried enough that he couldn't even muster a joke, his face slack with concern. His wife had kissed the jut of his chin and promised him that Lily was fine, and smart. And not dating the boy, which makes him surly, but he's not about to be the one to bring it up.

"Sorry, Lilypad. Didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"S'fine." She shrugs, but she manages to look at him again. "Dad, now that you're back can we talk more about my Christmas present?"

A sighing breath escapes him and he looks to his wife for moral support, finds her fastening an apron around her waist. She's so beautiful all domestic like this and he moves to stand beside her at the stove. United front and all that.

"You know what Mom said. We need to adapt to a dog-less household and acclimatise before we think about adopting another one. Make sure it's really going to be suitable."

"Some people are afraid of dogs," Jake pipes up. "But Lily is afraid of the absence of dogs. A dog-less space is her greatest fear, Dad."

Reece scowls and elbows his brother. "You saw that on the internet."

"Still true," Jake fires back. That is, apparently, the extent of their contribution because they both return their focus to their phones once more.

"Sometimes you have meetings, and Mom is at work and the boys are at some club. And I come home from school and the loft is just. . ." Lily casts her arms about herself. "Empty. I need a dog, Dad. Please."

It doesn't feel fair that all of the pleading is directed at him. After all, he would love to get another dog. He misses Cosmo just as much as Lily does. When the kids are at school and his wife at work all day, the dog was a happy little shadow asleep on the couch in his office while he worked. It's because Lily and the boys know that he's more easily persuaded than Kate, more likely to give in.

"It's not going to happen for Christmas, Lily Anna," Kate says firmly. Their daughter's face crumples and Kate leans over the counter top, takes her hand. "But let's come back to it for your birthday, hmm?"

April is four months away, and Rick and Kate watch Lily chew on that time period. She decides it's acceptable and she nods, a smile tugging at one corner of her mouth as if a puppet string is stitched there.

"What can I do to help?" Rick asks. Kate waves him off, content to finish dinner by herself.

Even so, he's not about to stray far from her. He's had quite enough distance over the last few weeks. He tries not to hover and get in her way, leaning back against the edge of the countertop to watch her work. She's methodical, something like art in the way she handles the knife and scrapes the diced onions into a pot.

"How were they?" he says, careful to keep his voice low.

It rumbles in his throat and Kate's lashes dip to touch her cheeks. The pink tip of her tongue darts out to wet her lips. In profile like this she's so very lovely. He spent so many years watching her from the end of her desk that something in the slope of her nose and the sharp edge of her jaw feels like coming home.

"Good. It's. . .not easy. Doing it alone. But we coped. Helps that they're that bit older."

"I'm sorry I left you."

She laughs and puts down her spoon. Turning to him, she slides her arms low around his waist and crowds him against the counter. Her lips form a kiss against the fabric of his shirt. "You didn't leave me, babe. You were right on the other end of the phone the whole time."

"That should tide Europe over for the next few years at least." He kisses the top of her head and she steps away from him again.

This time when she goes back to cooking, he gives her space to work. He comes around to his daughter at the island instead. Lily has a notepad in front of her with a bunch of lists. Peering over her shoulder, he sees that she's laying out the various qualities they're looking for in a dog.

"I'm sorry we couldn't make it work for Christmas."

"That's okay, Dad." She turns a smile up to him and sets her pen down. "My birthday is good too. Maybe by then Mom will even miss having a dog so much that she really wants to get another one."

Kate scoffs and points her spoon at them. "Don't make me the bad guy, Lily Castle. I already miss having a dog. I just want to be sure before we dive in."

"That's your mother's speciality," he tells Lily, but he's still looking at Kate. "Waiting to be sure. But don't worry, sweet girl. It always turns out perfect in the end."

* * *

 **A/N:** Sorry about two sad ones in a row! It's not all doom and gloom from here on out, I promise. Things cheer up after this.


	17. Chapter 17

**December 17 - 2032**

* * *

It is the seventeenth of December, and they still haven't put their decorations up. Earlier in the month Kate came down with a stomach flu that she passed on to both of the twins. Lily spent the week staying at Grandpa's house so she wouldn't catch it too, and Rick wore himself out taking care of the three of them. After that, time just got away from them. She was snowed in at the office trying to catch up, and although she told Rick to go ahead and decorate without her he refused. Said it's family tradition that they all do it together.

Today's the day. They put a tree on reserve way back, so at least they don't need to worry that the lot will be empty. Rick and Jake have gone with Kate's father in his truck to pick it up and bring it back to the loft. Reece and Lily stayed behind. They're supposed to be helping, and Reece is doing his best, but Lily is distracted.

"Pip! Drop it. Drop it, baby girl. Come on. Put it down."

The dog lets go of the end of the tinsel and her wagging butt drops to the floor. She cocks her head at them, one enormous ear folded over at the top. Back at the end of March, Ryan had let Kate know that one of the puppies bred to be a police dog had failed the initial assessment. She was born with hip dysplasia that meant she wasn't fit to be a working dog.

Kate took Lily to meet the puppy one afternoon, and her daughter was instantly smitten. The puppy was equally in love, a little furry nugget of joy that wriggled in Lily's arms and licked her face. They didn't tell Rick or the boys what they were doing, wanting to surprise them. When they walked in the door with the dog her husband's jaw had dropped. They shared a look over the top of Lily's head.

 _Sorry I didn't tell you_.

 _Worth the surprise_.

She was forgiven just like that, and Rick and the twins fell in love with the dog from the very first moment they knew her. Lily was in a Dickens phase at the time, still is really, so she named their dog Pip and just like that, she was woven into the tapestry of their family.

They got Pip into hydrotherapy right away and her hip dysplasia only bothers her now if she's been doing a ton of exercise. Most days she's a happy, healthy puppy.

"I'm sorry, Mom. Everything is so shiny and sparkly. She just wants to play with it."

Kate can't be mad. Not with her daughter standing there in her most hideous Christmas jumper and the dog running circles around their legs. "It's okay, Lilypad. Hopefully she'll just need some time to get used to everything and then she'll settle down."

From the box of miscellaneous decorations, Reece pulls out a musical reindeer ornament. It wiggles back and forth and plays a song. "I'm thinking we should leave this one out this year?"

"Good plan, peanut."

He drops it back into the box and carries on rummaging through. Kate took charge of the lights because she's the only one of the five of them who can manage to untangle them without getting frustrated and giving up. They're twinkling in the windows and around the bannister already, and she has the strands to go on the tree laid out along the length of the sofa.

Her phone vibrates in her back pocket and she pulls it out, swipes to accept the call. "Hi babe."

"Ew, Mom. Please."

"Sorry Jakey," she laughs. "Everything okay with you guys?"

"We're in the lobby. It's not going to fit on the elevator, so we're carrying it upstairs. Dad says, can you open the front door."

Kate takes a moment to be a mom and nag her son, make sure that her husband and her father aren't going to over exert themselves. She gets a lot of sighs from Jake, and then he says he has to go and hangs up.

"Guys, they're on their way up with the tree. Can you make sure the stand is ready?"

Reece and Lily set to work arranging the tree stand just so, and Kate waits by the open door for the rest of her family. The tree appears first, like something out of Macbeth, and then her husband rounds the corner. His cheeks are pink with cold and exertion but he grins widely at her and picks up the pace.

Jake is in the middle and her father has the trunk of the tree. He looks so happy to be included, to be useful, that all of her worrying dies on her lips. They carry the tree inside the loft and Kate follows them in. She has to herd Pip back through the door but she manages to get it closed without the dog wriggling past her.

Everybody hovers around the tree and six sets of hands help to get it in place in the tree stand. Rick and the twins hold it upright and Kate and Lily tighten the screws to keep the tree firmly secure. Kate's father is holding the dog back. She's barking like a lunatic at the strange invasion of her territory, straining against Jim's hold on her. Even as a puppy she's strong, and a flare of concern burns white hot in Kate's gut. Her dad has it under control though, so she refocuses on the tree.

"Everybody happy? Look straight?" Rick checks.

Once he has everyone's approval he cuts the netting away from the tree. The branches spring outwards and the tree wobbles a bit, but it stays upright. It's nine feet, and wide too. It takes up a not insignificant portion of their living room, but all three kids and her husband are lit up with wonder.

"Good choice." Kate squeezes her husband's fingers, pleased with him. Grateful, too, that she and her father can find joy in decorating for Christmas rather than the hurt they once knew.

They spend the next couple of hours getting the tree perfect. They have three strands of lights, garlands and then boxes and boxes of ornaments. The sugar cookie tree decorations they all made a few years back are all carefully wrapped in paper and Lily takes charge of hanging them all. She's so cautious with the delicate ornaments. So grown up already.

Once everything is in its place and they've got as many ornaments and other decorations onto the tree as they can, they switch on the lights. Lily gasps, like she does every year, but Kate can hardly blame her. It's gorgeous all lit up in the dusk like this.

Everybody else dissipates, busying themselves with the last of the decorations, but Kate stays by Rick's side. The tiny, vibrant lights of the tree reflect off of his glasses. Kate kisses his cheek, the rough edge of his jaw.

"Okay?"

"Of course." His hand finds hers, their palms kissing and his too-wide fingers threading through hers. "It's beautiful.

She lays her cheek to his shoulder, her silly, tender-hearted man. He needs a moment or two to soak it in. Once he's done, he turns to smile at her and clears his throat. "What's left to do?"

"Stockings!" Reece shouts from over by the boxes.

They don't have a mantel to hang them from. Instead, Rick had the genius idea to use invisible wire and suspend them from the ceiling. He's the one who really knows what he's doing, but the boys help him and Jim oversees.

Pip is keeping one watchful eye on the tree and every now and then she growls low in her throat. Lily is sitting on the floor with the dog, stroking her silky head and murmuring softly to her.

"It's okay, Pippa. You're okay, baby girl. It's not gonna hurt you."

"Why don't we take her out to burn off some energy?"

Lily startles and one hand flies to her chest. She tips her head backwards to see Kate and gives her an upside down smile. "Just me and you?"

"Sure, sweet girl. Let's go on a coffee run."

She hops up and busies herself finding shoes and a coat and the dog's leash. Rick is at the top of a ladder and Kate waits patiently for him to come back down so she can tell him the plan.

"Lily and I are gonna take the dog out and get some coffee. Mocha for you?"

"Ooh, yes." He captures her face in his palms and leaves a noisy kiss on her lips. "You're perfect and I love you."

Kate rolls her eyes, but twin spots of embarrassed colour are burning high up in her cheeks. She pats his chest and straightens the crooked collar of his flannel shirt. "Okay, weirdo. Boys, cocoa?" She gets an enthusiastic approval, and a request for espresso from her father.

The dog comes charging towards them, her leash flying along behind her like a kite string. Rick crouches to intercept her and she skids to a halt, sitting down in spite of herself.

"Now, Pipsqueak," he says, and the dog cocks her head. "You behave yourself out there in the big wide world. Listen to Lily."

The dog leaps up and licks Rick's face, her tail thumping against the floor. She's so big already and she's not done growing yet. Kate does worry that if the dog spots something on the other side of the street she could tug Lily right into the road. As a mom, she finds she worries about most things, so she's trying to set it aside.

When Kate and Lily are both bundled up warm, they head out into the city with the dog between them. Pip hops and tugs at the end of the leash, but Lily keeps a tight grip and a watchful eye out. Clouds cling to the sky overhead, the moon like a streetlamp burning through the mist.

The cafe they're aiming for is only a couple of blocks away, but they walk slowly. Pip wants to take her time and sniff every peculiar and new thing she encounters, so they stop every couple of yards to let her poke her long nose into something else.

"You know, Mom," Lily muses. "I never really appreciated how well behaved Cosmo was until we got Pipsqueak."

Kate laughs loudly into the night because it's so very true. Pip is a good dog, kind and gentle, but she's also a great deal more work than Cosmo ever was. "Well, Cosmo was already four when we got him. We didn't have to survive his puppy stage."

"I do love her," Lily says insistently, as if there was ever any doubt.

Every day when she gets home from school, Lily dumps her backpack just inside the door and loves on her dog for ten minutes or so. Pip follows her around the loft like a shadow, even sleeping at the end of her bed. Their daughter has blossomed under the responsibility of having a dog all her own. She walks Pip every day, sometimes twice, and she's working hard to train her.

"I'm really proud of you, sweetheart. You're taking such good care of her."

When they reach the coffee shop Lily waits outside with the dog while Kate orders. She's not thrilled about leaving her teenage daughter outside alone in the city — her paranoia is an occupational hazard — but she can see Lily through the glass frontage of the cafe the entire time.

The barista gives her a couple of cardboard trays to carry the six takeout cups, and she has to open the door with her elbow. Lily takes her drink from the tray straight away. She's just started getting into coffee. Rick took her on one of their Sunday adventures and when he got his seasonal peppermint mocha, Lily got one too and immediately decided it was her new favourite drink.

They round the corner and Lily gasps, stopping short. "Oh, Mom, look. It's so beautiful."

The loft is all lit up like something out of a greetings card. Their windows glow warm and inviting, and the shadows of the men they love flit around inside. From this angle they can't see the tree or anything, but it's still gorgeous.

Lily stares up at the facade of the building, taking in the magic of the season, but Kate keeps her eyes on her daughter. This part of her, finding the joy in the everyday, is so like Rick. After a little while, the dog straining and whining on the end of the leash, Lily nods and leads the way to the door of the building.

In the elevator, Lily wraps her arm and Kate's middle and snuggles in close. She can't really hug her back properly while she's balancing the tray of drinks, but she does her best. Her lips form a kiss at the crown of Lily's head. Her beautiful girl and her wide open heart.

"You okay, sweetheart?"

"Yeah. Thinking about Gram. I'm sad she never got to meet Pip. I think they would have gotten along. Two big personalities, right?"

"Right," Kate laughs. "It's hard, Lilypad, I know. And it's okay to be sad."

Lily's forehead wrinkles and her eyes linger on the ugly elevator carpet. "Even at Christmas?"

"Even at Christmas. But honey, want to know a secret?" Lily lifts her head, her eyes meeting Kate's in question. "I hated Christmas for a long time. And then I met your dad, and. . .well, it's impossible to hate anything with him around, isn't it?"

She earns herself a little smile from her daughter. When they step inside the loft, Pip heads straight for the tree and starts growling and barking at it again. Kate busies herself handing out everybody's drinks and getting out of her coat. And Lily heads straight for her father and wraps her arms tight around his middle, squeezing until he huffs a breath. He hugs her back without question, without judgement. He just holds her until she's ready to let go.


	18. Chapter 18

**December 18 - 2033**

* * *

When Rick goes upstairs to check on his sons he's not quite sure what he expected to find, but it wasn't this. At thirteen they're starting to be more self conscious about how they look, what they wear. He remembers the excruciating uphill climb through his youth. Wondering if he would be the last boy in his class to be kissed, the last one to start shaving.

He lingers in the doorway to watch them. His sons. He spent so many years just him and Alexis, and then there was his mother and then Kate and then Lily. Surrounded by women, but he liked it that way. Each of the ladies in his life was — and is — incredibly smart and kind and courageous. It never occurred to him to hope for anything more. And then Kate Beckett gave him sons.

Reece is hanging upside down off the bed, his gangly body stretched along the mattress but his head off the end and growing rapidly pinker. He's wearing jeans and no shirt, drumming his feet against his pillow. Jake is in front of the mirror, pushing up the sleeves of his Christmas sweater and then tugging them back down again.

"Almost ready, guys?"

"Dad," Jake says. Relief threads through his words and something small in Rick's chest pulls tightly. How good it is to be needed still, after so many years. "Help. I don't know what to do with my sleeves."

Rick comes further into their room and moves to stand beside his son. "Well kiddo, it's a bit more casual with them rolled up. So maybe go with that?"

He gets a nod from Jake and his son turns over the cuffs of his sweater to help it stay up past his elbows. Reece, meanwhile, has not yet deigned to move.

"Peanut. Let's go, please."

"I'm ready." Reece sits upright. His hair is spiking all over his head, but it looks purposeful for once. "Just need to put my sweater on. I didn't want to dirty it."

It's smart of him really. At least the kid is self-aware. Rick herds both boys out of the room once Reece is dressed. Lily meets them in the hallway. She's wearing a very baggy, very ugly Christmas sweater half tucked in to her skinny jeans. Somehow she looks stylish and casual and model-like all at once. So much like her mother.

When the four of them descend the stairs and hunt for their coats Pip whines low in her throat. Lily crouches down to the dog and she lays her enormous head at Lily's shoulder.

"I know, Pipsqueak. We won't be long."

The dog seems to accept that and she skulks off towards her crate. She stares mournfully at them from inside it, but she doesn't put up any more of a fuss. Rick gets the boys out the front door, has to wait for his daughter to kiss Pip's long nose one last time, and then everybody is on their way.

Their journey through the city is propelled by the knowledge that Kate is waiting for them. There's a group of carollers going around City Hall tonight to raise money for charity, and Kate signed the five of them up to take part. She said it looks good for a senator to be involved in charity, and that it would be a fun family bonding activity. Incredibly, none of the kids kicked up a fuss about it. They've done their best to raise generous, open-hearted human beings. Their kids are selfless and sweet, and pride swells in his chest.

They meet Kate outside City Hall. Her huffing breaths are made visible in the freezing weather and she shifts from foot to foot to keep warm.

"Mom!" Reece shouts, and she turns to see them. A wide, wonderful smile thins her lips and she comes down the steps to meet them at the bottom.

"Hey, guys."

"Are we late?" Lily looks anxiously around for the other carollers.

Kate laughs and hooks an arm around her daughter's shoulders, bringing her in for a hug and a kiss to her cheek. "No, baby girl. Everyone's waiting inside."

The kids start for the steps, but Rick snags the tail of Kate's scarf before she can follow. "Why aren't you inside, crazy woman?"

"Wanted to spot you coming."

Her cheeks are pink with the bite of winter and she hides her face against his neck. The frozen press of her nose to his warm skin makes him shiver, but he holds her tighter still. He never imagined that at sixty four years old his wife would still be making him feel so smitten and boyish.

Rick slides his gloved hand into hers and walks with her up the steps and into the building. The kids have been here once or twice before, but they gaze around themselves in wonder at the intricate architecture. The rest of the carollers are all wearing Santa hats and they hand one out to each of them.

"Is that gonna fit on your big head, Dad?" Reece teases. He's got his own hat artfully perched so it doesn't flatten his hair and it makes his ears poke out like an elf.

A grumble escapes Rick and he pushes on his son's shoulder. It does actually take more effort than he'd like to get the hat to fit on his head, and Kate gives him a sympathetic look. He remembers when Lily was born, how Kate had cursed the Castle head, but there's affection in the way her thumb smoothes over his ear now.

"Senator Beckett, good to see you again." An older man holds out his hand to Kate and she shakes it. There's something physical in her that shifts when she's in senator mode, some core of professional steel that fortifies the length of her spine.

"You too, Senator North. You remember my husband, Richard Castle."

Something about the man does seem vaguely familiar. As a senator, Kate attends just as many public events as Rick does for his novels. More, probably. He frequently accompanies her, so pleased and proud to be on her arm.

"Rick," he shakes the senator's hand.

"And these are our children, Lily, Reece, and Jake." Kate gestures to each of the kids in turn and they each shake the senator's hand as well. They make polite small talk with him for a little while. He marvels at how much Lily resembles her mother, how handsome their twin sons are.

When he eventually excuses himself all three kids sag with relief. They're very good at being model children when they need to be, turning it on and off as required, but he knows that being around Kate's colleagues makes them shy and self-conscious.

"It's okay, guys," Kate tells them. "Charity evening. The point is to have a good time. And there's no photographers or anything. Just be you."

The boys brighten immediately, happy to be given permission to goof off, but Lily chews on her lip. Somebody calls Kate over, and Rick has the opportunity to check up on his daughter.

"Alright, Lilypad?"

"Yeah. I just. . .don't want to embarrass Mom at her work." She shrugs, made awkward by how fiercely she loves her mother.

Rick rests his hand at the ball of her shoulder and squeezes. "Sweetheart, you could never embarrass Mom. She's so proud of you. You've seen the pictures in her office."

She manages a small nod, but she's still fiddling with the cuff of her sweater.

"And anyway," he continues. "This isn't even her work. She's here to raise some money for charity and to have a good time carolling. And that's all she's expecting from you."

Kate is still talking to someone, but he feels the scope of her awareness expand to include them. He peers at Lily's face to make sure that she's really okay. Satisfied, he nods at Kate and she comes striding back to them in her tall boots.

"We're doing _Hark the Herald Angels_ first, baby. Your favourite."

"Oh, good." Lily perks up then and wanders off in search of her brothers. It can be hard for her sometimes. The twins are so close, and it can seem as if there's no room for their big sister, but they always manage to involve Lily in whatever they're doing.

Now that a small, private space has been carved out for them Kate hooks her arm through his and steps in close. "What was that about?"

"She was worried about embarrassing you in front of your colleagues."

"What?" Kate startles. She tries to whip around to stare at their daughter but he keeps a tight hold on her. Eventually she stops straining against his grip and twists back around to face him. "Castle. What?"

He smiles and kisses his wife's aghast mouth, not caring that they're in plain sight of several senators. She kisses him back and toys with the edge of his scarf.

"She's sixteen years old," he tells her. "She's a junior. I think she's insecure about quite a lot of things."

"But, God- look at her."

He follows Kate's gaze to see their daughter. She's struck up a conversation with the organiser, a charity representative. As they talk Lily gives the man her full attention, engaged and interested in what he has to say. Sometimes he worries about her wide-open heart and how wicked the world can be, but she's strong. Her softness is a choice, something she battles fiercely to hold on to.

The guy in charge claps his hands together. Apparently everybody that signed up is here now. He organises everybody into a group and hands out sheets with the song lyrics on them. Lily is at the front, still hovering near the guy, and the boys are on the other side of the crowd with Senator Everett's pretty young niece.

"Leave them," Kate tells him and a hand reaches out to halt him. "Harmless. Come stand with me."

They lurk near the back of the group, tall enough that they can see over the top of most people's heads. Everybody moves in unison. They make their way down the corridors of City Hall, stopping outside each office for thirty seconds or so. All along the hallway, people poke their heads out of their offices to see. Everybody puts money in their buckets and sticks around to watch.

After they've visited most of the offices they move back down to the lobby for the last few songs. The mayor himself comes downstairs to watch for a little while, and puts a thick wad of cash into a bucket that Lily has somehow wound up holding. She thanks him with a nod of her head and a smile and he smiles widely back, smitten with her

Once they finish the last song they receive a scattering of applause from the people watching. The guy in charge collects the buckets and seals them up, and the kids come bounding back over to them.

"Mom!" Lily beams, and Rick grumbles. "Sorry. You too, Dad. Guess what? Matt said I'm welcome to volunteer with these guys any time. He took my number and he said he'll call me next time they're planning a fundraiser."

"You want to volunteer with the Robin Hood Foundation?" Rick questions.

Enthusiasm is spilling out of his daughter in waves and she bounces on her toes, her hands clasped. "Yeah, I really do. Is that okay?"

"Of course it is. That'll look great on your college transcript, honey. Only, are you sure you're gonna have time? You've got a lot of extracurriculars already."

She levels him with a look. "This is important, Dad."

"Yeah, Dad." Kate nudges him with her elbow and pokes out her tongue. "I'm really proud of you, Lily. Just make sure you don't get burned out."

This happy, light-filled girl in front of them looks as if that's an impossibility, but they know better. Last spring, Lily almost collapsed under the pressure of her finals and all of the other things she does to pad out her college applications.

She rushes off away from them to chat to the other members of the group. Kate kisses his shoulder through his sweater. "We can't stop her, babe. We can only be here if she crashes."

"I don't want her to be hurting," he grumbles.

"Look at her," Kate laughs. They both turn to see their daughter laughing with a couple of elderly ladies from the carolling group. Her eyes are crinkled, her smile wide. "She's not hurting."


	19. Chapter 19

**December 19 - 2034**

* * *

"Mom, can you please get a move on."

Kate narrows her eyes at her son in the mirror. Jake is laying on his stomach on her bed, his chin propped in the cup of his hands. He drums his feet against the pillows and sighs at her.

"Kiddo, I just got home. Give me five minutes."

She had a long and taxing day and all she wants to do is take off her makeup and take her contacts out. Her son is restless and whiny, reminding her of himself as a toddler. It's not like she's being slow on purpose. She's just tired, and her body feels heavy. The last thing she wants to do is drive across town, but these kids are her beating heart and she can't ever say no to them.

Kate changes into yoga pants and a sweater because she's not intending to get out of the car. Her glasses on and her hair scraped into a ponytail, she finally allows Jake to herd her to the front door.

"Bye, peanut!' she calls up the stairs, gets a grunt in response.

Lily is skiing up in Vermont over the weekend with her best friend's family. It's too quiet without her around. The silence of the loft rings out like a harbinger of what's to come. This time next year, their baby girl will be in college. Even with their twin sons around, Lily's absence throws off the whole family equilibrium.

In the elevator down to the parking garage, Jake chats to her about his plans with his buddy. They're going to do a movie marathon apparently, and also shoot some videos for the kid's social media pages. He's apparently quite popular online, and a flare of white hot concern burns in Kate's guts.

Her son is fine, and he's sensible, and that's not their life anymore. Now that she's a senator the kids and Rick have to attend various events, and there's a small amount of press interest in them. In a strange way, it keeps them safer. The city knows their faces. The city keeps watch.

"Reece is gonna get over it, right?"

"Course he will."

Kate unlocks the car and climbs in to the driver's side. Jake takes a minute to dump his luggage in the back. She's not sure why he's got quite so much stuff. It's props, apparently, and it's also the reason he couldn't just get the subway to his friend's apartment.

"He's so bummed out." Jake fastens his seatbelt and leans back in the chair.

Last week, Reece's girlfriend dumped him. They'd been together since Valentine's Day, when he finally plucked up the courage to ask her out. Eight months is forever when you're fourteen years old, and her son is raw over it still. Kate has a sneaking suspicion that the wound to his pride is worse than the loss of the relationship, but she's not about to say that to Reece.

"These things happen, bud. He just needs some time to lick his wounds. He'll be okay."

"Sharing a room with him is really awkward, Mom." Jake wrinkles his nose. "He's like a dementor or something. He just lies there and sucks the life out of everything."

Kate laughs without meaning to. It's unkind to find humour in her son's suffering, even if it is melodramatic. She remembers what it was like as a teenager, when everything felt enormous and cataclysmic. She's very careful not to be condescending, to appreciate that her children's problems are very real.

"I think Dad has some plans to cheer him up this weekend. Try to be patient with him. Losing your first love isn't easy."

Jake snorts at that and she darts a glance at him from the corner of her eye, sees the skepticism on his face.

"She wasn't his first love. I think he was dating her because she was a nice girl, and pretty, but I don't think he loved her."

"Your brother plays it close to the vest. Just because you're twins doesn't mean he's the same as you, Jakey."

He grumbles something and folds his arms over his chest, clearly wounded at being chastised. Something in Kate is fiercely protective of Reece, her guarded boy. He's the most like her. Lily and Jake both have their father's wide open heart, are quick to share their feelings at the slightest provocation. Reece has Rick's goofy humour, but the truth of his emotions is kept carefully hidden.

When Kate finally pulls up outside Jake's friend's building, narrowly managing to squeeze the car into a freshly vacated spot, her son leans over the centre console and kisses her cheek.

"Thanks for the ride, Mom. See you tomorrow evening?"

"See you then, kiddo. Be smart please."

"Always am."

She idles with the engine running while Jake gets all of his stuff out of the trunk. The glass edifice of the apartment building allows her to keep watch until her son makes it into the elevator with his luggage. Satisfied, Kate pulls out of the spot and rejoins the flow of traffic. It swims upstream, into the festive heart of the city.

Somehow, the business of the holiday season managed to escape her until she had three teenagers of her own. It's a particularly tough time of year to be a cop, the higher incidences of domestic violence and drunken behaviour putting a strain on the city's police force. In her personal life though, Christmas passed by with barely a nod of acknowledgement from her. And then she married Rick and they had their kids and things got hectic, but they kept it under control.

Now, she spends her whole life ferrying her kids back and forth. They're good about using the subway when they can, but she doesn't like them to do it on their own at night. A few times a week, either Kate or her husband winds up having to pick up at least one of the kids from some late-running extra curricular. Tonight, Rick has a Black Pawn author mixer he couldn't manage to get out of, but he should be on his way home by now.

As if summoned, his grinning face appears on her dashboard display and she taps to accept the call. "Hey, handsome."

"Hey. Driving?"

"Yeah, I just dropped Jake off at his buddy's house. On my way back now."

"Did you eat?" His voice is soft with tenderness. Longing made liquid fills Kate's belly and she smiles alone in the car.

"We didn't. Just me, you and peanut tonight, babe."

There's a pause where his voice is far away, talking to somebody else. He hasn't managed to escape yet, then. He comes back to her with apologies and she interrupts to let him know that it's okay. Good just to have him on the other end of the phone. She's missed him today, peculiar though that is. There was an early meeting, so she had breakfast at the island with Pip nuzzling her feet and then she snuck out and left her family to their dreaming.

"Let's get takeout, then. He can choose. I'm just leaving."

"See you soon. Love you."

"Love you too, Kate."

He actually manages to beat her back to the loft, because the traffic is awful and he took the subway. When she comes in the door he catches her up in a hug. His wide, warm palm splays at her butt and tugs her in close until their hips meet. Hot breath lands at her neck and she shivers, draping her arms over his shoulders.

"Missed you today," he tells her. His tie is dumped on the kitchen island behind him, his jacket draped over one of the barstools. With his shirt sleeves pushed up to his elbows and his top two buttons undone he's delicious, and Kate goes in search of his mouth.

Their kiss winds from lazy to predatory and back again. He gentles her, one hand at the side of her head and forming a vacuum over her ear. The strange sounds of the ocean and the drugging touch of his tongue make her woozy and she clutches at him.

"Our son is upstairs," she gets out. Her husband breaks apart from her reluctantly. He's well into his sixties now, but she still wants him. She only finds him more attractive as he ages. "Have you been up to see him?"

"Just walked in the door. And anyway, believe it or not I do remember being fourteen. Wanting space to wallow."

A strange urge to mother him fills her up and Kate smoothes her thumb under his eye. Her head tilted, she regards him and tries to imagine him as a teenager. It's more difficult with the lines of mirth at the corners of his eyes and his hair peppered with grey. And then he grins, mischief transforming him, and she can see it so clearly.

"We could probably get away with-"

"Stop it." She swats at him, her eyes narrowing. "Go up and talk to him, man to man."

Rick tangles his fingers with hers and lifts her hand to his mouth, kissing each of her knuckles in turn. After all this time, he's still fascinated by her. Still seems surprised to find her here sometimes when he wakes up in the morning, like he can't believe he got so lucky. She feels it too, and she lets him have as long as he needs.

"Castle," she says softly. "I know that closed-off heart of his. How fiercely he guards it. And I also know that you're the one person who can make it better. Who can draw it out of hiding. You've done it so many times for me."

He nods, darts in for a last, fast kiss and then he disappears off upstairs. All this time the dog has been hopping around their ankles, hoping for attention. Kate sinks to her haunches and kisses Pip's silky head. The dog has a habit of pushing her whole body against you, wanting to be close, and she wraps her arms around her.

"Hi, Pipsqueak. Did you have a good day, pretty girl?"

The dog blinks slowly at Kate, her head cocked. In her eyes, Kate sees her brain rolling over, assessing if she knows what any of those words mean. She doesn't have a clue, that much is clear, but she licks a happy stripe up the side of Kate's face.

Kate pours some food into Pip's bowl for her and tops up the dog's water as well. Lily is wonderful at caring for her, but she's away and the boys are scatty. Hopefully Jake remembered to take the dog outside to stretch her legs earlier. She doesn't seem too hyperactive, anyway.

Once she's finished eating, Kate puts her into her harness and hooks the leash on to the back of it. She finds a coat and a scarf and shrugs them on, calling up the stairs as she does.

"Babe, I'm taking Pip out for a walk."

"Hold on," he calls back. A moment later, Rick appears at the top of the stairs with Reece. Their son is actually smiling, for the first time in a week. He's still in sweats, still needs to shower, but he's up and out of his room.

"We'll come too, Mom." Reece tells her.

He comes bounding down the stairs two at a time. At the bottom, he wraps one arm around her and leaves a smacking kiss at her cheek. He disappears off towards the coat closet, and Kate captures her husband with a palm flat against his chest.

"He alright?"

"Yeah. Told him about some of my nastier break ups. And that all of it was just practice, so I would know what the right relationship was when I finally found it."

"That better be me."

"I don't know," he looks off into the distance, watching her from the corner of his eye. "I met a really nice lady in the post office the other day."

"Uh-huh," Kate presses her lips together and he kisses her, his hand at her waist to keep her in place.

Everybody gets wrapped up warm and Reece takes charge of Pip's leash. He looks so much brighter already. Maybe all their son needs to heal his wounded heart is their undivided attention for the weekend. Kate slides her gloved hand into Rick's and squeezes, hoping he can feel her gratitude in the press of her fingers.

"I know," he tells her, and they follow Reece out of the loft.


	20. Chapter 20

**December 20 - 2035**

* * *

Rick spends all morning unable to sit still. His wife is laughing at him, but he sees that same restless energy in the way she chews on her lip. Their baby girl is coming home from college today. She should be here any minute, actually. The car service is picking up her and her luggage from the airport, and she texted not too long ago to say that she was on her way.

"Honey, come on, come here." He snags Kate on her way past him. She's wearing tracks into the hardwood, circling around and around straightening pillows that weren't crooked and checking the pantry to be sure they've got all of Lily's favourite snack foods.

She couldn't make it home for Thanksgiving because she had finals and all of her friends were staying at Georgetown and celebrating the holiday together, a found family. They haven't seen her since they all flew out to move her in at the start of the semester.

Washington isn't far, and Rick would be happy to pay for flights, but Lily decided it would be easier to bond with her friends if she wasn't coming home every other weekend. Kate has met up with her a few times while she's been in Washington for work and they've had lunch together. Apparently, most of Lily's fellow political science majors are a little bit in awe that her mother is a senator and they've been starstruck by her.

He knows that feeling all too well, knows how it is to be confronted by the grace and intelligence of Kate Beckett for the first time. At fifty six, she hasn't lost one shred of that charismatic pull she has on people.

"I've missed her. Silly. We FaceTime so often, and I've seen her more than you guys have."

"She's your baby girl." Rick accepts the sag of his wife's body against his, arms coming up to wrap around her. Kate's smile flirts with his neck, her lips forming a kiss there before her teeth nip. "You used to miss her back when she was small and you didn't make it home before bedtime. Of course you miss her when she's two hundred miles away."

Kate laughs and separates from him. She stays close, her body haunting his. The dog doesn't know that Lily is coming, of course, but she can sense that something is happening. She yips and whines and keeps bringing them all of her toys one after the other, laying them in a neat line across the living room.

When the door finally, finally opens, Kate is there before Lily even comes through. She wraps her arms tight around their little girl, and then Rick captures them both in a hug and the boys come thundering downstairs and join in. Everybody squeezes everybody else and the liquid spill of emotion escapes them.

"How was your flight, sweet girl?" Kate has Lily's face captured between her palms so she can inspect their daughter. She looks exhausted, but happy to be home.

She doesn't try to escape her mother's grip, giving Kate as long as she needs to be satisfied. When she's finally freed, she hooks her arm through Kate's and the two of them head to the couch with everybody else following behind.

"It was good. A bit delayed, and the guy next to me had sharp elbows."

"I wish you'd let me put you in first class," Rick grumbles. He will never understand what it is with the women in this family and refusing to let him spoil them.

Lily narrows her eyes at him, so like her mother that for a split second he's hyperaware of the passage of time, how soon his daughter will be a fully grown adult making her way in the world. For now though, he can still get away with babying her.

"I'm fine, Dad. It's not exactly a long flight." The dog whines low in her throat and head butts Lily and she laughs. "Okay, Pipsqueak. Come on then. Jump up."

The dog immediately bounds up onto the sofa and curls up in Lily's lap. She was bred to be a police dog, so she's hardly delicate, and Lily grunts and shifts to get comfortable beneath the dog's weight.

Jake and Reece are hurrying around making themselves useful, carrying Lily's luggage upstairs and bringing her snacks and a cup of her favourite tea. They've missed their big sister, felt her absence keenly. The kids have a group conversation on their phones and they talk every day, Lily keeping her baby brothers up to date about college life.

"Thanks, peanut."

Lily accepts the mug of tea from her brother and sets it on the side table. She has her shoes kicked off already, her legs drawn up onto the couch. It would be as if she hadn't left at all, if it weren't for everybody crowding around her as if she's some fascinating new exhibit in their home.

"Lily," Jake gasps. He's around the back of the couch, leaning over it. His sister freezes midway through tucking her hair back behind her ear. "Is that a _tattoo_?"

"A _what_?" Panic swells in the cavity of Rick's chest and he comes to inspect his baby girl. Sure enough, behind her ear there's a tiny black inking of an ampersand. "Lily. What. What."

She laughs and shakes her hair down to hide it again. "It's cool, Dad. It's tiny and easy to hide. And anyway, I had Mom's permission."

"She what?" he turns to stare at his wife and she shrugs. The corner of her mouth twitches — she's laughing at him — but he's too flabbergasted to even care. "What the hell, Beckett?"

"Ooh, Beckett, Mom's in trouble," the kids chorus, delighted to be witnessing this whole thing.

Kate lays her hand at his forearm to soothe him, and strangely the warmth of her skin against his does help. "It's okay, babe. I got a tattoo in college and it didn't exactly ruin my chances in life, did it?"

"Yours isn't on your _head_ ," he chokes out, but he's already deflating. He sinks to sit on the other side of his daughter, the non-tattooed side, and he accepts her hug. "Come on then, spill. What does it mean?"

"Means there's more to the story still. That I'm not done yet."

Suddenly, he understands exactly why Kate gave her permission. It's a brave sentiment for their daughter to carry around for the rest of her life. It speaks of her courage and her tenacity. Rick kisses Lily's temple and slides his arm around her shoulders.

"That's beautiful. I'm proud of you, Lilypad."

"Oh!" Lily whips around and points her finger at Kate. "Mom. You called me that in front of my roommate and now _everyone_ calls me that."

"Oh what, it's not cool enough for you now?" Kate teases. She's so soft, a tender creature pressed close against Lily's side.

Lily sighs and lays her head against Kate's shoulder, her eyes closing. The two of them have always been close. Lily's birth repaired something in Kate, allowed her to blossom, and Lily adores her mother right back. The two of them are talking softly together now, and Rick gets up from the couch.

"Boys, come help me in the kitchen."

They follow him, glad to have an opportunity to escape from girl time. Already they're cool again, two fifteen year olds who would rather die than admit how much they missed their sister. They jostle each other in the kitchen, both trying to grab a Coke from the fridge while simultaneously hindering the other from doing the same.

"Are you done?" he asks once they both have their drinks and they nod, chastened. "Jake, can you set the table please my man?"

Jake starts right away, busying himself laying out five place settings. Reece puts the salad together and Rick inspects the turkey meatballs he's had in the crockpot all afternoon. The meat is tender now, the sauce bubbling and flavourful. He whips up some spaghetti and once dinner is done and everything set out, they call upstairs to the girls.

Kate went to help Lily unpack and their laughter rang out from her bedroom. Rick is glad that his daughter is so settled at college, but he misses her. And, too, he hates seeing Kate mope for a few days when Lily goes away again. How her heart hurts to be without one of her babies. He remembers how good to him Kate was when Alexis left for college all those years ago. He tries to be that same unwavering source of comfort for his wife, but it's hard when he's missing Lily too.

Once everybody is finally settled at the table with a full plate, Lily starts telling them all about college. Her roommate is a foreign student from France, which has allowed Lily to work on the French she picked up in high school. She has a group of friends doing the same major as her and they all hang out together and help each other with homework.

The boys quiz her about the parties and whether she has a fake ID, whether she's gotten blackout drunk yet, but Lily's eyes slide from Kate to Rick and she shakes her head firmly. She'll tell her brothers all about it when they're out of earshot, most likely, and he finds he doesn't mind. It would be hypocritical of him to criticise, after the things he got up to in college.

A few times, Kate and Lily fall into discussing politics and have to be dragged back out by the scruffs of their necks. Lily is majoring in political science because of her mother. She wants to be a force for positive change, just like Kate is.

When she decided, Kate had cried on his shoulder that evening. It had been a peculiar mix of grief that her daughter was going to witness so much darkness on her way to great things, and pride that Lily has such an enormous heart and generosity of spirit.

They have a ban on political talk at dinner, have done since Kate became a senator all those years ago, but they've had to enforce it more than usual since Lily decided that was what she wanted to major in. Now that she's actually studying it's even worse, and the boys groan and roll their eyes and hold their heads in their hands.

After dinner and copious amounts of ice cream, everybody piles onto the couch for a family movie. The boys commandeer an armchair each. They're both so tall, rapidly catching up to Rick. Reece is broader, has the shoulders of a football player. Jake is more slight, because he puts less importance on the swell of his biceps than his brother does.

Rick settles in the corner of the couch and Kate snuggles in beside him, her cheek to his chest. Lily curls at the other end so that her feet touch her mother's, and the dog sprawls out over all of their legs. Once everybody is comfortable and tucked underneath a blanket, Rick starts up the projector.

Within half an hour, Lily is fast asleep. Travelling, and this last couple weeks of finals, has wiped her out. Her cheek squishes against the arm of the couch and she snores softly. The boys make excuses and slink away, a little bit too teenage for family time. It leaves Rick and Kate the only ones awake.

His arm is banded around her and his palm rests at her stomach to feel the rise and slow collapse of her breathing.

"Happy to have her back?"

"So happy," she whispers back to him. "How did I not realise that it would hurt so much to not have her here with us every day?"

Rick sifts his fingers through the ends of Kate's hair, arranging it against her shoulder. She's sleepy too, he can feel it in the weight of her bones where she leans in to him. He kisses her forehead, her temple, the sharp slash of her cheekbone.

"It's good though, sweetheart. This is what being a parent is. Raising them until they can stand on their own." Kate's forehead creases, but he's not done. "How many times since your mom died have you wished she was there, because you've wanted her advice or her company or her love?"

"Thousands," Kate admits.

"Exactly. Lily isn't going to stop needing you just because she's an adult herself. You'll always be her mom, Kate."

Her mouth opens against the underside of his jaw in an almost kiss and she hums. "Thank you. I needed that."


	21. Chapter 21

**December 21 - 2036**

* * *

"I still don't see why we had to leave it so late," Jake complains. He's at the island, swivelling back and forth on the barstool and kicking his feet against the cabinet.

Kate feels irritation rising in a great tide and she opens the refrigerator, sticks her head inside. It's looking alarmingly empty, actually. They haven't done their holiday grocery shop yet and they've been trying to eat up all of the random things in the pantry and fridge to make space.

"We had to wait for your sister." She closes the refrigerator door and fights the urge to rest her forehead to it.

"Which one?"

"Lily," Kate turns to see her son. He must read how close she is to losing it all over her face because he straightens and stops his kicking. "To come back from college. And Alexis to have a free night."

They're taking a family photograph, all in matching sweaters. It was her father's idea, actually. He told Kate he wanted to do it so he could have it blown up and hang it in his living room. Jim is well into his eighties, now. He told Kate that he wanted to seize life while he still could, that he didn't know how many more Christmases he has left. She's so utterly unable to handle that concept that she agreed just to end the conversation.

"Kate!" Her husband's yell startles her and she whips around to see him. Rick strides out of the office with a whole stack of sweaters in his arms. "Want to put them on now?"

She considers it, for a moment, but it's not smart. "I don't trust any of you not to get it dirty before pictures. Can I put you in charge of them?"

There's a flurry of activity then. A naive, younger Kate thought that once her kids weren't toddlers anymore, it wouldn't be such a trial to get everybody out of the house. Now that they're teenagers though, it's that much more difficult.

Lily comes thundering down the stairs at last. Her makeup and hair are perfectly done and she does look lovely, but they were also supposed to leave ten minutes ago.

"Dad," she swings around the end of the bannister and jumps from the bottom step. "Reece needs you. Cut himself shaving."

"Oh, my God." Kate presses the heel of her palm to her forehead, and for a moment considers cancelling this whole thing.

Rick heads upstairs to help their son. Jake and Lily hook one arm each through Kate's and walk with her to the front door.

"It's okay, Mom. Chill."

Being told to chill by her son makes her bristle, but she lets it slide. When the boys finally emerge from upstairs, Reece has a wad of toilet paper pressed to his cheek. Kate lets the kids go in front so she can snag her husband and grill him.

"Is it that bad?"

"No, just being dramatic. It'll be gone by the time we get there."

They meet Kate's father, and Alexis and her family, at the studio. They took the car service here. It was an indulgence, really, no reason they couldn't take the subway. Rick likes to make use of it though, since he's paying for it, and it was nice to just slide in to the back and not have to worry about it.

"Grandpa!" Harry and Charlotte yell the second they see Rick, and they charge at him. He's laughing and bending down to hug them and tugging teasingly on the end of Charlotte's waist-length, white blonde braid.

"Hi Katie, sweetheart." She gets a bristly, whiskered kiss to her cheek from her father.

When they were first arranging to do this photoshoot, Kate hadn't been sure whether she should invite Alexis or not. Although she and Jim care very much about each other, they're not actually related. Eventually Kate had sucked up the courage to ask her dad, and he'd told her he wanted Alexis' whole family present. The kids call him Pops, consider him their great-grandfather. He said he wanted all of his family, made sure there was no more room for misunderstanding.

Rick hands out the matching sweaters to everybody and they start pulling them on. They're goofy, red with reindeer on the front, but it's cute for a picture. It was the only thing Rick could find that came in varied enough sizes to fit his broad shoulders, nine year old Charlotte's skinny frame, and everybody in between.

Their photographer is an enthusiastic smiling woman who makes friends with Rick immediately. She arranges them in the studio for a serious portrait first, Jim in the centre with everybody else gathered around him. After that, she takes pictures of various groups. All of the kids, then just Jim and Kate, then Alexis and Tom.

"How about you and Rick get some, Katie?" her father suggests.

Kate turns to look for her husband and finds him right beside her. He lifts one shoulder in a shrug, as if to say he doesn't mind either way. It would be lovely, actually, to have some pictures of the two of them. Kate tangles her fingers with his and leads him onto the white background.

The photographer lets them have fun with it, encouraging them to be handsy and look at each other instead of the camera. In one of the shots, Kate has her arm curled up underneath his so her hand rests at his shoulder, her body mostly behind him and her lips flirting with his cheek.

"Get one with the kids, too," Alexis says. She nudges Lily and the twins and they shuffle into place, crowding around Kate and Rick.

Someone has the idea to photograph fathers and daughters, so Kate and Jim, Rick, Alexis and Lily, and Tom and Charlotte all crowd together. The twins and Harry hang out all surly at the periphery of the room until the photographer lets them have a picture together with just the three of them.

Once they've exhausted every possible combination they thank the photographer and she tells them she'll email watermarked versions so they can choose their favourites to have printed. They spill out into the street, all ten of them, laughing and shivering in the bitter cold.

"Got a text," Rick waves his phone as if any of them are going to be able to read it. "The Ryans and Espo are at a diner. Wanted to know if we'd like to join them."

"I think we're gonna head home, Dad. Got a rough drive ahead of us."

The snow has made everything so treacherous for weeks now and they'd worried that Alexis and her family wouldn't be able to make it tonight at all. Everybody exchanges hugs and kisses to cheeks and Alexis and Tom herd their kids into their car, parked just across the street from the portrait studio.

"Jim, up for dinner?"

"Absolutely," her father smiles. "It's been a long time since I've seen Javier, and Kevin and his family."

The diner isn't too far away, so they decide to take the subway. Everybody except Rick has changed out of their Christmas sweater, and Kate carries the bag with all of the rest of them inside. Her husband looks so cuddly that she finds herself clinging to his side, holding tight to his hand while they walk.

Lily is up ahead with her grandfather, telling him all about her time at college. Now that she's in her sophomore year she's really found her groove, joined a bunch of extracurriculars, and Jim listens intently while she tells him all about it.

The boys are jostling each other while they walk, roughhousing the way they do. Only one more year, one more Christmas, and then they'll be in college as well. Jake wants to go into medicine so he's already started looking, and his aunt Lanie has been giving him a ton of advice. Over the summer, he's interning at the morgue with her just like Alexis did all those years ago. Reece is clueless, as Reece so often is. Every time anybody brings up the idea of college with him he scowls and storms off and says he's not sure that he even wants to go.

"I can hear you worrying," Rick tells her. He tugs on her hand so that she falters a half step, putting enough distance between them that the kids won't overhear. "What's the matter?"

"Just thinking about the future. Peanut's future, really."

Rick hums and his thumb circles slowly against the back of her hand. She hardly feels it through the gloves, but she feels the tenderness in him all the same.

"He's only a junior, honey. Give him a little bit of time. Alexis had no idea what she was doing at this point either. Come to think of it, neither did I. I don't think Lily and Jake are exactly normal, with their game plans."

That makes her laugh, and he kisses the corner of her mouth as if to taste some of that amusement for himself. "I just want him to be okay."

"Of course he'll be okay. You're his mom."

"Yeah, okay." Kate rolls her eyes, but she does feel warm inside hearing that from him. Being a mom to teenagers is harder than she thought.

Up till now, she's been able to remember how her mom was with her and she's had that to turn to when she's been unsure. Now, though, Lily is nineteen years old. Kate has no idea what comes after this, feels herself staring into the future of motherhood as if it's an abyss.

Sarah Grace turns twenty three in January, and Nicholas twenty one in April. The Ryan kids are just a touch older than Kate and Rick's children, and so they've been able to consult Kevin and Jenny for advice when they've struck out. Rick's experience with Alexis hadn't really prepared him to raise sons, or a Beckett daughter, and Kate came in to being a mother mostly blind.

They make it to the diner and fill up another booth next to the one already taken. The boys are loud all in their booth together. Javi, Kevin and Rick crowd one side, with the twins and Nick squeezed in opposite.

It leaves Kate and her father to sit with Jenny. Sarah and Lily congregate together in one corner to chatter away. Sarah Grace has graduated now, and she gives advice to Lily about what happens afterwards.

"It's so lovely to see you, Mr Beckett. How are you?" Jenny asks. She has a way of making you feel as if she's genuinely interested in the answer, and Kate could swear she sees her father blush. It's hard to tell with the insect hum of the fluorescent strip lighting.

Everybody gets their orders in, and then the food comes. There's a lot of noise and laughter and shifting seats while people catch up. Kate finds herself shrinking. She's become more comfortable in social gatherings since she became a senator, but she has always been happier in a one-on-one situation.

Still, this is her family. The people she loves most in the world. Lily, her sweet, smart girl, is old enough now to recognise when her mother needs to be drawn in to the conversation. She asks her questions, sets her up in conversation with Sarah Grace, and then wanders away to chat to her uncles.

"How's your new job treating you?"

"It's really good!" Sarah Grace launches into an explanation of her work. It's fascinating actually, to see what it's like to be just starting out in your career a generation after Kate herself did so. The two of them form a little bubble that everybody else skirts around the edges of, not wanting to disrupt.

Rick has always been the one person who is unafraid to get into Kate's personal space. He leans over the back of his bench seat and kisses her earlobe. "Try not to be too serious, Beckett. Let the poor girl forget about work for a while."

"Oh, shoot, am I-"

"Not at all," Sarah Grace shakes her head. "Leave her alone, Uncle Rick."

"Sorry, sorry." He shows them his palms, and Kate can't help herself. She snags his fingers and draws them in so she can kiss the tip of his index and then his middle finger.

There are various noises of revulsion, and Kate catches something from Nick about thinking _his_ parents were gross, but she doesn't care. Her own father is here, and she still feels no shame in openly loving her husband.

Not when she does so fiercely. Not after how hard she fought for it.


	22. Chapter 22

**December 22 - 2037**

* * *

"Dad, _please_ ," Lily groans and pushes on his shoulder.

He's wearing his thickest, warmest coat and a sweater underneath, so he barely feels it, but he gets the message. No more singing. He just can't help himself. All morning, he's been singing to the kids, asking if they want to build a snowman. Kate had gently reminded him that that movie came out almost twenty five years ago, and still he hasn't quit.

"Come on, Lilypad. Sing with me. Let's do a duet." He hooks his arm through his daughter's. She's grumbly about it, but when he starts up again she does sing along.

They're trudging through the snow in search of a place to make their snowman. Snowmen, most likely, because this family is so competitive. Kate leads the pack, a knit beanie on her head and bright red rain boots on her feet. The boys are behind her, occasionally stopping to throw a snowball at each other. Lily, Rick and Pipsqueak bring up the rear.

"How about here?" Kate suggests, and everybody stops.

The park is pretty busy this afternoon. A fresh coating of snow came down last night, so people have been flocking to enjoy it. This particular patch is undisturbed though, and after a quick assessment they all agree that it's perfect.

The kids separate out and start assessing the quality of the snow, deciding where to start creating their snowman. He waits for Kate to join in, but when he turns to see her se has her face tipped skyward. Her eyes are wide, a grin splitting the seam of her mouth.

"I think it's gonna snow again. Look at the clouds."

He glances upwards at the sky to see the clouds flocking overhead with their grey, snow-swollen bellies. Kate grapples for his hand and he squeezes. He steps in close, out of view of their children, and kisses the bare sliver of skin that peeks out above her scarf.

In this part of the park there's no lighting, and they're far enough that the lights of the city don't quite touch them here. Their moon shadows stretch out before them. Lily laughs at the pompom on top of her hat, how it makes her shadow look so strange.

"I'm gonna make an angel instead," he decides. A snowman is a little bit out of his ballpark these days. He's rapidly approaching seventy, and his knees protest at him when he tries to match the youth of his children. An angel, though, he can do.

"Yes," Kate grins and lifts up on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. "Leave the arduous work to the kids. Smart man."

The world is bright-dark and pristine still, this deep into the park. Closer to the rink and the other various amusements, the snow has turned to slush over the course of the day. Somehow, a little piece of Kate's magic has extended here to bring them this perfect spot.

The two of them lie down carefully on their backs. He starfishes his limbs and find that the tips of his gloved fingers just brush Kate's. The cold soaks through his coat immediately and he grits his teeth to stop shivering. He moves his arms and legs back and forth through the snow to create the shape of the angel. When he turns to the side he sees his wife's wide grin, the graceful slope of her nose and her thick lashes.

"You two are so boring," Reece says. Rick turns to see his son looming over him, arms folded. His grouchiness is comical with his hat jammed down over his forehead, and Rick laughs.

"Sorry, peanut. Thought we'd leave the hard work to you guys."

There's a marble-hardness to his flesh now, and his limbs will no longer bend or move. He summons all of his strength to lift his arm and Reece takes his hand, hauling him upright. He stumbles and scuffs the bottom of the angel, but it still looks pretty good.

"Kate, get up, see what you think."

"Can't," she grunts. "Cold."

"Sure you can." He takes both of her hands in his and hauls her upright. The momentum almost topples her and she falls against the wall of his chest. He rights them with an arm banded tight around her waist and a few staggering footsteps.

Their daughter wanders over to them, clapping her gloved hands together to loosen some of the snow stuck to them. "Those look cool. You've messed yours up though, Dad."

"Yeah, thanks kiddo." He tugs on the end of one of her braids and she ducks to escape him. "How's the snowman coming?"

Lily wrinkles her nose and shrugs so that her scarf comes up around her ears. "We're struggling. I think the snow is too powdery. The body keeps collapsing."

"You need to really compact it. Here, I'll help you." Kate strides over to Jake where he's struggling with the snowman's disintegrating body and everyone follows.

Between the five of them, they figure out a method of compacting the snow together so that the snowman's body can retain its shape. Once they find their rhythm the kids are quick to build him, working as a team and occasionally pausing to stuff snow down the back of each other's neck.

"Oh, babe, do you have a picture of that Olaf we made?"

Strangely enough, he does. He finds it hidden away in his iCloud storage and he loads it up to show the kids. "Mom and I did this when we stayed at the cabin over New Years."

"You'd just gotten married, right?" Jake asks. He's the most interested, his head bowed over Rick's phone to see. The other two give it a perfunctory glance and then continue on with their work.

"We had." Kate shares a small smile with Rick over the top of their son's head. "It took us all afternoon to make him, but I think we did a pretty good job."

Jake's face lights up and his mouth opens, but his big sister beats him to it. "No chance, Jakey. The snow isn't firm enough. It'll fall apart if we start trying to carve into it. Let's keep it simple."

It's a team effort to get the snowman finished. He's huge, because the kids' Beckett genes won't let them do anything half-assed. Rick is sent towards the trees to find twigs for arms and he takes Pip with him. The dog has been passed around from person to person, whoever has a free hand to hold the leash. She's happy just to be a part of things, and she trots obediently along next to Rick.

When they had Cosmo, they had to put him in a sweater and little booties in the winter. Sighthounds don't have enough body fat to keep themselves warm. Pip is a German Shepherd, a whole different experience altogether. Her coat has grown thicker and more lush as the city has gotten colder, and she seems quite content out here in the snow.

It's the dog that manages to find a suitable stick. Her nose roots through the snow until she comes across something. She can't know that's what he was looking for, but she lets him take the stick from her mouth and she wags her tail excitably.

"Perfect, thanks Dad." He gets a kiss to his cheek from Lily and she takes the branch from him. Breaking it in two against her knee, she sticks each of the pieces carefully into the snowman's body as his arms.

Jake and Reece have wandered off in search of something for eyes and a mouth, and they come back with a handful of stones that they arrange into a face. Kate brought a carrot to be the nose, Lily bravely sacrifices her scarf for the snowman, and he's finished.

Reece pumps a fist into the air and yelps like a coyote into the night as if they've pulled off the impossible. It makes everybody else startle, and Kate almost knocks the snowman over in alarm. The dog whines long and low and noses Reece's leg, unhappy with him.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry Pipsqueak."

"Come on Pippa. It's okay, baby." Lily takes the leash and leads her dog a little way away, crouching down to soothe her.

A stranger passing by offers to take their photograph with the snowman and they arrange themselves around him as best they can. They thank the lady and wish her a merry Christmas, and then everybody gets stuck looking at everybody else.

"Kind of a bummer that we have to just leave him here now," Lily muses. She unwinds her scarf from around the snowman's neck and shakes it out. It must be freezing and damp, but she wraps it around her own neck and tucks her chin down inside it anyway.

Lately, Rick has been wondering what it might be like to move out of the city. To live someplace with a yard. They could afford a lot more square footage if they moved out of Manhattan. He's been meaning to bring it up with Kate. The idea of moving upstate, or maybe across to Jersey or Connecticut. Once the boys have graduated in the summer there's nothing to tether them here.

The kids start making their way through the park with the dog, but Rick hangs back and takes his wife's hand. "It is kind of a bummer. She's right."

"You want to move, don't you?" Kate says. There's a little tug of amusement at one corner of her mouth, so at least she's not horrified by the idea.

"How'd you know?"

"I'm still a detective at heart. Those skills never leave you," she grins. "Come on then. Persuade me."

He doesn't even realise how much he wants to do it until he has to convince his wife. The reasons pour out of him as if they've been waiting in his subconscious all this time.

"We could get a lot more for our money somewhere else. I'd like to have a yard for Pip and for grandkids coming to visit. I know I always said I don't want to be boring, but I think it would be nice to have a quieter life. Not to have to take the car service or the subway or struggle for parking."

To her credit, Kate listens without interrupting. He knows she's a city girl at heart, that all of her friends live here. His do too, but he finds that as long as he's got Kate, the rest of it seems easy in comparison.

"I don't want to do that to the kids," she says quietly. "Castle, I know what it's like to go off to college thinking you can come home any time and it'll all be the same. How much it hurts to have it all fall apart. And I know us moving isn't the same as my mother's death, but still."

"I understand."

"But-" she cuts in before he can tell her to forget the whole idea. "Maybe when the boys have been in college for a couple of years. I'm not opposed to an easier life, babe. We're getting old."

He laughs and leans in to kiss her cheek. Their kids are just up ahead, waiting on them, so he doesn't let himself linger.

"Me more than you. You're as gorgeous as the day we met. More so, actually."

"Yeah, okay," she scoffs, but pink blooms in the apples of her cheeks.

The twins jog back to them to say _hurry up, Mom and Dad_ , and they walk a little faster. The warmth of the loft and hot cocoa is calling to them, propelling them back towards the subway station. The kids are waiting for them at the entrance, Pip straining on the end of the leash to sniff everybody that walks past.

"Let's go home, Mama." Lily lays her head to Kate's shoulder. His wife gets this soft look on her face and she kisses their daughter's forehead.

The city looms either side of them and he does feel its magic. He does. Only these days, he wonders if maybe this whole time the magic hasn't been Kate Beckett and their family. New York can make you hard, can blunt your edges. He's ready to be a grandpa in an ugly sweater, bringing the grandkids onto his knee and reminiscing about the good old days.

Kate meets his eyes over the top of Lily's head, and he knows he's got her.


	23. Chapter 23

**December 23 - 2038**

* * *

All of Kate's kids are in the kitchen. It's the first time since the end of August, and her heart feels light. Her babies have flocked back home for the holidays. There's an ache in her jaw from so much smiling, but she's not about to stop. They're here. Her family.

"Mom, can I eat this?" Reece pulls a Tupperware container of leftovers from last night out of the refrigerator and waves it at her. She could swear he's grown another inch since he went away to college.

"Course you can, peanut. Have at it. Can I get anybody else a snack?"

Jake waves her off, his head bent over a textbook at the island, but Lily comes and hooks her arm through Kate's. "We're not guests, Mama. You can relax. We'll fend for ourselves."

"I missed you, my sweet girl." Kate kisses her daughter's forehead, catching the unfamiliar scent of her new shampoo.

This morning, everybody got up early and they trekked to the park to go sledding. It had been an exhausting few hours, lugging their two sleds back up the hill over and over again just to spend a few seconds hurtling down. It was worth it, but her coccyx is bruised from when she careened into a tree.

"Come on, man. It's Christmas Eve-eve. Put your book away."

Reece hangs off of his brother's shoulder, letting his voice get a little whiny. He's at college for engineering, and it's tough, but he's put it away for the holiday period. He refuses to talk about his classes and how his finals went, wanting to distract himself with their family traditions. Jake is taking pre-med a lot more seriously. He has mountains of work to do over winter break, and he's barely seen without his glasses on and a book in his lap these days.

"What's everybody doing?" Rick comes booming into the kitchen.

He's been on the phone with his publicist for the last half hour or so. Apparently the books are selling particularly well this holiday season, and they want to get Rick on a talk show. Since he branched out and won his Pulitzer, not just his award winning novel but _all_ of his novels have been flying off the shelves.

Lily teases, saying she's not surprised it took until her father is almost seventy years old for him to actually write something serious. She's probably more proud than any of them, though. For one of the award ceremonies, when Kate had been tangled up in work commitments, Lily had flown back into the city to be her father's date and cheer for him when he accepted his trophy.

"Eating," Reece says around a mouthful of food. "Want some?"

He holds the container out to his father and Rick grabs a fork from the drawer to dig in himself. The two of them make short work of the pasta and sauce, and Reece dumps the empty Tupperware in the sink. He's got red sauce all around his mouth and Kate clicks her tongue, comes at him with a paper towel.

She reminds herself of her own mother, so many years ago. Reece squirms for show, but he lets her clean his face up and kiss his cheek when she's done. Her sweet, giant boy. She has so loved watching him grow, but a part of her longs for that tiny baby who only wanted to be held, who fell asleep against her chest.

Rick's arm lands around Kate's waist like a felled log and he hauls her body back against his. He's warm and inviting and she goes easily, turning as she does so she winds up pressed skin to skin with him. He kisses her cheek, the curve of her ear.

"Happy to have your babies home?"

"So happy," she tells him. Kate kisses the jut of his chin, feels the work of his smile against her lips.

He's so easily pleased, her sweet man. All their lives, he's shown her the joy in the smallest moments. Standing here in his arms with Reece annoying Jake into closing his textbook and Lily on the floor loving on the dog, she feels so at peace.

"Thanks for being my husband," she says softly. He gives a little huffing breath of laughter and his questing fingers delve beneath the bottom of her sweater.

"It's been my greatest joy. Apart from being their dad."

They can't get away with being sappy for very long. Lily extends her leg to poke her toes into Kate's calf, her face all scrunched up. She's got the dog in her lap as if Pip is a Chihuahua and not a German Shepherd. The dog licks Lily's face, delighted to have her home. Pip is possibly the only one more excited than Kate to have the pack back together. All morning, she's been running circles around everybody and knocking things over with the helicopter motion of her tail.

"What's the plan for this afternoon?" Lily asks.

Something about looking down on her from such a height feels truly bizarre, so Kate sinks to sit beside her daughter on the kitchen floor. She leans back against the cabinet and accepts the enormous paw Pip offers for her to hold.

"What would you like to do, Lilypad?"

"Be lazy?" she offers. "Christmas Eve and Day are always so chaotic. Can we just hang out on the couch tonight?"

Kate glances towards her husband to make sure he's okay with that. He looks delighted at the prospect of a family snuggle pile and he grins, gives Kate a little nod.

"Good plan. We could watch a movie."

"Elf!" Jake pipes up. He's finally given in and closed his textbook, added it to the stack he keeps handy on the countertop. Reece has stolen his brother's glasses and he models them, admiring himself in the reflection of the microwave.

There's a collective groan from everybody else. It's not that they don't _like_ Elf. It's just that since he was tiny, the movie has been Jake's pick every Christmas without fail and they're all getting just a bit tired of it.

"Alright, alright," Rick cuts through the din of complaint. "We will start with Elf. But let's do a marathon. One movie each."

Kate grunts and heaves herself up off the floor. "Five movies? Have you lost your mind? We'll be here all night."

"Four and a bit," he grins. His hands come to her hips to reel her in. She finds herself already giving in, already winding her arms around his neck. "I know you're gonna pick The Snowman. It's like a half hour long."

"Oh," Lily deflates. "I was gonna pick that."

She offers her hands to her brother and Reece hauls her up off the floor. Lately, both boys have taken to picking their sister up and carrying her away from whatever she's trying to do, just because they can. Reece bands his arms around Lily's waist and lifts her right off the ground, spinning her in a circle.

"Peanut, don't, put me down," she gasps through her laughter, struggling in his grip.

He gives in and sets her on her feet again, and she goes stumbling right into Kate's arms. Kate catches her baby girl and holds her close, her lips at the crown of Lily's head. "We can share, sweetheart? The Snowman can be girls' pick."

"Good choice ladies. Peanut?"

He goes with The Polar Express, a very old favourite from his childhood. He watched it right around the time that he was obsessing over all things railway, and he'd been completely transfixed. It was the first movie he sat all the way through without losing interest and wandering away. Even so many years later, it still holds a special place in his heart.

The kids scurry away to set up the projector and make a blanket nest on the couch. Pip bounds along behind them, a great clumsy oaf just wanting to be part of all of the fun. They're noisy, as they always are, and a squabble breaks out among them, but these days Kate and Rick leave their arguments to resolve themselves.

"Are you choosing It's A Wonderful Life?" she asks.

He blushes just a little bit and wiggles his shoulders like a kid. "Yeah, I thought so. If no one else minds watching a movie that turned ninety two this year."

"I think, babe," Kate says, and lays her palm flat over his heart. "Everybody just wants you to be happy."

She earns herself a kiss for that, and his thick fingers slide into the back pocket of her jeans. He squeezes the meat of her butt and she rocks up onto the tips of her toes. They've been able to make out more often with the kids out of town, have been reinstating all of the handiness they have to control in front of their children.

"I'm glad to have them back," Rick tells her. "And I did miss them. I really did. But it's been nice just to talk to you, you know? To be husband and wife, rather than Mom and Dad."

"It has," she agrees.

The loft has been so quiet these past few months. Even with Pip running around like a lunatic, and Alexis' kids coming to visit most weekends, it's been weird for it to be only the two of them. After so many years of raising their children, for it to come full circle like this has been sort of nice. She'd been worried, but it turns out they do still have things to talk about that aren't their kids.

Over the last year, the two of them have really been considering getting out of the city. Kate isn't sold just yet. Unless she finds herself wanting it with her whole heart, she doesn't really see the point. Sure, she gets where he's coming from. It would be nice to have a yard and a porch and not to have to take the subway anymore. It's just that she's lived in the city her whole life. New York is a part of her. It's in this city she met the love of her life and they raised their family. She's not ready to say goodbye to it just yet.

"You're thinking about it again, aren't you?"

"Yes. But I'm still not sold."

He chuckles and kisses her forehead. "Don't worry about it. It was just a suggestion, okay? If you don't want to, we don't have to. I'm very happy here."

"But I don't know that I _don't_ want to." Her voice comes out whinier than she really meant it to and she closes her mouth, alarmed.

The kids have gotten everything set up and they call out for Kate and Rick to come and get comfy. There was a period of several years when the two of them could never sit beside one another because the kids were needy and clinging and clambering all over them. It's so nice to lean against her husband on the couch and have his arm around her.

"Snowman first," Jake declares. He does a knee slide across the floor to the laptop so he can put the DVD in. "Because it's _so sad_. What the hell, Mom?"

"Jakey," she sighs at him, but he just shrugs.

It's not sad. Not exactly. Melancholy, sure, but it makes her feel festive and so grateful for all of the blessings in her life. Lily is on Rick's other side and she leans over her father to see Kate, propping an elbow at his stomach.

"It's okay, Mom. Jake's just sore because nobody else wants to watch his choice. Ours is a bit too intellectual for him."

"Intellectual?" Reece snorts. He's hanging upside down in the armchair, his legs draped over the back of it and his head off the end of the cushion. The dog sits beside him and licks all over his face until he glistens with slobber. "It's a snowman come to life."

Lily pokes her tongue out at her little brother and he scowls. Upside down like this it just looks ridiculous and when everybody laughs at him he cracks and laughs as well.

"Is everybody comfy?" Jake asks from the floor. The dog decides she isn't and hops up onto the couch to rest her giant head in Lily's lap. Rick rests his hand between Pip's ears and his thumb circles over her silky hair.

Jake presses play and scrambles over to the other armchair so that by the time the movie starts up he's settled comfortably. It's a silent film, apart from the song in the middle, but Lily fiercely shushes anybody who dares try to speak.

When she was tiny, maybe four or five years old, she saw it for the first time. Rick had distracted the boys and Kate and Lily had curled up together to experience the movie. Her tiny, soft girl had cried at the ending, at the loss of the Snowman. Kate had written it off as a disaster, her inconsolable baby girl wailing in her arms, but every year since then Lily has asked to watch it at least once.

Over Rick's lap and Pip's head, Lily reaches for Kate's hand and threads their fingers together.


	24. Chapter 24

**December 24 - 2039**

* * *

Rick slept in. It wasn't like he meant to do it, not really. He just opened his eyes and found himself unmoving and stiff in their bed. The light was tentative through the slats in the blinds, and his wife's side of the mattress was cold.

He finds her out on the back porch. She's tucked up in two blankets with a hot water bottle and a mug of cocoa, but even so. Crazy woman.

"What are you doing out here?"

"Enjoying having a yard," she says back. The dog is racing around the grass, getting frost stuck to her paws and the tip of her long nose.

It's not going to be a white Christmas, and he's bummed that their first year in this house isn't going to be truly magical. Still, they've got lights all along the gutter and a beautiful, tasteful wicker reindeer with lights woven through it on their front lawn. They've got a front lawn.

"Any sign of the troops yet?"

"Sleeping in." Kate gets up from her chair and he takes the blankets from her, draping them over his arm. She whistles for Pip and the dog comes trotting happily back up the porch steps and into the house.

The whole world is coming slowly awake around them. They stand together in the window and Rick wraps a blanket around each of them. The house is kept plenty warm enough, but it's cosy to be all bundled up like this. Kate's nose practically touches the glass of the windowpane.

"I really love this house, Rick."

"I'm so glad," he says into her hair.

They've only been in a few months. They decided to move not too far from Alexis. They're still close enough to the city, but they've got all of the things they were looking for in a home. He's been captivated watching Kate transform the place, make it theirs. There's so much more space, inside and out.

"Do you think we should wake them? There's a lot to do today."

He peers over her shoulder to check the time in the microwave display. Not yet nine. "Leave them for a bit longer. Let me have you all to myself."

"I'm gonna put you to use." Kate turns in the circle of his arms and pokes him in the chest. Almost immediately though, she softens and lays her hand flat against him. "Remember our first Christmas Eve?"

"I was coming to see you, but you were already coming to see me." He remembers so clearly the great tide of love that had engulfed him when he opened the door all those years ago and found her standing there. "Sad not to be in the loft?"

She shakes her head at him, small and girlish in her socked feet. "Not at all. That memory is you and me. Doesn't matter where we are, it's still precious."

He kisses her, long and slow. When they eventually break apart her mouth is smudged and her robe is falling off one shoulder. Kate catches sight of him and she laughs, reaching up to neaten his funky, spiking hair. He lets her do it, enjoying the tenderness of her fingers across his scalp.

"Want some help with breakfast?"

"Yes. Can you chop fruit?" She brings him with her over to the kitchen by the clasp of their hands and he goes easily, willingly. Grateful just to be here in the early morning with her.

The kids emerge one by one, rumpled with sleep. Lily goes straight for the coffee machine and pours herself a cup, doesn't say a single word until she's drunk half of it down. The boys are roughhousing, fighting each other for the best armchair. They miss each other so fiercely when they're away at college.

"What's the plan for today, Dad?"

Lily comes to stand beside him at the island and she steals a piece of the melon he's just chopped. Now that she's graduated, Lily is living at home until she finds a job. She's working in a bar wile she hunts for career opportunities. Neither Rick nor Kate mind one bit having her home with them.

"Well, lazy morning I think. Maybe take Pip for a walk." He drops his voice, whispers the last word, but the dog's ears still prick up and she turns her head to see him. "And then tonight we've got Alexis and her family and Grandpa coming for dinner and presents."

"Awesome." Lily grins and hops up onto the counter. She drums her feet against the side of the cabinet and steals bacon from the pan while Kate is cooking. She swats at their daughter but it's halfhearted and she's smiling.

They all eat breakfast together, crammed around the little table in the breakfast nook. Usually it's just Rick and his wife that eat together here, and everybody else grazes. The formal dining table in the other room is all set up for dinner tonight already, so they have to make do.

"This is really good, Mom," Reece says. His mouth is full of waffle and Kate gives him a look. He chews hurriedly and swallows it down. "I always miss your cooking so much at school. And you, Dad."

"Thanks peanut." Kate is so soft this morning. She's wearing jeans and a thick sweater, her hair elegantly pinned back. As she ages she only grows more timeless. Rick leans over the top of Jake to kiss his wife's cheek and gets a grunt of irritation from his son.

After everybody is done with breakfast and dressed for the day, they head outside to take Pip for a walk. It's so nice to be close to the park, to let Pip off the leash. Kate walks hand in hand with him, the heat of her body against his side.

"Do you miss the city?" he asks, can't quite help himself.

Kate huffs a breath of laughter and peers at him from beneath her woollen hat. "Not really. It hasn't gone anywhere, babe. I'm still there all the time for work. And it's nice to come home to the peacefulness and the yard. It's nice to see our grandkids playing out back. I don't regret one single thing."

He knows he was the driving force behind the move. It was his idea, and him that researched houses and scheduled viewings. She came to look at all of the houses he found, wasn't exactly apathetic about it. It's on him, though, and if it had gone badly then that would have been on him too.

"Hey, Dad?" Lily comes bounding back towards them. The dog is a wild creature leaping around and trying to drag an enormous branch along with her. She follows Lily, her helicopter tail smacking against all of their thighs. "Can we make hot cocoa when we get back? And light the fire?"

The new house has an actual, real fireplace. He's been so enjoying splitting logs to use as kindling, setting the fire every morning to light in the evening. Last week, the grandkids came over and they made s'mores on the open fire.

"Of course we can. It's Christmas Eve, Lilypad. We can do whatever we like."

They walk until the dog is worn out and then they trek back to the house. When they finally make it home, Kate takes Pip through the garage and into the mud room to wash off her paws. She blows baby hairs out of her face while she crouches with the dog.

"Can I just say?" she turns over her shoulder to smile at him. "It's so much easier to clean her off now that we don't have to bring her through the lobby and the elevator and all that."

"Need a hand?" he chuckles.

Pip is patient, well used to the routine. She offers each of her paws one at a time for Kate to clean and dry off. Her tail wags, and every time Kate gets close enough the dog licks a long stripe up the side of her face. Kate finishes drying off the last paw and lets Pip go with a kiss to her nose.

"We're good. Thanks, babe."

Kate gets to her feet and he catches her, stealing a kiss while they're in the privacy of the mudroom. They only have a couple of seconds before the kids call for them that the cocoa is ready, and Rick tangles his fingers in Kate's and leads her out into the living room.

Each of them receive a mug from Lily and everybody piles onto the couches to enjoy their cocoa. Nobody really moves for the next few hours. Kate dozes off, her cheek pillowed against his thigh and her body stretched out along the length of the couch. The boys are playing some app on their phones, and Lily sits on the floor to groom Pip properly.

At three o'clock, Kate and Lily relocate to the kitchen to start preparing dinner. Rick hovers, making himself available to help if they need it but mostly trying to stay out of the way. The twins settle themselves at the table in the breakfast nook, part of the family but out of the way of the action.

"What are you hoping Santa Claus is gonna bring you, Jakey?" Lily asks. She's got flour on her cheek and mischief in the curve of her lips. "Have you been good this year?"

Jake rolls his eyes at his sister. His hair is a little bit longer than he usually wears it, and this morning he asked Kate if she'd cut it for him tonight. His bangs flop down over his forehead and he pushes them back with one hand.

"I'm good every year. And I asked for one of those shaving subscription box things."

Reece reaches out to stroke his brother's chin, checking for stubble. "Why, dude? Not like you grow anything anyways."

"Shut up," Jake shoves on Reece's arm, his face in a fearsome scowl. "I like to be well-groomed. You wouldn't know anything about that, since your preferred look is 'yeti.'"

"Oh, he likes to be well-groomed, everyone. Just in case some royalty drops in to visit." Reece puffs up his chest and sticks his nose into the air, mocking his brother.

"Boys," Kate sighs. She wipes her hands off on the apron around her waist and heads for where the boys are sitting. "Be kind to each other, please. Or Santa just might decide to skip you two this year."

Both of them look to Rick and he shrugs. They sigh and scowl and groan, but the moment everyone's attention is elsewhere their heads are bent over their phones again as they do battle on their favourite app.

"Hey, Mama?" Lily says. She's peeling carrots and Kate is beside her, chopping them into chunks. "My gift for you isn't really something that you open. Is that okay?"

"Of course, sweet girl." Kate sets the carrots down to wrap Lily up in a hug instead. "You know the best gift you could give me is just being here and being you."

Lily shares a small smile with Rick over her mother's shoulder. Her gift to Kate is a vacation, just the two of them. Lily is taking Kate to Iceland. It's somewhere she's always wanted to go. Lily is hoping to see the Northern Lights while they're there. More than anything though, the gift is quality time with mother and daughter. Rick helped her out financially, because he wanted his girls to be able to stay in a really nice hotel, and to be able to do whatever activities they want while they're there. He can't wait to see Kate's face tonight when they open gifts and she's surprised with the trip.

By the time Alexis and her family arrive, Jim hot on their heels, the whole house smells delicious. They like to cook their big meal on Christmas Eve, and have Christmas Day for leftovers. Kate and Lily have made a ham, with all the trimmings.

"This looks fantastic," Jim says. He's leaning heavily on his cane, but he seems otherwise healthy, and in good spirits. He kisses Kate's cheek, and then Lily's too. "You've outdone yourselves, ladies."

Harry has made a beeline for the twins, and Charlotte haunts Kate's side like a cheerful ghost. Once everybody is settled in, a drink in their hand, Rick takes a minute just to look around. His family are all here, festive and wonderful. In a few years, Lily and the twins might have families of their own. More grandkids to spoil, another few years where they get to create the magic of Santa Claus.

"Hey." Kate hooks her arm through his and rests her cheek to his shoulder. "You good?"

"More than." He kisses the crown of her head, and he lets her lead him back into the action.

* * *

 **A/N:** So, that's a wrap. Thank you so much for coming on this journey with me, and for all your sweet reviews. It is also, I think, going to be a wrap on my writing for this show. I'm about to graduate university in the summer, and it just feels like a natural stopping place. This story was my way of saying goodbye to these characters. I am hoping to finish the few unfinished stories I have going, but I don't want to make any promises. Thank you all for being so sweet to me these last five and a half years. It has been an enormous joy in my life to share my words with you. Please do come and find me on Twitter: reallybeanie. I'd love to keep in touch!


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